Squishy mess : Search for survivors following collapse of hotel made from Sumo wrestlers
Japan: Rescue workers are franticly attempting to rescue hundreds of American and French tourists who were caught in a horrifying building collapse. The tower, built in Kooriyama (Fukushimma, Japan) was constructed entirely from 950,000 Sumo wrest...
Read full storyCrotch bomber may be help to motorcyle industry in China
The worlds largest import of motorbikes are interested in contacting the "crotch bomber" to try to incorporate his "underwear" bomb into their new motorcycle aptly dubbed "crotch rocket". The new bike just being mass produced in China is at prese...
Read full storyBarack Obama wart turns up on Ebay, Dr. under investigation
The Dr. who removed the wart like growth from President Obama's cheek/nose is under investigation for possibly having put the "wart" on ebay to gain a profit a local news has reported. There appears to be a clamor of bidding on this popular auctio...
Read full storyCrotch Bomber to Use "Nuh-uh!" Defense
The court-appointed attorney for crotch bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab announced today that his legal defense at the upcoming criminal trial will be based on the "Nuh-uh!" theory. "What else can I do?," said Illinois Public Defender John Maynard...
Read full storyAl Gore Claims He Invented Snail Trails and The Wet Spot
Former Vice President Al Gore has added to the list of things that he feels that he invented. The former inventor of the internet now says that he is responsible for creating the wet spot and snail trails. Said Gore, "when I was a young and randy...
Read full storySearch of NBA Players Lockers Find Only Three Without Handguns
In light of the recent news stories about a gun stand off between two NBA players in their locker room, the NBA (National Basketball Association) has announced that they have searched all lockers in all arenas. Results of the search found handguns o...
Read full storyTrials and Tribulations of the Modern Sensitive Male
The pure white snow seemed to shine as the rays of mid morning broke free of the passing clouds and filled in the shadows with light. An unusually warm day on this February 21st, the snow had started to melt slightly on its top layer forcing small drifts and mounds to take on a smooth reflective finish. They had waited what seemed like a lifetime to get to this place, a modest little cabin nestl...
Read full storyCo-Joined Twins attacked On Visit To Lincoln's Grave During School Trip
Terry and Mary McBriar, a pair of co-joined twins, were treated for injuries that a local hospital and released after the were assaulted while visiting Abraham Lincoln's gravesite. The two were on a field trip with a busload of other students from C...
Read full storyDisaster as snow hits the South of England
After weeks in which the north of England, all of Scotland and much of Wales has been under a blanket of snow some three feet deep, causing death, destruction and delayed bus services, the snow has reached the south east. This has prompted news se...
Read full storyNeed Your House Demolished By Controlled Explosion? Then Call WTC Demolitions Inc
'Do you own twin tower blocks in a city center that are scientifically impossible to be brought down by any number of airliners crashing into them? Have a third smaller tower block also needing dynamiting? Then call us at WTC Demolitions Inc, on FreeFone 911911911. Yes, siree, we are the experts in demolishing even the biggest and highest buildings in the world, and if over 3,000 people just ha...
Read full storyRosie to pose nude in gay women's magazine
A recent report by a new gay women's magazine states that Rosie O'Donnel in an attempt to make her exiting partner jealous of her has agreed to do a full frontal spread of herself lying on a polar bear skin rug. Rosie is a woman who is not afraid...
Read full storyDonkey With Large Penis Gets 7-Yr. Old Student In Trouble
In Memphis, Tennessee, a young second grade student has gotten into trouble after the teacher asked the students to draw a Holiday scene. The boy handed his in, showing a manger scene with a donkey with a huge penis that fell to the floor. Th...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Chips Tooth On A Hair, Apparently
According to his Twilight Series: Eclipse co-star, Bryce Dallas Houston Howard, Robert Pattison, the British James Dean(?), chipped a tooth while flossing. Bryce revealed the information after New York, New York Magazine asked her about the big sc...
Read full storyMan With World's Largest Penis And Woman With World's Largest Vagina Axed By TV Channel - First Anniversary Update.
On the first anniversary of one of the decade's leading news stories, top reporter Dick Dirtbox and a couple of his drinking cronies held a press conference to announce the latest developments in the continuing saga of the man with the world's larges...
Read full storyMyley Cyrus Beau, Liam & Brother Chris In Another Fight After Joke
Miley Cyrus' favorite at the moment, Liam Hemsworth and his brother, Chris, got into another fight outside a night club over the holidays and it may have been over Cyrus and her recent oriental joking. After one recent bout was caught on camera an...
Read full storyFranchise outlets fight over claim to first Tiger visit
It has come to the attention of tourists as well as local residents in sin city, that according to the Marquees in front of the local Pancake Hut and Pizza House that they are at war regarding which one of the establishments had the first visit from...
