Callers To Toll Free Number Get Directed To Porn Site!
Some New Year's revelers who knew they were too sodded to drive, tried to call for a tow home as promised in ads all over the local television news. Instead the callers who needed help in getting home got relayed to a pornography number. "I got...Read full story
'Free Willy' on ice!
This has got to be one of the most intrepid rescue operations ever attempted in this country and is also based on a true story as reported in the Daily Telegraph online Free Willy In sub-zero conditions, firefighters were called to an incident and...Read full story
Amy Winehouse Introduces New Cologne, 'Winehouse Weener'
Amy Winehouse is now in the cologne business but not just any cologne, it's Winehouse Weener, something that ladies can spray on their husbands to get HER in the mood. Leave it to Ms. Winehouse to go against the flow and try something completely...Read full story
Tiger Woods Stops Farting After Blasting His Way To The Top!
Tiger Woods, who is getting into deeper dodo every other day it seems, has offered to quit farting and stay on the shitwagon if Elin will come back and bring the children. "I'll give up the women and I'll quit farting around", promised Tiger. A...Read full story
"Tiger's chocolate balls are the best" say women everywhere
The company famous for making chocolates in the shape of celebrities is at work fast and furious producing their latest delicacy. "This will be our biggest seller yet" boasts Thomas Sweet, President of Famous Chocolates Inc. Taking advantage of t...Read full story
Betty does Bob
The baby boom generation may soon have the geriatric porn they have been begging for in a movie remake of a very popular 1970's porn flick. The movie is said to start production next month deep in the Florida everglades. Secret sources report the...Read full story
Conjoined Twins x 2 Reach Everest Summit
Jubilant scenes here at the foot of the roof of the world as not one, but two sets of conjoined twins made history by becoming the first conjoined twins to summit Mount Everest and return safely to Base Camp. Married conjoined couples, Mary and Te...Read full story
Artie Lange's Stab Wounds Mistakenly Reported
Following reports of the Howard Stern sidekick being admitted to a New York Hospital with multiple stab wounds and a potential substance abuse issue, local newspapers had branded the incident a "suicide attempt", though Lange disputes those claims.Read full story
Casino for paupers due to open in Vegas soon
The Vegas news states that the newest casino planning to open in the Spring of 2011 is catering only to the poorest of the poor. Where most elaborate casinos in this high rollers city are trended to the big money players, Casino Exsqualler is desi...Read full story
San Jose Earthquake Mixes Perfect Margarita
In preparation for the upcoming lunch rush, bartenders at a downtown San Jose restaurant were in process of mixing ingredients in five gallon buckets when the earthquake struck, knocking bottles of tequila and a box of fresh limes into the pails.Read full story
Guy Fawkes attempts a coup d'état to blow Gordon Brown away unfortunately it failed and he'll be burnt at the stake on the 05.11.
Gordon Brown has survived a "coup d'état" to explode him out of power by none other than Guy Fawkes, albeit, his great, great, great, great, grandson (is that enough greats?). Assisted by rebel Labour MP's who opened the "Traitors Gate" Guy secret...Read full story
Laughter Quantified Into Humor Levels
Researchers for The Humor Institute of Bob Hoskins University have qualified and quantified the levels of laughter beyond the basic smile, giggle, or chuckle. Their levels of increasing laughter are: Laugh so hard that you get a runny nose Laugh so hard that you snort Laugh so hard that you gag Laugh so hard that you fall out of your chair Laugh so hard that you pee Laugh so hard that y...Read full story
Tiger is Hiding in a bunker
Tiger Woods the worlds greatest golfer is now hiding in shame in a bunker under his house ever since the stories broke regarding Woods carrying on like Casanova. Strange that Tiger who used to avoid bunkers on the golf course is now hiding out in on...Read full story
Local Man Wonders Why TEA is spelled 'TEA' instead of 'T'
Local deep-thinker Norbert Wibble was at it again today as he pondered one of the mysteries of the world: why isn't the word 'Tea' spelled 'T'. Mr. Wibble, 53, Cockchafe Street, Orkney Islands, was enjoying a nice cup of warm brew when the thought...Read full story
'Non-racial Henry Louis Gates incident' sees Cameron Reagan busted, again
Los Angeles - (OMG!): Nancy Reagan is apoplectic. 31 year-old grandson Cameron Reagan has been busted yet again on suspected burglary charges. The incident has been described by some as 'spookily reminiscent of the Henry Louis Gates incident'...Read full story
The Bachelor Sex Scandal Hits The Fan
HOLLYWOOD - Well it only took the first show of the new Bachelor season for a scandal to rear its ugly head. One of my show insiders Dick Parsley, who, if truth be told, is a pathological liar, said that one of the contestants had become voluntari...Read full story
Charlie Sheen drops his pants and then is "dunked" by Michael Jordan!
