There were 776 spoof news stories published in July 2008. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders To Perform Naked
The Dallas Cowboys kick off the new season at Cleveland on September 7th with a brand new secret weapon in their artillery - naked Cheerleaders. The Cowboys will unveil the eyecatching lovelies in a bid to distract the Browns from their task in or...
Read full storyJessica Simpson apologizes for "wardrobe malfunction" on USO tour
Singer and actress Jessica Simpson issued a statement today adamantly denying claims that she purposely exposed her breast to U.S and British military personnel during a recent concert appearance on the military's USO tour in Kuwait.
Read full storyBearded Lady Also Had Hairy Balls
A Bearded Lady performing in a circus based in the Midlands, revealed this week that her chin isn't the only thing to be covered in unsightly hair - she also has a healthy pair of hairy testicles! The secret was blown on Monday when, as the circus...
Read full storyDoctor Who Star David Tennant To Return To His Porn Film Roots
David Tennant, the star of Doctor Who, is to leave the show and return to the scene where he first made his mark in showbusiness - the Porn Industry. Tennant, who has played the Doctor for three series, was seen injured by a single shot from a Dal...
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Deny 'Naked' And 'Sex' Claims
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, angry at claims on a satirical news website that they are to perform naked, and are to simulate live sex scenes at halftime, have issued a statement to the effect that the claim is
Read full storyNew Olympic Sport: Face Sitting
This year's Chinese Olympics are to be graced with a new sport that not many people have heard about - the Face Sitting Marathon.
Read full storyChild Protective Services Investigates New Mother Jamie Lynn Spears
Jamie Lynn Spears, former star of Zoey 101 and the latest teenage mother in the South, is under investigation already by child protective services for treatment of her three week old child. Maddie Briann Aldridge, daughter of Spears and fiance C...
Read full storyLarge Hardon Collider Ready to Test Theories of Condom Mechanics
Scientists are near to beginning tests with the Large Hardon Collider, located on the Swiss-French border. The collider, which will feature male porn stars from around the world, will be used to test the strength and properties of new condom materia...
Read full storyMcDonalds Opens Store In New York City For Only Halal Food
McDonalds fast food organisation has opened its first store in New York that will sell only Halal Food. They have made two delicous new burgers made with Halal meat called the McHal and the McLamb. The McHal will cost only 99c and comes with a gau...
Read full storyPrince Harry In Prince Albert Cock Shock
Prince Harry, the brave soldier brought home from Afghanistan because it wasn't dangerous enough for him, is to have his penis pierced, in what has become known as Prince Albert style.
Read full storyHulk Hogan daughter offered $5 million for naked centerfold spread
Los Angeles - (Bare Ass Mess): Luscious blonde stunner Brooke Hogan has been offered $5 million to pose in the nude for the LA FagHagSlagMag Xmas issue.
Read full storyResearchers Learn that "Wrangler Butts" Really Can Drive Women Nuts
Research conducted at the American Fashion Institute, in conjunction with the Psychology Department at Colorado State University, determined that the expression "Wrangler Butts Drive Me Nuts" is true; women really are turned on more by men...
Read full storyMiss Universe To Pose Nude
Caracas Venezuela-- The Miss Universe pageant was held over the weekend in this capital city. Contestants came from all over the world and even from other planets. A contestant from the Triffid Nebula was crowned Miss Universe.
Read full storyAmy Winehouse Afflicted With Morgellons Disease
London-- Singer Amy Winehouse is afflicted with the mysterious Morgellons Disease according to her father. She contracted the disease late last year from her incarcerated boyfriend. Most cases are a caused by chem trails or other secret government p...
Read full storyGay Nudist Colony Opens
Provo Utah: The National Association of Gay Spouses (NAGS) announced today that a gay nudist colony, "Omega" has opened in this very conservative city.
Read full storyGlobal Warming and Penis Size
New York NY, July 2008: A study conducted by the United Nations (UN) Committee on Global Warming has concluded that global warming (GW) affects penis size.
Read full storyDemi Lovato and Joe Jonas involved in a love triangle!
Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas, stars of Camp Rock, have been entangled in a love triangle! This love triangle started when, Demi and Joe made sparks fly during filming, then suddenly a Christopher R. Hafman, shoots out of nowhere and starts wooing Demi,...