Read full storyMeghan McCain comforts ex-squeeze Tila Tequila
Los Angeles - (MuffBuff): Dirty Sexy Politics: A True Story author Meghan McCain is back in LA comforting a bereaved Tila Tequila. The daughter of GOP presidential candidate 2008 John McCain and his wife Sindeep (sic) broke off an exploratory good...
Read full storyGoogle's Nexus One Mistaken for Hair Care Product Line
Both industries following parallel paths when it comes to the marketing of new formulas or technologies, personal communication and hair care customers are getting confused over recent product offerings by both Google and Nexxus companies. While N...
Read full storyAshley Cole Ticketed For Driving His Lamborghini At 104 MPH!
LONDON - Chelsea football star Ashley Cole and his wife Cheryl were merely out driving to get some fish and chips when they were stopped by London police on the A3, aka The Portsmouth Road. The officer Bardolf Crownridge informed Mr. Cole that he...
Read full storyPrince Charles shows off the "Family Jewels"
The new British "BOYS" tabloid in town is tittering over a photo of Prince Charles recently posted. The Queen is not amused and is sending her head hunters out to try to quash any further publication of her son's anatomy. The tabloid is pub...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Challenges Rachel McAdams and Keira Knightley To See Who Has Smallest Boobs
Taylor Swift is tired of the comparisons and is throwing down the gauntlet. She has challenged other young starlets Rachel McAdams and Keira Knightley to see which one has the smallest breasts. "I'm sick of being compared to them. I want the dis...
Read full storySuicide Bomber in Afghanistan was a double headed double agent and confused everybody!
The CIA admit to being bamboozled by a double headed double agent posing as a cleaning lady, with a bucket and mop and a pair of rubber "Wellies." Not knowing that the double headed double agent was actually working for Al Qaeda not the CIA, the F...
Read full storyFirst Lady raises flag in Oval Office
Sitting in the oval office, President Obama takes a break from the busy business of ruining our country (oops) running our country and flips through the Spoof entries about him. "The President has a great sense of humor" says his right hand man, V...
Read full storyWashington Redskins Hire Mike Shanahan As New Head Coach
Mike Shanahan was announced this morning as the new head coach of the Washington Redskins. The team, which has had 119 head coaches under owner Dan Snyder, announced that Shanahan would begin work immediately to rebuild the former once proud dynasty...
Read full storyFormer sledge manufacturer sues Al Gore
Former sledge manufacturer Steve Ledger is taking Legal Advice about raising a Legal Action against Al Gore. Mr S ledger sold his sledge manufacturing business for a fraction of its worth during the summer of this year after hearing daily news bro...
Read full storyTallest building in the world opens in Dubai offering free jumps for melted-down Financiers!
With a torrent of fireworks and spectacular light-show costing millions, the Burj Khalifa tower in Dubai was opened today. Surprising the rest of the world and its jealous neighbours Dubai went ahead with the opening although it's a well known fac...
Read full storyMonkey See, Monkey Do
Reporting from a zoo I discovered that Monkey's are not only great at throwing tea parties but they are also incredible mimics. Waving at a little cheeky monkey, I was stunned to see him flicking me the bird and gesturing lewdly. I pulled down my...
Read full storyTiger Woods Nude Shower Scene With Partner Rumored
Forget the shocking shower scenes from the movie "Psycho", there may be some even more shocking to Tiger Woods if stories are true. Right on the heels of a recent magazine story of Tiger getting caught by a security camera fondling some young lady...
Read full storyHeather Mills Anxious For Dancing On Ice To Start
LONDON - One of Great Britain's top rated shows Dancing On Ice has proven that ice, celebrities, and music do go well together. The shows producer Burgess Willowhouse has stated that this years edition promises to be the best one yet. Willowhou...
Read full storyBlitzer Urges Crotch Bomber to Become Jewish
CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer has appealed to infamous "Crotch Bomber" Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab to switch to Judiasm. "It's a much more peaceful religion than Christianity-plus we don't go around proselytizing." Blitzer's comments came in response to...
Read full storyRecently Discovered Diary of Sheriff of Nottingham Reveals that Little John's Real Nickname Was Little Johnson
The discovery of a journal in a London trunk has revealed many unknown facts about the whole Robin Hood legend. Historians and historical archaeologists are hurriedly reading through the pages and cross checking facts to determine what did happen in...
Read full storyDid Hemingway Copy Mark Twain?
'Death In The Afternoon' is a book by Ernest Hemingway, supposedly about The Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, but some scholars do not think so. Maybe there's more of a hidden meaning to the book than meets the eye. Could this famous work be abou...