Charlie Sheen, world famous infidelity expert, cum bum actor, cum comedy soap - star is being dropped by everyone. Sheen was allegedly caught threatening his missus on Christmas Day, dumped in the slammer, dropped his pants to prove he wasn't hidi...Read full story
Judge orders Palin baby to be given to Levi's mother
The judge who is presiding over the case of the Palin/Johnston child custody suit is being "judged" himself as the people of Alaska are storming the courthouse in protest of his decision. Judge Ronald McStine, having 30 years on the bench in Baked...Read full story
The Gun-Totin' NBA Star Gilbert Arenas Has Been Suspended For The Rest of The Season
WASHINGTON D.C. - The commissioner of the National Basketball Association has banned Washington Wizards all-star point guard Gilbert Arenas for the remainder of the NBA season. Stern said that he will also be levying a fine on Mr. Arenas. When ask...Read full story
Siamese Twins Can't Decide if They Are Co-Joined or Cojoined
Siamese twins Mary and Terry McBriar are joined at the hip and have only three legs. A recent question from a curious person in England currently has them stumped: are they "co-joined" twins or "cojoined" twins? Mary, the more intelligent and com...Read full story
"Global Warming" cripples UK and Europe?!
The UK and Europe has been crippled by a peculiar form of "Global Warming" called "snow blizzards and Artic temperatures!" Since the middle of December 2009 half of the world has been coated by a layer of ice and snow even reaching Spain, Italy,th...Read full story
New Pickle growth procedure may work on the human penis
What seemed to be a hoax turned out to be a reality it seems. A small vegetable canning plant in South Carolina recently discovered that by packing pickles one to a jar the pickles expanded and grew even after the processing procedure. They imm...Read full story
Many of Hollywood's Breast Actresses Upset That They Were Not Invited to Smallest Boobs Competition, Saying It's A Big Deal
Several high profile Hollywood Actresses are upset that they were not invited to compete in a "smallest boobs" contest between Taylor Swift, Keira Knightley, and Rachel McAdams. These "A" list women (in more ways than one) say that this competit...Read full story
LeAnn Rimes Has Been Barred From Ever Entering Kansas
TOPEKA, Kansas - The Kansas State Legislature has voted to bar country singer LeAnn Rimes from ever entering the midwest state. The governor of Kansas, Piffy Tiltenbrewster, 72, said that he had received thousands of emails and text messages telli...Read full story
David Hasselhoff Says He's Gone A Whole Week Without Acting Stupid
LOS ANGELES - David Hasselhoff the former star of Baywatch and one of the three judges on the reality show America's Got Talent proudly boasted to his hairstylist, KiKiWiWi, that he actually went one whole week without getting drunk and making a fool...Read full story
Dad's Army floored by a snow fall
['Who Do You Think You Are Kidding, Mr. Hitler'? plays, sung by Bud Flanagan] [Scene: Church hall in the Sussex town of Walmington-on-Sea, south-east England. A small snow fall happened overnight] Captain Mainwaring: 'Right, Wilson, get the men at attention' Sergeant Wilson: 'Yes, sir. Would you chaps mind awfully coming to attention?' Mainwaring: 'Now, men, I have called you here for...Read full story
Charlie Bronson goes free
Charles Bronson, notorious Death Wish actor and so-called leader of murderous hippy cult the Family, was freed last night after 40 years in jail, for the infamous Tattie Bianco slayings, which he claims he never committed. "I was innocent all alon...Read full story
Spoof Writer Sells Online Identity To Workmate
You really can't believe everything you read on The Spoof.com as a breaking news story perfectly illustrated in the early hours of this morning. Spoof writer, Skoob has sold his online Spoof writing identity to a workmate, so far named only as Dav...Read full story
Grantham wins UK top gun award
Dirty Den Grantham, star of TV's Eastenders, has been chosen by Her Majesty to recieve a top gong for not shooting any taxi drivers in the back of the head since 3rd December 1966. Del Boy (real name Leslie Crowther) was said to be delighted with...Read full story
Tila Tequila Says "I Need a Wifey with Balls!" Sets Sights on Tony Romo Who Set His Hair on Fire When Hearing the News!
