Sunday, 13 July 2008

image for Lingerie Company Introduces JonBenet Line For Little Girls
Lace panties for little girls who want to feel grown up, by Victoria's Secret

After being cleared of murdering their daughter by DNA evidence ten years after the fact, the Ramsey's have contracted with a leading lingerie retailer to introduce a JonBenet line for little girls.

Mr. John Ramsey said that "everyone knows that we loved to dress our little girl up as a tart, and that all little girls want to look pretty and grown up. That's why we are creating a line of fancy and frilly little undergarments for the future Jon Benets of the world."

Mrs. Patsy Ramsey was equally excited. "All little girls know where Mommy keeps that special set of bra and panties, or teddy, or sleeper in their drawer. It is the one with the perfumed sachet that makes them smell so good. We are coming out with smaller sizes of all of Mommy's lingerie, to help make all of the little girls look and feel grown up, just like we made Jon Benet look grown up."

She continued by saying, "All little girls do not want pictures of the Little Mermaid or Strawberry Shortcake or Spongebob on their panties. They also like things that are sheer and lacey and just a little bit see through. We are trying to meet that need."

Olivia Marks, representative of Lacey Underthings, announced that the clothing line will be marketed as the "JonBenet Collection by Little Miss Vicky." She added that "We all know that little girls are always bending over and everyone is always seeing their panties. Shouldn't those panties be something sexy and more memorable than just a cartoon character?"

The new styles will be prevented at a special preview fashion show in the ballroom of the downtown Hilton Hotel. Models will be 5 to 8 years old. Pedophiles and other men coming alone are requested to wear raincoats and provide their own tissue and vaseline.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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