Read full storyRed Hot Sex Now Dividing New York Yankees' Superstar A-Rod and Gorgeous Blond Trophy Wife, Cynthia
It sounds awfully familiar, but yesterday, Superstar New York Yankees' third baseman, Alex Rodriguez, known by all as A-Rod, claimed, "I did not have sex with that woman." But this time, it was unequivocal, as opposed to ex-President Cl...
Read full storyNintendo announces controversial Wii Adult video game
Nintendo proudly announced its newest Addition to its popular top selling Wii gaming system Thursday.
Read full storyPresident Bush Hairdresser Discovers "666" Tattoo On His Scalp
President George Bush fell into a new controversy this week when during a haircut at the White House, his personal hairdresser, Rebecca Goodgrip, discovered a previously unnoticed tattoo on his scalp bearing t...
Read full storyParis Hilton Starts Large Hadron Collider Today
Berne Switzerland-- Paris Hilton will have the honour of starting the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) this afternoon. The multi-talented heiress designed the atom smasher. It will test her theories on the multiverse and dark matter. Ms. Hilton's IQ i...
Read full storyPrince Harry's Girlfriend Chelsy Davy Seen Mounting A Stallion
You definitely would not see this at Ascot, Cheltenham or Aintree, forty men running naked at bizarre race meeting.
Read full story'Daniel Radcliffe Is Shorter In Real Life' Says Emma Watson
Emma Watson, child star of the 'Harry Potter' films reveals all about the time that Daniel Radcliffe,18, tried to 'seduce her.
Read full storyStudy finds hot women are more fun to study
A latest study on scientists studying women found that hot women were more fun to study. The study has been a part of an ongoing effort to discover the secrets of successful hot women.
Read full storyVictoria Pendleton To Ride In Olympics In Her Birthday Suit
Victoria Pendleton, the world, British and Commonwealth cycling sprint champion, has said that she intends to compete in this summer's Beijing Olympic cycling events in the nude, apart from her helmet.
Read full storyBig Brother Rebecca Survives Despite Her Fat Legs And Saggy Tits
Big Brother Rebecca, or Bex, or Rebecca, come to think of it, has survived tonight's latest round of evictions despite her fat legs, saggy tits and spontaneous outbursts of ridiculous childish an...
Read full storyLarge Hadron Collider switched on - doomsday imminent
The CERN Large Hadron Collider (LHC) has been switched on miles underneath the Franco-Swiss border.
Read full storyNelena Caught!
ORLANDO - Today in Orlando, at the Disney Channel Games finale, Selena Gomez and Jonas Brothers' Nick Jonas were found in an embrace. I kid you not!...
Read full storyOlympic Diver Tom Daley In Danger Of Burn-out - He's Only 14!
Olympic diver Tom Daley is being counselled by health experts from the British Olympic Association on the eve of the Beijing Games, because it's been suggested that the lad might already be suffering from stress related to his Olympic selection at su...
Read full storyVietnamese hex blamed as Miss USA falls on her ass during Miss Universe pageant
Nha Trang, Vietnam - (Sore Ass Mess): The Curse of Agent Orange was blamed today as comely Texan Crystal Stewart tripped and fell flat on her ass during the Miss Universe pageant in Vietnam today.
Read full storyNicole Kidman Appears In Hot New YouTube Video Stroking Her Pussy
A sensational video of Hollywood actress Nicole Kidman stroking her pussy has appeared on the YouTube web site.
Read full storyAngelina's Newborn Twins Marry Each Other
Padua Italy -- The newborn twins of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie married each other in a bizarre wedding ceremony early today. The 4-day old twins, Knox and Vivienne, were paid $1 billion each for the wedding photos.
Read full storyMax Mosley behind launch of Gates McFadden-lookalike inflatable S&M Doll
London - (Depraved Ass Mess): Nazi orgy nutter Max Mosley is believed to be the backer behind the launch of a new inflatable S&M Barbie Doll which bears an uncanny resemblance to Gates McFadden, the firey-haired Star Trek Generations actress...
