White House to Sell Bo's "Accidents" to Pay For Bail Out
President Barack Obama has announced that First Dog Bo's feces will be auctioned off on E-Bay to help pay for the Bail Out plans. The piles, to be called Little Bo Poop, will be mounted on boards and sold to the hightest bidders. The announcement...
Read full storyRepublicans Promote Sex Orgies to Save Social Security
WASHINGTON, DC - Building on a program initiated by the late Sen. Jesse Helms (R-NC), the Republican Party announced today a stimulus package promoting sex orgies to save the nation's financially ailing Social Security system. Long plagued by fewe...
Read full storyMadonna adopted by Malawi family
In a surprise decision today, an American court has ruled of the Malawian family who have been trying to adopt the International Superstar Madonna. Having agreed with the family's assertion that Madonna's real parents Madonna and Silvio Ciccone ha...
Read full storyObama Bends Over for the King, Feels Up The Queen. Satirists Worldwide Elated!
After a season of scarce satire seeping from the White House ranks, comedy writers have finally found fodder for hilarious headlines. Weeks of wandering in the political wilderness have left scores of satirists weak and starving for material. But tha...
Read full storyPrime number wingnuts' Leonardo da Vinci 557th birth anniversary fears
London - (Numerology Mess): The Illuminati's number crunching conspiracy theorists are shitting bricks this week ahead of Leonardo da Vinci's long-prophesied 557th birth anniversary on April 15th. 557 is the 102nd known prime number and has been u...
Read full storyNorwegian sex acts lead to lengthy ban for dick at wheel!
A 28-year-old man from Trondheim in Norway is to face a lengthy ban after being caught having sex with his girlfriend on his lap whilst driving. Carlsberg police followed the blue Volvo swerving all over the road and so they recorded the incident...
Read full storyTV Listings
5:00 Television for schools and colleges: Math's Minuet 5:01 History File - Being a puppeteer's assistant in medieval France 6:00 Science in Action - The magic of sodium 6:30 Tony Bobbins: the learning aid - (6/8) Tony ponders the future of cheese wire 7:00 World of Wicker - available in HD 7:30 Morning Magnets - This week a working time machine is tested in the studio, how wi...
Read full storyFirst known Oldfoot spotted in rural London
An unknown creature until now, the world's first Oldfoot was spotted by a hiker in rural London, England. "It was a really weird-looking thing. The first thing that came to mind was those pictures of Bigfoot in North America, except this one l...
Read full storyEric Cantona Lamps Fan At Beach Soccer Match
In scenes eerily reminiscent of Selhurst Park, South London, when he twatted gobshite Crystal Palace fan Matthew Simmons following racial abuse, allegedly, if 'f**k off you French c**t' qualifies as racial abuse, Eric Cantona has been at it again.
Read full storyRobyn Moore - Mel Gibson's wife explains reasons behind divorce
In a break from the traditional secrecy around the 28 year long marriage, Robyn Moore, the wife of Mel Gibson has discussed some of the reasons for her filing for divorce last week. "Mel has always been an extremely dedicated actor, but in the las...
Read full storyOsmonds to play villains in new James Bond movie
In a bizarre twist of both plot and casting, it has been announced that the musical family the Osmonds are to play the villains in the next James Bond film. In the film due out late 2010, the story will see Bond (to once again be played by Daniel...
Read full storyLuton Town 0 Chesterfield 0
There was little to cheer about at Kenilworth Road this afternoon as bottom club Luton Town took on promotion hopefuls Chesterfield, and after a dull, lifeless affair, the scores remained at 0-0, a scoreline that was far from satisfactory for either...
Read full storyNew Metal Occult Band formed by Alisteir Crowley, Jimmy Page and Jaz
As a reaction to the rejection of my superb piece relating to a spoof press conference held by Jaz from Killing Joke I immediately called Jaz and informed him of the apparent lack of understanding and acceptance for esoterical/occult subject matter on the spoof site. In his anger he immediately informed the satanic underworld, touched based with Alisteir who in - turn informed Jimmy Page and t...
Read full storyObama Family's 'Dog' Actually Red Chinese Spy
The Secret Service is extremely disturbed over the discovery that the new dog adopted by the President's family is actually a Chinese mole. It is a mole not only in the sense that it has been equipped with micro-spy equipment in order to gather intel...
Read full storyFrance surrenders in administrative error
The nation of France has surrendered during war a number of times throughout history. They have surrendered to the British, Spanish, Germans and Italians to name but a few nations that they have signed terms with. However in a surprising twist of...
Read full storyFormer Meatf***ing District Death Avenue's High Line Park granted DEA medicinal licence
New York City - (High-as-a-Kite Mess): A 1930s disused elevated rail viaduct built on the site of NY's Meat***king District's notorious Death Avenue has just been granted a DEA licence to grow medicinal herbs including poppy, coca and 'natural grass'...
