Written by Fish

Thursday, 10 July 2008

image for Paris Hilton Starts Large Hadron Collider Today
The Genius

Berne Switzerland-- Paris Hilton will have the honour of starting the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) this afternoon. The multi-talented heiress designed the atom smasher. It will test her theories on the multiverse and dark matter. Ms. Hilton's IQ is well over 1,000,000.

"I can't wait to see what happens!" laughed the sultry blonde as she arrived at the test center. "Fractal reality reacting with string theory in eleven dimensions is my only real concern. There is a slight possibility branes colliding with vibrating null time could offset the dark energy fields. Let's find out!" laughed the silly siren.

All eyes were on the beautiful genius as she walked to the command centre to begin the experiment. The scientists designed a big red button for Paris to push to begin the LHC. She turned to address the anxious scientists.

"We all live in multidimensional realities constantly colliding with one another, as you know. When I was talking with Stephen (Hawking) earlier today he mentioned the LHC could open up a portal into these different realms of existence. There may even be a reality where I am a dim-witted bozo--a reality where someone like George Bush is president and oil is over $100.00 a barrel!"

The crowd of scientists laughed out loud with Paris at the absurd idea. Paris pushed the big red button and...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
72 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more