Read full storyDesperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton SO embarrasing says royal wedding bride
London - (Ass Mess): As she swept up the aisle of the Queen's Chapel on the arm of her father the Duke of Gloucester today radiant-looking bride Lady Rose Windsor was heard stifling a cringeing gasp at the sight of desperate royal clinger-on Kate...
Read full storyLingerie Company Introduces JonBenet Line For Little Girls
After being cleared of murdering their daughter by DNA evidence ten years after the fact, the Ramsey's have contracted with a leading lingerie retailer to introduce a JonBenet line for little girls. Mr. John Ramsey said that "everyone knows that w...
Read full storyWomen have same effect as Viagra
New research has discovered that women have the same effect as Viagra on males. Research at the Centre of Masculine Health has been studying the effect of women on men for many decades now.
Read full storyDavid Tennant Mobbed At Stratford Hamlet
David Tennant, the Doctor Who actor, was given a rousing reception and mobbed by fans yesterday at the Courtyard Theatre in Stratford, where he is appearing in the RSC production of Shakespeare's Hamlet.
Read full storySpongebob Squarepants not Shrek's father!
Spongebob Squarepants denies claim of fathering Miss Piggy's lovechild known as Shrek. "OK, I had a few drinks that night, and Piggy spent the night. Besides, Patrick and Kermit where there the whole time."...
Read full storyZac Efron and Miley Cyrus caught cheating...again
Everyone knows how close Zac Efron and his girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens are to be right? Well, that was not the case this past Saturday.
Read full storyWatermelon is the poor man's Viagra turning your ED Wilbur Willie into Mr. Ed
Washington, DC - Convinced that a man having to suffer ED was just as unbearable and unnecessary as a child having to suffer from ADD, a small group of scientists dedicated themselves to finding a cheaper and equally effective alternative to the chem...
Read full storyNew DNA Research Shows Irish Are Neanderthals
Philadelphia PA-- Stunning new research from a major university here is sending shockwaves throughout the world. DNA sequencing of Neanderthal bone marrow indicates "man's cousin" never went extinct. They are the Irish.
Read full storyBig Brother's Rebecca banned from stripping
The House of Commons has rushed through legislation banning Big Brother housemate Rebecca Shiner from constantly showing off her flabby baps.
Read full story41 Year Old Woman Qualifies For Olympics
41 year old swimmer Dara Torres has been to every Olympics but 2004 since 1984. She just qualified again for the 2008 games in China and will probably swim in three different events (and should medal in at least two of them).
Read full storyPamela Anderson Banned From Algeria
Pamela Anderson the celebrity has been banned from visiting Algeria after lots of the people complained that her breasts are too big to visit an Islamic state. Miss Anderson wanted to spend her holidays at the seaside resort of Zeralda but many to...
Read full storyWe Can Make Invisible Things Invisible, Scientist Says
(Durham, NC) - Leading scientists in the field of Non-Newtonian Non-Sense Gobbledygook reported today that Harry Potter's invisibility cloak may be right around the corner, with one researcher at Duke University going so far as to say that
Read full storyHigh School Musical star Pregnant
Vanessa Hudgens yesterday confirmed rumors that she is four months pregnant, in a vivid dream I was having.
Read full storyEco-Town To Be Twinned With LazyTown
One of the new government-planned Eco-Towns is to be built near to the site of the kids BBC settlement, LazyTown, and will be twinned with it, says a report.
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Twins Look Like Arabs
The movie star Angelina Jolie has given birth to twin children in France but the kids look like they have an Arabic father possibly after Miss Jolie went to Algeria last October.
Read full storyHistorians Learn that Napoleon Had Fifteen Inch Penis
Researchers at the Graduate School for French History in Paris have learned that Napoleon Bonaparte had a previously unknown fifteen inch long (while flacid) penis. This was discovered when early tin and glass photographs of Napolean and Josephine w...
Read full storyNew Saxophone hero game released
In response to the overwhelming popularity of games like Guitar Hero, Sony released Saxophone Hero. This weekend saw lines stretching for miles at local electronics stores as the new game hit shelves.
Read full storyNoel Fielding To Shave Head
Noel Fielding, co-creator of 'The Mighty Boosh' is to shave his head for charity.
