Hollywood mega-stars and U.N. parents of the year Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie nearly came to blows when they discovered that their newborn twins closely resemble their ex-lovers, Jennifer Aniston and Billy Bob Thornton. The newborns, who refused to comment from their cribs in France for this article, are supposedly the offspring of Brangelina.
From his home in Texas, Billy Bob replied with a hearty, "Hot damn, took enough time for her to spit that one out."
Aniston, making a movie in California, said that "Now, Bennifer really is a part of Brangelina."
When asked how this was possible, California genetics expert Dr. Johannes Gould replied that "Hollywood is almost as inbred as the European Royal Families. In another generation, you will be able to change the name of Beverly Hills to West Little Rock."
Brad and Angelina were not available for comment, as they were riding a dogsled in remote Alaska to travel to the village of Gushuntoo (translated as Cold Seal Blubber) to pick up a new orphan for adoption.
Witnesses who saw them before they departed the area, however, said that their "snowball fight got really vicious and they were also throwing icicles."