Read full storyMel Gibson's Wife, Robyn Files Legal Papers For Divorce!
Although friends and family knew that the long suffering Robyn had had enough several weeks ago when Mel was first caught with another woman, she's just now ending their long standing battles over his booze binges and fits of rage! Ironically, she...
Read full storyBo the Portuguese Water Dog is New First Pet
The Obama family introduced Bo, the new First Pet, to an excited and happy press today. Members of the media removed their lips from the President's ass long enough to take pictures of the Portuguese Water Dog. It was quickly discovered that Bo m...
Read full storyNoddy Set To Return
Channel 5 has announced that they are to broadcast a new series starring Noddy. An executive said "We are really excited about this. We think young and old alike will love to watch Noddy's adventures. He is such a wonderful character. With his great...
Read full story'I Have A Dream' Obama Tells USA
President Obama today told the United States Of America that he has a dream. Lots of people have dreams, nothing unusual in that, but Mr Obama has a special dream, apparently. Based on the speech by the late Rev Martin Luther King, Obama alleged t...
Read full storySir David Attenborough A "Complete Hypocrite"
The legendary broadcaster Sir David Attenborough is today outed as a complete and utter hypocrite. After decades making a living showing animals humping he has announced that he wants to control the number of times humans shag. "The population is...
Read full storyWhere's Gordon?
Government documents leaked this week detail new plans being discussed to protect Gordon Brown from accusations of complicity in any illegal, illicit or immoral actions engaged in by his own party. The documents are believed to have been drawn up in...
Read full storyManchester City Cause Havoc In Bangkok
Bangkok, Thailand - Ex Manchester City FC owner Thaksin Shinawatra has been causing utter mayhem in his native Thailand by challenging the Thai government. Shinawatra's supporters, known as red shirts (Whatever happened to Blue shirts? Blue Moon?)...
Read full storyAussie Roo Kill To Be Bounced Out Of Court
G'day from Wollongabbawollogabbadong. News just in. The massacre of kangaroos to be undertaken by government authorities is to be challenged. Activists have found plenty of support from local residents. Recently kangaroo numbers have been increas...
Read full storyLuton Airport passenger drop-off charge of £1 not actually for dropping off passengers
The newly introduced £1 charge for dropping passengers off at Luton Airport has been revealed today to be a fix, and is not actually for dropping off passengers at all. The Council in Luton, the only town in the country to have more roads coming o...
Read full storySomali Pirates Advised Not To Take On Navy Seals
In a completely unexpected statement from the UK today it has been revealed that several UK commentators have advised Somali pirates to not, under any circumstances, attempt to tackle the US Navy Seals in any form of revenge attack, following the kil...
Read full storyNavy Seals Sort Out Somali Pirates
The US Navy Seals today announced in the clearest possible terms that they are not about to take any crap from Somali Pirates. Somali Pirates commandeered a Maersk Line ship and pointed AK 47's at the head of Captain Phillips, at which point the N...
Read full storyMuslim Woman Stoned With Cricket Balls In Dudley. On A Bus.
Horror today here in Dudley as a Muslim woman, wearing a burka was stoned with cricket balls on a Wolverhampton to Dudley bus. It has yet to be ascertained why the violence broke out, but one passenger told us: "I think the Muslim woman express...
Read full storyFederico Macheda is Manchester United Genetic creation
There was shock in both the Sport and Scientific communities today as a Manchester United spokesman revealed that 17 year old star Federico Macheda was genetically created as part of a youth construction programme run by the club. It appears that...
Read full storyHannah Montana: The Movie Breaks Records
Miley Cyrus and alter-ego Hannah Montana have double-teamed their way to yet another No. 1 box office debut despite only being plugged on ABC's Good Morning all week before with Miley and her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, doing some numbers. "Hannah Monta...
Read full storyMichael Jackson announces O2 setlist
Insane Pop superstar Michael Jackson has announced today the setlist for the 50 night run which he will be performing in the O2 arena in London later this year. At time of the original announcement of the shows, Jackson said simply "I will be perf...
Read full story'60 more Baby Pees' hidden by Cabinet
London - (ReUterus & Sordid Ass Mess): The Cabinet has been hiding 'at least 60 more Baby Pees' according to police investigating a sordid sex attack ring in high public orifice. The police probe initially blamed feckless North London social w...
Read full storyTila Tequila and Lindsay Lohan to fight to the death
2 darlings of the internet and paparazzi have agreed to stage the first real life celebrity death match. Tila Tequila and Lindsay Lohan, both recently described as "ridiculous" and "pointless" by every single person on Earth, including themselves,...