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Endorses John McCain
15-year-old Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus announced today that she endorses Arizona Senator John McCain to be the next president of the United States.
Read full storyNew Harry Potter Film Full of Drugs, Sex and Rock and Roll
I was under the illusion that although the highly popular Harry Potter books did feature a hell of a lot of dark magic and unsavoury characters, it was a children's book series and therefore the film interpretation of it would be suitable for you...
Read full storyDisabled Models Compete in "Britains Next Top Cripple."
"Britains Next Top Cripple" has emerged as a surprise ratings hit for the BBC after last nights revealing episode where eight beautiful, feisty, women hopped, tottered and wheeled their way down the catwalk competing for the coveted title a...
Read full storyGay Snooker Player Refuses 'Easy Brown' For 'Loose Pink'
The favourite, and world number 3, Crispin Poofe, caused controversy at the Gay World Snooker Championships today, when, during the players' interval, he astonished his fans by refusing to pot an easy brown in favour of a...
Read full storyOrigin of "Cock-block" discovered
Science weekly - Scientists unearthed last week what they believed to be the origin of the first ever "cock-block". The remains of 3 "cavemen like" individuals where found near the Euphrates river in the Middle East. One was found...
Read full storyAustrian incest nutter Fritzl demands Lucrezia Borgia-style trial by ecclesiastical court
Amstetten, Austria - (Lurid Ass Mess): Lawyers acting for Austrian incest addict Joseph Fritzl have played the Lucrezia Borgia card after receiving an anonymous $500,000 bung from followers of the Grail Family Movement cult.
Read full storyUFO that destroyed Rev Sun Myung Moon's chopper blamed for Quaintarse jumbo prang
Manila, Philippines - (Extraterrestrial Mess): Aviation inspectors are probing reports that a menacing UFO which destroyed the Rev Sun Myung Moon's helicopter last weekend has struck again causing a giant hole in the fuselage of a Melbourne bound...
Read full storyNASA 'ballistic' as Apollo 14 astronut blames Challenger Shuttle disaster on rogue UFO
Cape Canaveral - (Dark Side of the Moon Mess): Furious NASA officials have said Apollo 14 moonwalker Edgar Mitchell is 'away with the fairies' after he told reporters a rogue UFO was probably behind the Challenger Space Shuttle disas...
Read full storyDiet Ice Cubes Very Popular
Springfield PA-- The latest diet craze, diet ice cubes, is a big seller at the Poke N Toke Grocery Store in Springfield. The tiny ice cubes cost $10.00 for a dozen and the store sells thousands a day. The ice cubes have zero calories and no cholester...
Read full storyWife of Nazi S&M orgy nutter Max Mosley urged to play the Sonia Sutcliffe card
London - (Brazen Ass Mess): The wife of fetid Nazi S&M orgy nutter Max Mosley has told pals she'll sue the arse off anybody saying she always knew her husband of 50 years was a sordid pervert unable to have normal sex without indulging in violent...
Read full storyAlgerian Marathon Runner Is Favorite To Win Olympic Marathon
The Algerian Olympic marathon runner Ald Orrzak Ziane is the favorite to win the race in the Beijing Games. To get ready for his marathon race he has already set off to run there.
Read full storyMan allowed to keep lottery ticket he found in street
Matthew Streetwalker, a retired florist from Stretford in Manchester was thrilled with the news that the police and the Camelot lottery people have allowed him to keep the lottery ticket he found at his local bus station earlier today.
Read full storyKeith Richards Is A Vampire
New Yawk NY-- Keith Richards, famed guitarist for The Rolling Stones, said today he died in 1969 and is a vampire. The rock legend says he died from a drug overdose during the notorious Altamont Concert. A vampire fan jumped up on stage and helped hi...
Read full storyThe Hamburglar and Grimace Get Arrested
The infamous hamburger thief, known on the streets as "The Hamburglar," was finally tracked down and arrested, late Saturday night, in what was initially a mere traffic stop in suburban New York.
Read full storyBrad and Angelina Nearly Come To Blows At Discovery Twins Look Like Billy Bob Thornton and Jennifer Aniston
Hollywood mega-stars and U.N. parents of the year Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie nearly came to blows when they discovered that their newborn twins closely resemble their ex-lovers, Jennifer Aniston and Billy Bob Thornton. The newborns, who refused to...