Read full storyKevin Jonas & New Bride Danielle Expecting First Baby
Recently married Kevin Jonas, apparently making up for lost time as a virgin, has knocked up his young wife Danielle according to reports out of Hollywood this morning. The newlywed bride reportedly told friends of her family that Kevin was a wild...
Read full storyThe Bachelor Boots Off The Only Non-Caucasian Woman (Hmmmmm)
HOLLYWOOD - Season 14 of The Bachelor started off with this years lucky guy getting his pick from a record-breaking 73 girls. This years lone male on the 2010 edition of The Bachelor - On The Wings of Love, is Jake Pavelka, a pilot from Dallas, wh...
Read full storyObama Moves to Prove Bi Partisanship: Appoints Transgender Person to 'Pants Suit Posse'
In an effort to dispel claims by the 'Fair & Balanced' Press that he has been employing 'Chicago' politics, and not fulfilling his promise of ' bi partisan cooperation,' President Obama has thrown them 'some meat with no bone', introducing a Tr...
Read full storyGlobal Freezing is happening right here right now
Global Freezing is happening right now according to scientist Professor Edward Coldwell from London. Professor Coldwell appeared at a press conference in London and said: "Up until now I have not been allowed to air my views because the only v...
Read full storyWhen is a pig not a pig
When is a pig not a pig apparently when its served up as breakfast. A restaurant in New York known as Piggies is causing major controversy with its menu for example instead of Ham and Eggs, its Pig and Eggs a ham sandwich is now on the menu as a Pig...
Read full storyPerverts Slam New Anti Terrorist Measures
The introduction of new body scanners at airports has been condemned by a group representing perverts. The Association Representing Smutty Entertainment (A.R.S.E) is concerned that members working in airport security may have to concentrate on lookin...
Read full storyBertie Basset to visit Weeping Bassett
Bertie Bassett the liquorice allsort character wants the town of Wootton Bassett to be renamed Weeping Bassett in memory of all the unnecessary deaths of young soldiers who are brought back home in a wooden box. Bertie is absolutely fuming mad at...
Read full storyHull City Allowed Wigan FA Cup Win
Hull City manager Phil Brown has confirmed that his team's FA Cup 3rd round exit at Wigan Athletic was due to the fact that the Latics 'need' to have a good 'Cup run' was greater than that of the Tigers, and he had, therefore, ordered his City player...
Read full storyOde to the Big Shoppe
You are my refuge, my Big Shoppe, You save my life, ev'ry day, When I dither in your car park, Trying to decide what to eat today - You show me the way, To the supermarket, In your basement underbelly. Oh, the aisles! There are so many! And plentifully stocked, But the locals and their trolleys, Keep them permanently blocked - You show me the way, To an empty till, Where a girl eage...
Read full storyEnglish Breakfast Poem
The chewing now is over The 'gnawing at the bone' Sausages burnt to a cinder Tomatoes underdone Bacon far too crispy See the yolks run and run! Rounded off with Heinz baked beans And a well-grilled onion. Transport cafe breakfast In amongst the jasmine breeze An intruder, nay, impostor Is floating through the trees The English are a-frying A meal that's sure to please Traditional e...
Read full storyKepler Telescope Discovers Five Planets, NASA Thrilled
As if on cue, and akin to the performance seen on camera when the last "Ice Probe" drove itself into the lunar surface without so much as a puff of dust, NASA scientists were again throwing their pocket protectors in the air in celebration of the Ke...
Read full storyChris Brown Snubbed with News of Rihanna's New Dodger Boyfriend
Still trying to mend fences with his former plaintiff/victim girlfriend Rihanna, Chris Brown was shocked at the news that Los Angeles Dodger outfielder, Matt Kemp, has been dating her in recent weeks. Though Rihanna was not reached for comment on...
Read full story'Two Thousand And Ten (Part 2)' by Eric Blair
January, 2010. Winston Smith shivered in his tiny house in Victory Ginpalace Mansions as he woke up, trying not to pay attention to the telescreen in the corner of the room. How he hated that machine! Always watching him whatever he did, and showing propaganda films about Big Brother's heroic leadership in the war against Eurasia. And how he wished he could get more coal, but the ration had...
Read full storyCasper the Friendly Ghost turns up to scare Yvette
During filming of the most recent series of the television series Most Haunted in Chillingthem Castle screaming banshee Yvette Fielding and her annoying boring husband Karl Beattie used the Ouija Board in the notorious chamber of death in the baseme...
Read full storyAlistair Dullthing
Chancellor Alistair Dullthing has been described as the most dull boring guy who ever became Chancellor of the Exchequer with the exception of Gordon Brown the most boring dull guy who ever walked the face of the earth. Chancellor Dullthing is loo...
Read full storyMr Bean to replace Gordon Brown
Some visitors to Spains EU presidency website were directed to a blog that showed a smiling Mr Bean instead of the countrys Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero. We decided to conduct a poll to see if people in the UK would prefer Mr Bean a...