A distraught Tila Tequila, lamenting the demise of her bankrupt 30 year old 'Wifey" Heiress Casey "Q-Tip" Johnson, after yet another drug related tabloid sensation, says she's now looking for someone 'with more balls...and Money!" A spokesman f...Read full story
Bastards! - Consumer Groups Slam Brit Panic Buyers
Consumer groups here in arctic Britain today launched a scathing attack on Britain's selfish, uncaring panic-buying hoarders, labelling them as "Bastards!" In supermarkets all over the country, shoppers were greeted by empty fresh veg sections, em...Read full story
Noodle Shop Experience
The aroma assaults me The heat is intense Choking on chillis To me, makes no sense But here is all life And all life is here The noodles, the men, the women, the beer The vendor surveys me Her stare is intense She throws in more chillis She can't comprehend A farang in her shop? It doesn't make sense But why complain If he's willing to spend? I survey the menu But 'Mai kow ja...Read full story
Russell Brand Vows Betrothal Tattoo for Katy Perry
Eating up the press coverage on his recent engagement announcement to singer Katy Perry, British Comedian Russell Brand jokingly declared that he would soon apply a 50 centimeter tattoo of Katy Perry's face on his body as proof of his commitment.Read full story
Bureau's Log-in Details Discovered By Monkey Woods!
There was panic in the newsroom at TheSpoof.com office today when one of its writers, known as Monkey Woods, announced that he had at last cracked leading writer Bureau's login-in details, and had written a story in his name! Woods, a complete and...Read full story
Senator Larry Craig Saves 189 Lives!
Senator Larry Craig of Idaho became a hero today after a terrorist who had a hollow leg blows up at the Kennedy Airport in New York. The Senator is listed in stable condition as fellow Republicans say that this was what Craig was planning, ever si...Read full story
Naked Blond Woman Seen Fleeing Tiger Wood's Estate!
After receiving a telephoned tip that something was was up once again at the Tiger Woods estate, several reporters were on hand to witness a shapely blond lady fleeing the house and attempting to get into a car. After trying for several minutes, t...Read full story
Dawson Inducted to the MLB Hall, McGwire Slighted Again
Major League Baseball Hall of Fame inductees were announced this week for 2010, including noted hitter Andre Dawson, former coach Whitey Herzog and umpire Doug Harvey. Garnering only 23% of the voting, former home run king, Mark McGwire, didn't even...Read full story
Thousands of Frozen Bank accounts reported
Thousands of people all around the country are reporting they have frozen bank accounts but this time for once the banks are not to blame.. Customers are turning up at banks with deposit accounts where the pages have been frozen together because o...Read full story
Just Call Me 'CC' Says Cheryl Cole
All round entertainer, chart topper, X-Factor judge, WAG, fantasy sex object, girl next door and hair product advertiser Cheryl Cole today announced that she was getting heartily sick of constantly being referred to as 'Cheryl Cole' "I'm gerrin si...Read full story
Spoof Editor Announces Plan to Move Site to Lithuania as Britain Drops to 25th On Quality of Life Index!