Read full storyJayden James Is Justin Timberlake's Only Love Child
Secret DNA tests, carried out by me in my bedroom, have proved conclusively that the father of Jayden James, Britney Spears' second child, is, in fact, Justin Timberlake, Britney's childhood sweetheart.
Read full storyBrad Pitt Confused By African-American Newborn Twins
Padua Italy-- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt welcomed the birth of healthy twins over the weekend. The babies are beautiful but don't look anything like Brad. Both twins are blessed with chocolate coloured skin, kinky black hair and almond shaped...
Read full storyBig Brother Maysoon Speaks Arabic - Run For Your Lives!
Big Brother introduced three new housemates last night, all of them female, but none was as glamorous or 'interesting' as Maysoon, a 28-year-old model, who speaks Arabic, which is worrying.
Read full storyFreddie Mac And Fannie Mae Collapse; Bush Speaks Out
There was shock and astonishment in the New York's Wall Street financial sector yesterday, as two of its most renowned and important figures, Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae took a tumble, prompting US President Georg...
Read full storyWhere Will They Be In 15 Years Time?
At the moment Hollywood is filled with rising stars who aren't even old enough to drink. Kids like Miley Cyrus and Dakota Fanning are children who who have become household names, but has anyone wondered what their future will hold?...
Read full storyGuitar Hero World Tour to include Barack Obama
The long awaited Guitar Hero: World Tour game hits the shelves soon and will surprise users by giving them the option to play as Barack Obama.
Read full storyJohn McCain Gives Thumbs Up To Miley Cyrus' "Breakout"
(Knoxville-TN) Republican Presidential nominee John McCain made what some think is his most telling statement to capture the young vote. It regarded the star of Disney's mega-popular "Hannah Montana" TV franchise, Miley...
Read full storyFrank Lampard: Charity Saint
Frank Lampard has revealed to respected German Newspaper Wunter Under Meijer that he founded his own charity after receiving his first payslip from West Ham. Lampard took a moment to put down the Pukka Pies and go into detail with
Read full storyCookie Monster dies of Heart Attack
The entertainment world today collectively mourned the passing of a giant of children's television - Cookie Monster. Cookie was found slumped on the floor in his kitchen, after apparently suffering a massive heart attack. He was 57.
Read full storyFidel Castro in Guantanamo hostage plea
Former Cuban president Fidel Castro has called on the American government to free all of its hostages.
Read full storyFootball declared as the National Sport of Ireland
Football (No Irish lad would say Soccer) has been finally officially declared the national sport of Ireland.
Read full storyBrett Favre Officially Out of Retirement
Brett Favre, the former quarterback for the Green Bay Packers who retired at the end of the season, officially unretired himself at at press conference today. Favre, who just had his most (and only) productive season of the last five, said that he &...
Read full storyWhitey Bolger FOUND on Cape Cod!
The FBI confirmed today a recent video taken in Italy really IS Whitey Bulger, the long missing Boston mobster with ties to the state house AND The White House and that he's been living on the Cape and been on the State payroll since 1991! Whit...
Read full story'Tramp' sells life for £35,000
A 'traveller' living in a wet house in North London has agreed a bid of more than £35,000 after putting his "entire life" up for sale following a downturn in fortunes that saw him spiral out of control. Street drinker John Marshall,...
Read full storyAlgerian Immigrants Return To Algeria From UK
In Oran harbour this morning a boat with almost two hundred people arrived back from Great Britain. The people on the boat said they had been in Britain for only three weeks but they couldn't stay there any longer.
Read full story7 Things, Nick's Feelings
LOS ANGELES - Today I caught up with one of the newest teen hearthrobs Nick Jonas, of the Jonas Brothers.
Read full storyCrisis in Algeria as Price of Camels Rises
In the beautiful North African country of Algeria the government is saying that the price of camels has risen to its highest price ever because of the credit crisis.