Read full storyAfghan Entrepreneur falls foul of Mayonnaise Trademarks
An Afghani Entrepreneur, Alsari-Al Heinze, has today lost out in an Afghanistan court in a battle of copyright and trademark infringements over the production of his mayonnaise. Heinze's latest product, the first mayonnaise from the region had bee...
Read full storyStanley Baldwin's relative attempts the big time
A performer appearing on the latest edition of "UK's Got Talent" has caused a minor controversy by claiming to be the great grandson of former English Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin. In fact the performer's act WASclaiming to be the great grandson of...
Read full storyShearer resigns from Newcastle, admits whole thing was a bad prank
Alan Shearer has today resigned from the post of temporary Newcastle FC manager. The announcement came at a press conference this morning in which he in effect admitted that the whole thing had been an April Fool's prank that had gotten somewhat o...
Read full storyTarantino new movie to be remake of Mary Poppins
Even though his new film has just been completed, Quentin Tarantino has moved quickly to begin his next project. Although the movie is without a title, it has been confirmed that it is going to be a remake of the popular movie Mary Poppins. "It i...
Read full storyThose Labour emails and blogs revealed
The true extent and contents of the emails and blogs by Damian McOmen of the Labour party were revealed earlier today. Mr McOmen has retired from politics as a result. The Prime Minister was first in to apologies saying that it was actually not a...
Read full storyApprentice's Nick Hewer - You're fired!
Viewers to the latest episode of the apprentice have been left gasping with shock at the biggest twist in gamehow history. Nick Hewer, Sir Alan Sugar's right hand man for 35 years was sensationally fired on the spot after a series of uncharacteristic...
Read full storySir Alan Sugar fires himself in bonanza bedroom, boardroom, bunk-up!
Following an exhausting day belittling, berating and bullying his minions, Sir Alan returns to his penthouse for a nightcap. Several drinks later and the belligerent scheister staggers upstairs to be greeted by the amorous advances of "Lady Sugar".
Read full storyAdam Lambert kidnapped from the American Idol mansion by mysterious ninja
Hollywood, CA - Early Easter morning American Idol contestant Kris Allen frantically called the Hollywood police to report that fellow singer Adam Lambert had been kidnapped over night. Adam Lambert has been seen by many as the leading contender of A...
Read full storyRafa Nadal Launches Own Brand Of Underwear
Tennis number one Rafa Nadal is to launch his own brand of underwear, The Spoof.com can reveal. Under the brandname Wedgie Pants, the pants are to be sold at all the biggest outlets in the world and sales are expected to skyrocket. 'They'll come...
Read full storyAlex Bogdanovic Launches His Own Website.
Tennis British number 2 and world number 179 Alex Bogdanovic has launched his own website and tells me that he has big plans for the future. "Well, I've got my website, did I mention that? And I'm sure there's going to be a real improvement in my...
Read full storyGael Monfils Wants To Move Further Behind The Baseline
French tennis star and world number 10 Gael Monfils has urged tennis authorities to move spectators' seats further back so that he can stay even further behind the baseline. The black youngster, nicknamed Sliderman, on account of his agility and k...
Read full storyRoger Federer Marries Rafa Nadal's Mom
Roger Federer has married Rafa Nadal's mother in a move many see as the Swiss' last throw of the dice in their increasingly one-sided rivalry, in a private ceremony in Switzerland. "He needs to get into Rafa's head", says tennis analyst Mats Wilan...
Read full storyKim Clijsters: "Woman's Tennis Sucks Donkey Balls"
Ex-grand slam champion Kim Clijsters has revealed her private reason for returning to the tennis circuit in an interview with Bored Housewife magazine. "Woman's tennis sucks donkey balls", stated the Belgian, who will return after two years away '...
Read full storyObama turns around US economy in first 100 days!
Washington, D.C. -- After declaring the end of Western Civilization as we know it, President Barack Obama announce today that happy days are here again and that the sky is not falling, as he had previously predicted in all his speeches until now.
Read full storySarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel Break Up!
Sarah Silverman, 38, and Jimmy Kimmel, 41, have broken up for the second time. The couple had previously been together for five years before breaking up in July. A reconciliation followed shortly after, but things deteriorated following an appeara...
Read full storyKardashian Family Member Getting Plastic Surgery
Kim Kardashian announced that a family member will be undergoing plastic surgery to alter their looks substantially. An unnamed source claimed the surgery was prompted by the utter shame of being a Kardashian and that, post-surgery, the family mem...
Read full storyThe Obama's "First Puppy" Is Here
WASHINGTON D.C. - After months of speculation and waiting, the presidential first family has finally welcomed the much-awaited "First Puppy" to its new home; The White House. The Obama bow-wow is a little six-month old male Portuguese water dog wh...
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