Senior editor of TheSpoof.Com announced plans today to move the popular site to the Baltic state of Lithuania after the recent Quality of Life Index showed that Britain had fallen to the number 25th position. While France, closely followed by Aust...Read full story
A New Year Love Letter:
A New Year Love Letter 2010: Coming to America Again by Maria Sars To Honor those separated from Loved ones: "Woman Mentally Breaks Up with King-To-Be Prince Charles" Dateline: Feast of the Holy Innocents International Space Station The lifelong imaginary romance with the to be good King Charles has ended the 46 year old allegedly female, authentic daughter of President John F. Kenne...Read full story
Woman wants to take monkey to the beach
Watching this popular show never ceases to amaze me. The other night a woman contestant was asked what she would do with the money if she won the big prize of 1/2 million dollars. Some contestants say they will help their parents or their fellow man etc. etc. This particular contestant said if she won she would use the money to buy a monkey. The host was overwhelmed to think she would nee...Read full story
Hubble Telescope pointed to earth in error
For many years the Hubble telescope has been scanning the universe photographing distant stars and galaxies thousands of light years from planet earth. Some of the pictures taken by the Hubble Telescope are spectacular giving us a greater understandi...Read full story
Co-Joined Twins May Have to be Separated
Co-Joined twins, Mary and Terry McBriar, may have to be separated on police advice. During a day trip to a local shopping centre, Mary was facing one way, and Terry the other, when local Mafia boss, Peanut Johnson, took out a shot gun and blew awa...Read full story
Fast Food Shortages Spread As Big Freeze Bites
Consternation and widespread anxiety in the UK today as the big freeze showed no sign of abating. As roads closed, airports struggled, and the rail network slowly shut down, the terrible reality of the big freeze dawned on the plucky Brits, who had h...Read full story
Ice loss embarrassment for receding Antarctica
Fears are rising for the emotional stability of Antarctica after space probes noticed that the contentment is losing its ice. In an attempt to slow or even reverse the receding ice, scientists at Antarctica Technology University (Antarctica) have...Read full story
Jonathon Woss quits BBC
Jonathon Woss the man who simply cannot pwonounce the letter R has quit the BBC after being asked to accept a weduced salary. He alweady gets a Wot more money than all other pwesenters but due to the wecession he was told that his salary would have t...Read full story
Dr Dolitttle talks to Jekyll the cat
Dr Dolittle the man who can speak to the animals has spoken to Jekyll the cat from Glasgow and has discovered that we would all be better of if Jekyll ran the country instead of Dumb And Dumber alias former Prime Minister Blair and current Prime Mini...Read full story
Cheryl Cole tests DNA positive for Simon Cowell's daughter
London - (Gonads): "Talent, charisma, star quality? Who needs 'em? With a secret birth Pa like Simon Cowell you can have it all!" That's this week's LA FagHagSlagMag's lead article as alleged singer, songwriter, dancer, fashion designer, author,...Read full story
Johnson family's tough love 'reduced Casey to Brooke Astor squalor'
Los Angeles - (Chaos Theory): A celebwatch website has accused Casey Johnson's billionaire family of practising a tough love dogma that lead to her death by squalor. LA FagHaghSlagMag's lead column said today that just like Brooke Astor the carrot...Read full story
Jack Frost attacks Jack Straw
Jack Frost has spoken out against Jack Straw claiming he is a man of straw trying to keep a guy who is stuck in the Brown stuff in power and has warned that both Straw and Brown are both going to end up in the shit. People are fed up with Brown th...Read full story
Casey Johnson 'was pregnant just like Diana' says Mohammed Al Fayed
London - (Reuterus): Harrabs department store hoaxer Mohammed Al Fayed has lashed out at reports that Casey Johnson was embalmed 'for her own good' on family orders. "That's what they say about Diana, to hide the pregnancy!" the phoney pharaoh spl...Read full story
Paula Abdul Found Wandering Listlessly At A Mall In Tarzana
TARZANA - Paula Abdul, the ex-American Idol judge who was fired because she was offered $10 million and she wanted $20 million was spotted wandering around listlessly at Tarzana's Orange Seeds Mall. Abdul was dressed in a Los Angeles Lakers halter...Read full story
Rev. Al Sharpton Defends Jessica Simpson
TUPELO, Mississippi - The Rev. Al Sharpton was in town speaking before a conference of The African-American Black Coalition To Unite And Form A Black Alliance. He was asked if he felt that black people in the south were finally being treated fairl...Read full story
Pair of Conjoined Twins Caught in Love Rectangle!