Read full storyAnheuser-Busch merger with InBev sparks riots
Hundreds of multi-colored 1980's T-top Camaro's, rusty pickup trucks and Mullet wearing trailer park folks have packed the streets of St Louis after Anheuser-Busch Announced its intent to Merge with InBev. Angry mobs have been protesting ou...
Read full storySuits Of Armour Go On Sale In Harrods
The shocking rise of Knife Crime in Britain is having a direct effect on the retail sector, it has been claimed, with world-famous Harrods of London being the first retailer to introduce Suits of Armour in its Autum...
Read full storyRecently Qualified First-Aider Longing for Workplace Emergency
A week after completing a three day government-approved training course in Corporate First Aid and Health and Safety, Jeff Birks, a Junior Credit Controller for InfoTech Systems Inc., expressed frustration that he had yet to be called into action.
Read full storyU.S Army unviels new Blackhawk Helicopter
Fort Campbell, KY - Today the U.S Army unveiled its newest Helicopter, the UH-60M. The "Mike model," as its affectionately known among those who fly it, will replace its aging Fleet of UH-60A/L model Aircraft Which first entered service in...
Read full story"Zimbabwe's Got Talent" Won By Robert Mugabe
The African TV talent show Zimbabwe's Got Talent has been won by the crackpot out-of-control dictator Dr Robert Mugabe. Mugabe won the contest by a landslide after he polled 108% of the 20 million votes cast, with his incredibly stirring rendition...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse's hair extentions harvested from corpse
London - (Ass Mess): Camden Town residents are gobsmacked after a local grave robber admitted supplying Bong 'n' Spliff Superstars Hair Salon with tresses harvested from a corpse in Golders Green Cemetery that then ended up on singer...
Read full storyLorena Bobbit Franchises New Business
Lorena Bobbit has been out of the public spotlight for several years since her famous scuffle with her ex-husband ended with police searching a vacant lot for his severed penis. The former criminal (charge with a felony, as she could not be charged...
Read full storySian Lloyd Admitted To Hospital With Laughing Fit
TV weather-girl Sian Lloyd was today rushed in to a London hospital after being taken ill at her North London home. Doctors described her condition as "serious but stable" after she was admitted in a state of disarray, reportedly shrieking...
Read full storyParis Hilton Almost Bankrupt
Hotel heiress Paris Hilton,27, has finally acheived the impossible, and has almost bankrupted her parents, owners of the Hilton Hotels. Party-loving Paris has 17 pets including a chihuahua named Tinkerbell abnd two ferrets named Dolce and Gabbana, co...
Read full storyGeorge Bush enters Alcohol rehabilitation facility after strip-club binge
Washington - U.S President George w. Bush has entered a Washington DC area rehab facility after crowds of onlookers where shocked to see the president carried from a local Texas strip club.
Read full story"Don't Worry, Be Happy"
With the USA stock market falling into pre-2000 anti-millenium numbers, while the World economy bumble-clunks into stagflation, & the jobs market as well as unemployment sink into negatives not seen since the Great Recession, 1981-83, visited upon ma...
Read full storyRoman ships could not sail against the tide, American historians claim
New research from American scientists has suggested that Romans could not sail against the tide in their ships, and that the dates attributed to their 55 BC landings in southern England are wrong.
Read full storyChurch Bans Sexual Intercourse
Amidst growing concerns that Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are on a rise, the Vatican has decided to do away with sexual intercourse itself. This new directive shall ensure that the previous directives banning contraception remain in place.
Read full storyKen Dodd In New Wage Claim From Diddymen
Ken Dodd, the toothy Scouse comedian and cleared tax dodger, has entered into a war of words with his ex-employess, the Diddymen, over unpaid wages amounting to several thousand pounds. Dodd, now 80, is alleged to have reneged on payment of the...
Read full story'Pregnant Man' Thomas Beatie to sell newborn for $1 million
Thomas Beatie, the 34-year-old delusional attention-whore who made international headlines and a six-figure book deal by reporting himself as 'a pregnant man' on the Oprah show, has now listed his newborn on eBay with a starting bid of $50, 0...
Read full storyMG Rover to buy Ford & General Motors
As it seems certain that Ford and General Motors may become bankrupt in the next few months, former bankrupt's MG Rover look certain to buy out the two failing western car manufacturers and move them to China.
Read full story