Need Your House Demolished By Controlled Explosion? Then Call WTC Demolitions Inc

Written by matwil

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

'Do you own twin tower blocks in a city center that are scientifically impossible to be brought down by any number of airliners crashing into them? Have a third smaller tower block also needing dynamiting? Then call us at WTC Demolitions Inc, on FreeFone 911911911.

Yes, siree, we are the experts in demolishing even the biggest and highest buildings in the world, and if over 3,000 people just happen to be in them when we get working, well, we can always fill US TV news up with lots of childish drivel about 'terrorist' attacks to explain it all away!

And if your city has a US air force base within 2 minutes' reach, we'll even make sure that for the first time since the 1970s they don't intercept any unidentified jets they usually do on a weekly basis, not that the jets could actually demolish the buildings - that will be our massive explosives, placed carefully at the base of the tower blocks. And no tower block in the world could be brought down by fire.

We are the best at what we do at WTC, we can even get a brain-damaged alcoholic chimpanzee - the 43rd President of the USA, for instance - to appear on US TV news to blame our demolitions on 'temerrorists', the poor chimp is so drunk most of the time he can hardly talk like a human being.

And at no extra cost - well, a few billion on your taxes actually - we will then send an army across the world to fail at winning yet another war to defend British and French oil supplies, just because we demolished your tower blocks, you know it makes no sense!

And remember, folks - European and Middle Eastern culture has existed for tens of thousands of years, America has no culture and it's only existed for 233, so we think we know who might be smarter when it comes to spotting certain central intelligent agencies at work, don't you?

WTC Demolitions Inc - it took non-Americans about 3 hours to work it all out, but hey, grown adults in the USA still haven't got it yet, years later. Next thing Americans will be believing Pearl Harbor was a 'surprise' attack! Though how a massive Japanese naval fleet evaded detection sailing thousands of miles across the Pacific Ocean, with thousands of American-paid spies in every part of that area,

and US spotter planes routinely daily checking hundreds of square miles around Hawaii, including at least one hours before the attack - the pilot was interviewed by UK television and admitted he reported it but was told to 'forget it' by his commanding officer - might just mean that Pearl Harbor was deliberately allowed to happen'.

It was. And the Twin Towers could only have been brought down by controlled explosions. Grow up, USA, it's embarrassing, like little children blocking their ears so they can't hear nasty things the grown-ups are telling them.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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