The McBriar twins, Mary and Terry, who are perhaps the most popular and watched conjoined twins on the planet, are having some relationship trouble with conjoined paramours, the Pissgum brothers. Terry, the naughty one, has been carrying on with M...Read full story
Extreme Right Wing Send 'The Obamanator' Back In Time To Put Things Right
January 2013- Republicans, their plans for world domination foiled by the overwhelming win in the presidential election that again brought Barack Obama to the throne of the most powerful country in the world, are upset. In anger over their bitte...Read full story
US surge in Afghanistan to be followed by more strategy alterations, warm fuzzy feeling
As thirty thousand more US troops wait to place foot on Afghan soil, a study ordered, waited for while whistling a tune and then ignored by Congress has been quietly gaining support across Washington. Penned by Commander Eric T. Olson, the docume...Read full story
British Leaders Compete for Chav Vote
British political leaders Gordon Brown and David Cameron are already sparring with each other to compete for the Chav vote prior to general elections in June of this year. Brown is looking for Labour to secure a fourth consecutive term in office...Read full story
Obama Refuses to Give State of Union Message Fearing Further Drop in Polls!
For the first time since 1934, there will not be a state of the union address by the President of the United States any time soon, according to a White House Spokesman who refused to be identified in fear of being mocked on Saturday Night Live by a...Read full story
Sam Taylor-Wood Pregnant With Boy Toy's Baby Boy
LONDON - Noted motion picture director Sam Taylor Wood has just announced that she is pregnant with her boy toy Aaron Johnson's baby. The 42-year-old Taylor-Wood who looks like she could be Heather Mills twin sister said that she is looking forwar...Read full story
Nevada Unemployment Plumments after Approval Given for Male Brothel!
Thousand of unemployed construction and casino workers are beating feet, and a trail, to Beatty, Nevada, after the way was cleared to start hiring male prostitutes at the 'Shady Lady Ranch." "We can't seem to handle the load," said Director of Hum...Read full story
Humility or Humiliation?
This morning, I watched the news and sports commentary about a high school basketball game in the Houston, Texas area. Two teams in the same division played, and one beat the other by a score of 170-35. The halftime score was 100-12. The coach of the winning team says that he played all of his players and that his goal was to score 200 points. The lack of sportsmanship demonstrated by the co...Read full story
McBriar & Pissgums Conjoined Twins Beat the Snot Out of Serena Williams & Rafael Nadal at Dubai Mixed Doubles Tennis Invitational!
In a tennis upset that has astounded the sporting world, two pair of conjoined twins took on the world's best in mixed doubles, and spanked them in front of a very late night TV audience. The distaff side of the upset minded players are the amazin...Read full story
Kate Gosselin Has A New "Do" and A New "Beau"
MANHATTAN - The newly divorced Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 TV fame was in town for an interview with MILF Monthly Magazine. Kate walked into the magazine's office sporting a new hairdo, a minidress that showed a quick glimpse of her pink...Read full story