Isle of Wight News - Terry Wogan to switch on Christmas Lights

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 8 November 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Terry Wogan to switch on Christmas Lights
Father Christmas will be situated near Bargain Booze

It is the big Christmas Light switch on in Newport this weekend, and the Council have managed to get Sir Terry Wogan, 71, to press the button, illuminating the pedestrianised areas of Newport shopping centre. Over a thousand bulbs have been installed, and this year's theme is "Peace in Afghanistan".

'Tel' has been highly sort after for light switch ons this year, and the Isle of Wight are pleased he has agreed to switch on ours.

This year's switch on promises to be the biggest ever, with Welsh tribute act, The Pet Shop Boyos, putting on a show ahead of the main event. The switch on will be followed by a set from the legendary Led Zeppelin, taking us into the night. the evening is rounded off by near the knuckle comedy from Joe Pasquale, 56, and the Newport Male Voice Choir providing non-stop carols.

A firework spectacular will light the skies above Newport, promising more than a few oohs and aahs, as long as the fire department has cleared Stan Stan the Firework Man, 34, after the problems on Bonfire Night. Main Street will have acts from all over the world to entertain revellers, including The Amazing Origami Man, Gifts From Twigs and Dove Juggling.

Topping the bill this year is none other than the original and genuine Father Christmas, 319 of Lapland. Saint Nick will be arriving on his sleigh pulled by Rudolf the Red Nosed Donkey, and children of all ages (up to 8) can visit him and receive a gift at Santa's Grotto on Main Street, near Bargain Booze.

Shops will be open until 9pm.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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