The Spoof stems incursion of offensive material
What might be called a denial of service attack by writers for TheSpoof.com, countless articles on potentially banned topics have been submitted to the site.
Read full storyBoscastle Floods Again - Public Loses Interest
The Cornish fishing village of Boscastle has once again been hit by devastating floods which have washed away cars, homes, villages and once again, the Post Office cat.
Read full storyBig Brother Liam Wins Enough Money to Buy Newcastle
In a startling twist to the Big Brother saga one lucky housemate became the recipient of £100,000 pounds yesterday-on a whim!...
Read full storyWest Midlands Police Hunt For Missing Flying Pig
Police are urgently appealing for any information whatsoever after several kids in a phonebox rang through and reported seeing a flying pig over Birmingham this afternoon.
Read full story"The Spoof" Sale In Doubt
An agreed sale of Web newspaper "The Spoof" to a consortium of its top writers is in danger of collapsing.
Read full storySenator Ted Stevens named Godfather of Corrupt Bastards Club
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Mystery stil surrounds the enigma of how Alaska's Senator Ted Stevens became the Corrupt Bastards Club official Godfather despite a rash of news coverage in the US this week focusing on "an embittered psychopath w...
Read full storyCherie Blair hired by lapdancing club
London - (Ass Mess): Cherie Blair has been hired by the Spearmint Rhino lapdancing club according to reports claiming she has shed 50lbs off her ass and had a face transplant.
Read full storyBush Wants To Run Again In 2008
(MUSICMAN PRESS) George W. Bush looks to make history, again. Mr. President announced today his interest in running for President once more, in 2008.
Read full storyShock: Two Women Detained In "Cigarette City"
CONSTITUTION, SC - Otherwise known as "Cigarette City" by its locals because of the city's ban on non-smokers in its restaurants and bars, Constitution, SC has become a haven for free-thinkers and constitutionalists from across the coun...
Read full storyParis Hilton is Home Free... Again!
(MUSICMAN PRESS) Pop icon and celebrity Paris Whitney Hilton 20, was released from prison yesterday on the grounds that she had an unmentioned medical complication that prohibited her from serving the remainder of her sentence, of forty-five days. Hi...
Read full storyMilitary's meditation program under fire for brainwashing
Implemented in 1992 to accomodate soldiers complaining of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the Army's Relaxing Environmental Visualization (REV) program proved effective at reducing the horrible flashbacks and other symptoms.
Read full storyProtesting without, er, protesting
Campaigners failed to stage a stunt in front of the Queen when nine arrests were made before Trooping the Colour.
Read full storyGeneral: Army's new uniforms gonna kick butt
Soldiers of the future should get used to breathing filtered air. Air quality in war zones has grown to debilitating levels due to radioactive materials from allied ordnance.
Read full storyCommunity service may be completed in Iraq
Judges have been given the go ahead to give defendents receiving more than 100 hours of community service the option of being shipped to Iraq to complete their sentence. Other charges and fines may also be dropped or greatly reduced.
Read full storyU.S. backyard birds on decline-shot down 50%
Based on a new National Audubon Society study, twenty of the most common North American birds, such as the field sparrow, snow bunting, meadowlark, Northern bobwhite, and whippoorwill, are drastically dead.
Read full storyParis Hilton's Release Monday, Neighbors Brace for Impact
Paris Hilton is set to be released on Monday from the Lynwood Correctional Facility where she's been doing her time.
Read full storyChina new Long March rocket to increase to 15 inches
World News (China desk)-- The China National Space Administration (CNSA) announced Monday, June 21, 2007, that its series of Long March rockets would increase from 9.5 to 15 inches.
Read full storySymbian Trojan Sends Premature Ejaculation SMS
SophosLabs has warned Nokia Series 60 and other Symbian mobile device users of a Trojan that sends a premature ejaculation SMS to a user every 15 seconds.
Read full storyPaparazzi Seek Psycho Help Over Paris
The paparazzi pack is hurting, and hurting bad. Many have sought psychotherapy to help them cope with NPPS -- 'No Paris Photo Syndrome.'...
Read full storyNo one farts at Google
With various organisations and nations setting goals for reducing their carbon footprint over a period of years or even decades, Google is getting stuck in with a plan to achieve carbon neutrality in six months...
Read full storyIndians use old chip shop oil to power cellphone network
Ericsson and Indian cellular network operator, Idea Cellular, have built four cellular base stations powered by generators running off 'biodiesel', fuel locally produced from old cooking oil from chip shops.
Read full storyPortuguese international star Deco could be going to newly promoted Sunderland FC
Reports from Sunderland FC claims that Portuguese midfielder, Deco, could be playing in a red and white shirt next season.
Read full storyESA needs guinea pigs for Mars trip
Today (EST)--Europa News-- The European Space Agency is calling for guinea pigs to take part in a trip to Mars.
Read full storyDemand for iPhone 26 strong in US, UK and iPod base
Apple would be well justified in anticipating a successful iPhone launch based on new survey. According to Seattle-based mobiles market analyst firm M:Metrics, as many as 19 Americans would be interested in owning an iPhone.