Read full storyCatholics Refuse Republicans Request To Canonize Ronald Reagan
The Catholic Church today rejected the Republican Parties attempt to have Ronald Reagan canonized as a saint. The Republicans have been striving for some time to win over the Church to their viewpoint of Reagan as being divine, but the Catholics...
Read full storyTiger come back says Boo Weekly
Boo Weekly is the only professional golfer who wants Tiger Woods to come back. Every time Boo starts a round of golf at a major championship the whole crowd shout BOO so Boo thinks that if Tiger Woods returns he will get the same treatment. Most p...
Read full storyWhitlock plays darts upside down
Australian Dart Player Simon Whitlock had a fantastic run in the world dart championships in reaching the final where he was beaten by the power of 15 times World Darts Champion Phil The Power Taylor. Whitlock today said that he plays even better...
Read full storyEarth to be renamed little dot
Nasa's Kepler space telescope has detected its first 5 planets beyond our solar system. Even although we have more powerful telescopes than ever when it comes to detecting planets outside our solar system it becomes very difficult because of the a...
Read full story'No Brittany Murphy' Casey Johnson OD'd on Tequila?
Los Angeles - (Propofool): LA pathologists were piecing together today Casey Johnson's final hungover hours. Reports claim she'd lain in a coma for nearly a week 'before fiancee Tila Tequila reckoned she could be dead.' Three weeks previously t...
Read full storyOprah Tells Larry King That Her And Gayle King Are Not Lesbians
LOS ANGELES - Larry King, host of Larry King Live finally was able to book a celebrity that he has wanted on his show for years and years. The queen of daytime television Oprah Winfrey appeared on Larry's show. Larry said that he was so happy b...
Read full storyCondoleezza Rice Says She Rejected Tiger Woods
LAFAYETTE, Louisiana - Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice was in Lafayette on the Southern leg of her book signing tour. Rice, who recently underwent breast augmentation surgery, proudly boasted that she was as thrilled as a python at a ki...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Commemorative Postage Stamps Go On Sale
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Postal Department has begun selling the new Michael Jackson Series 44 cent postage stamp. Their are four different stamps in the Michael Jackson Series. The first stamp shows Michael Jackson when he was singing...
Read full storyBreakthrough in hair growth
From the laboratories of Bald is Bad Hair Transplant, Inc. we bring you the promising news that even if you were born bald you too can now grow the coveted coverage you have always envied. The new formula that is now being used on total skin heads...
Read full story"Pee Shooters" Take Aim at City's Public Urination Woes
SAN FRANCISCO, California - Public urination is a problem that affects densely populated areas in many large American cities, but in San Francisco, a renegade group of concerned citizens has finally decided to do something about it. Calling themse...
Read full storyMonica and Hilary become friends on Facebook
The infamous "under cover" girl that made Bill Clinton famous is now "friends" on face book with Bill's wife. The two ladies began "talking" recently when Monica signed in to face book and found Hilary requesting her for a "friend". If this isn...
Read full storyTiger Woods Buys The Detroit Tigers
DETROIT - The rumor that had been running rampant throughout the city of Detroit and lower Michigan for the past month has become reality. Detroit Tigers owner Michael Ilitch has confirmed reports that he has in fact sold his Major League Baseball...
Read full storyDid Michael Jackson diary reveal affair with "Liz"?
Recent findings in the home of Michael Jackson have uncovered a hidden diary that was found by moving men as they cleaned out the singers attic. Speaking with the promise that we would not reveal his name, United Actors Moving Company employee showed us a photo copy of one of the pages in the alleged diary of this talented performer. "Tonight while lying in bed with my beloved Liz beside me...
Read full storyKaradishan girls design new bags
The Kardashian girls not to be left out of any worthy news story were seen strutting down Rodeo Drive, arms loaded with packages printed with messages that read, "I HAVE NOT SLEPT WITH TIGER WOODS". These three beautiful young ladies, stars of the...
Read full storyZac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens To Star In "High School Musical 4 - The Baby Bump Years"
HOLLYWOOD - Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens have just confirmed that they have agreed to star in the fourth installment of the High School Musical series. High School Musical 4 - The Baby Bump Years follows Troy Bolton and Gabriella Montez after the...
Read full storyWife Commits Act of Treason By Buying Mild Picante Sauce
My wife teaches school. On her way home, she was going to stop at the grocery store and pick up a few things that we needed for dinner. She committed a major mistake, a faux pas, an act of rebellion so grievous that even the ability for forgiveness is not negotiable. She bought mild picante sauce. Now, my mother is Italian and I grew up on the Mexican border in Texas. I've lived within 100...
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