Historians Learn that Napoleon Had Fifteen Inch Penis

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Sunday, 6 July 2008

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"He kept his package in his shirt for easy access."

Researchers at the Graduate School for French History in Paris have learned that Napoleon Bonaparte had a previously unknown fifteen inch long (while flacid) penis. This was discovered when early tin and glass photographs of Napolean and Josephine were discovered by archaeologists digging underneath a former Paris whorehouse.

Said visiting professor Dolph Schmiddt of Bonn, "no wonder Josephine is always seen smiling and happy in all of the paintings."

This also answers the mystery of why Napoleon's hand was always inside of his jacket. "He wasn't trying to hide a hand malady or scratch an itch or rest a broken arm in a shirt sling. He was playing pocket pool a little farther north. He kept his package in his shirt for easy access!"

"It is also obvious that Bonaparte really wasn't your average Frog. With equipment like that, he was probably one real horny toad."

Napoleon is now being referred to in Paris as the "original French Tickler."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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