Researchers Learn that "Wrangler Butts" Really Can Drive Women Nuts

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Sunday, 6 July 2008

image for Researchers Learn that "Wrangler Butts" Really Can Drive Women Nuts
Their butts really drive 'em nuts

Research conducted at the American Fashion Institute, in conjunction with the Psychology Department at Colorado State University, determined that the expression "Wrangler Butts Drive Me Nuts" is true; women really are turned on more by men in tight Wrangler brand jeans than by men in any other brand of denim pants.

In a double blind study, students and employees at the three largest Colorado Universities (University of Colorado, Colorado State University, and The Air Force Academy) were observed as male models walked through their campuses in Wrangler, Levi (501, 505, and other styles), Lee, Designer, and store brand jeans. Visible reactions were seen 82% more often in men wearing Wrangler denims.

Professor Alex Spark commented that "at first we thought it was possibly because most men in designer jeans are obvious faggots, and women tend not to give them a second look. Obviously heterosexual males in Wranglers, however, still received the largest number of stares and continued looks from women and gay males. This was well over the percentages of men in other western cut jeans such as Levi Strauss and Lee Riders."

The next round of research hooked volunteers up to equipment to test temperature, respiration rate, crotch moisture, and heart rate (male homosexuals were also tested on erection response). Once again, test subjects reacted more strongly to men in Wrangler brand pants than others. This was true even when the brand name of the pants was concealed.

"Women showed heightened sexual tension and awareness and were really focused on the men in Wrangler jeans. A few would begin rubbing themselves, even the female Air Force Academy Cadets (who you would have thought would be more restrained and disciplined).

When asked how this research would affect people, Dr. Spark was not sure. "I know that I am never wearing any other kind of pants again. After I shared my findings with my wife, however, she threw away all of my new Wranglers and bought me some designer garbage at Old Navy."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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