Obama Bends Over for the King, Feels Up The Queen. Satirists Worldwide Elated!

Funny story written by Jill The Shill

Monday, 13 April 2009

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Satire Writers Return in Droves

After a season of scarce satire seeping from the White House ranks, comedy writers have finally found fodder for hilarious headlines. Weeks of wandering in the political wilderness have left scores of satirists weak and starving for material. But thanks to President Obama's closely watched World Tour, political parodies are once again as dense as pot smoke at a Britney Spears concert.

"Hallelujah!" exclaimed one dirty, smelly satire writer living out of his car for much of the past three months.

"Now I can work again. Yeah, I miss Bush, but thanks to that incident with the Queen, I've got a dozen new jokes." In fact, Internet statistics indicate a HUGE SPIKE in Obama related satire in the past week. "It's about time Obama bailed out the satire industry," said one parody writer working as a bill-board proof reader.

"And not a minute too soon...I was just about to become a male prostitute to make ends meet."

Technically, The-Touch-That-Was-Felt-Around-The-World was delivered by Michelle, but satirists are back to playing fast and loose with the facts. One headline proclaims, "Obama Wipes Booger on The Monarchy", without clarifying which Obama committed the egregious offense.

"I don't give a sh*t," exclaimed the person who penned the parody while stuffing a burger and fries down his throat. "I'm STARVING! Accuracy be damned". Headlines harkening to pop cultural television shows like "Heroes", proclaim, "Obama Touches Queen, Steals Political Powers," revealing the rapidly widening avalanche of Obama related satire across all genres.

Jay Leno, forced to rehash old Clinton jokes during Obama's first weeks in office, is relieved to have new material to work with. "If he just could have gotten the Queen to give him a blow-job, I could rework ALL of my Clinton jokes," chuckled the hackneyed ghost of Tonight Show past.

While the Queen saga provided a shot of adrenaline to the ailing on-line satire sector, the ensuing incident with Saudi King Abdullah was like Christmas and April Fools all rolled into one.

"It's like somebody hit an Obama piñata with a stick and all these faux pas came falling out," said another gleeful satirist. "As a writer who specializes in sexual innuendo, Obama bending over in front of an oil sheik was pure manna from heaven."

The Blogosphere erupted in hundreds of photo-shopped images and captions ranging from the mundane to the risqué. "We're back in business," said one political blogger. "Frankly, I thought we were dead in the water after Bush left."

But not all writers are as pleased with recent events. After writing a subtly humorous, overtly boring bit about pets resembling their owners, one writer chastised himself for racist overtones after observing that Obama's, "Black dog with curly fur," was entirely too stereotypical.

"I'm appalled at my own racism. I mean, seriously, Obama should have gotten a white dog just to thwart all these potential off-color jokes. It's just too easy. After months of freezing out the most marginal of humorists, Obama's now delivering material to them in spades. Wait, can I rephrase that...?"

On a tragic note, the writer reportedly hanged himself after the interview. The suicide note said in part, "Good-by cruel world...well, not that the ENTIRE world is cruel, but it suffices to say it's fairly intolerant. Having said that, I am truly sorry if I've offended anyone intolerant with accusations of cruelty..." And it goes on and on like that.

Another writer mused that he also has been too spooked to write Obama oriented satire for fear of being labeled racist, but gleefully embraces recent events. "Now that's he's as stupid as the next white guy, it's kind of a moot point, isn't it?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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