Read full storyBritish sex workers healthier plying their trade in neighbours homes
British sex workers have been told to get off the streets and into their neighbours homes, when the neighbours are out.
Read full storyNew computer operating system finally given a name
It was announced today by the "insanely successful"(c) American based software company, Conngianulated Software(tm) or as it's more popularly known ConnSoft(tm) had finally decided on a name for it's next version of its "non monopolistic and open source" (tm) operating system...
Read full storyWal-Mart Buys Mexico
Mexico City) - Giant retailer, Wal-Mart, has acquired the country of Mexico for the retail price of $7.88 (163 pesos).
Read full storyPrescott Named Fattest
Today, it was announced that deputy PM and happy shopper lard spokesman John Prescott was named "World's Fattest Northerner", beating Cyril Smith, Chubby Brown and a capsized blue whale found near Barnsley.
Read full storyMyMossad Monthly goes topless
Tel Aviv - (Ass Mess): The Israeli security/intelligence service in-house journal MyMossad Monthly has gone topless in a recruitment drive to attract a beefier type of male into the renowned spooks' agency.
Read full storyAnna Nicole Smith death-room 'was hexed by shaman'
Miami - (Rioters): The Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino room where ill-fated Playboy centerfold Anna Nicole Smith met her untimely death in February this year may have been hexed by a shaman according to new evidence.
Read full storyNew Cameron documentary to reveal Holy Grail's burial secrets
Rome - (Rotters): Tomb of Jesus documentary maker James Cameron has been commissioned to film excavations for the Holy Grail - the wine goblet allegedly used by Jesus at the Last Supper - which an Italian archaeologist claims is buried under the 6th...
Read full storyCourt rules the dead can incorporate
San Francisco - In a mixed decision a Federal court decided yesterday that a person can have the same rights as a corporation, setting up likely conflicts for years to come. The ruling "attempts to right the imbalance of power c...
Read full storyAndy Murray A Certainty For Wimbledon, And Will Win, Says Coach Brad Gilbert
Andy Murray will definitely play at Wimbledon, and stands as good a chance of winning the Men's Singles title as anyone else, says his coach.
Read full storyNot enough Polish Nazis in EU claims Kaczynski
Warsaw - (Ass Mess): Poland's Prime Monster Jaroslaw Kaczynski has complained bitterly that assorted European Union Nazis and fascists outgun Polish right wing bastards 5-1 in the European Union and that it's all Adolf Hitler's fault.
Read full storyBeware of Deadly Beach Sand Holes
According a recent report in the "New England Journal of Medicine" more people have been killed at beaches by sand holes than by sharks.
Read full storyDeclined Credit Cards Could Land You in Jail
(Crappers) New federal law now sign by the president makes attempted purchases with declined cards a felony. Now, shopping at any store and pay with worthless plastic cards, or rubber checks will bring out the store security. Arrests will be made and...
Read full storyVideo simulates 9/11 attacks
A research team at Purdue University has developed a 3D simulation of the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Center. Their research is a culmination of a 2 1/2 year study into the attacks with the hope of aiding engineers in the design of safer...
Read full storyWhat's in it for you, Carter?
Former American and one time President Jimmy Carter is now a spokesman for Hamas.
Read full storyGarlic - Cure for Aids?
Santosh-nagar (Bum-Bay): After years of research and much hard work, the Indian AIDS (Acquired Intestinal Disorder Syndrome) Ass-ociation (IAA) has approved a much widely used "medicine" as the cure for AIDS.
Read full storyWho is the real Geoffrey Archer
24 May 2007 Geoffrey Archer Via Email Dear Sir I am your biggest fan and have read all of your books. Not...
Read full storyMoney spinner
21 June 2007 Alan Johnson Secretary of State for Education and Skills Department for Education and Skills Sanctuary Buildin...
Read full storyAmorous Bulldog
12 June 2007 John Prescott Office of the Deputy Prime Minister 26 Whitehall London SW1A 2WH England D...
Read full storyGlobal warming scares
14 June 2007 Purbeck District Council Westport House Worgret Road Wareham Dorset BH20 4PP Dear Sir
Read full storyJustice? What justice?
20 June 2007 Charles Falconer Ministry of Justice Selborne House 54 Victoria Street London SW1E 6QW Dea...
Read full storyThe Falcon has Landed
1 June 2007 Charles Leslie Falconer The Lord Chancellor, Baron Falconer of Thoroton, PC, QC The Lord Chancellor's Office
Read full storyBBC Fat Cats on Weed?
20 June 2007 Lorraine Heggessey British Broadcasting Corporation 20 - 21 Newman Street London W1T 1PG England
Read full storyOctogenarians Unite
20 June 2007 Test Valley Borough Council Beech Hurst Weyhill Road Andover Hampshire SP10 3AJ Dear Sir
Read full storyTough lie in the rough
12 June 2007 The English Golf Union The National Golf Centre Woodhall Spa Lincolnshire LN10 6PU England
Read full storyLingerie Man Rejects MBE Offer
Joseph Corre, the co-founder of the lingerie brand Agent Provocateur, has refused to accept his MBE, saying that he finds Prime Minister Tony Bliar "morally corrupt".
Read full storyTony Blair To Honour Bevin Boys/Soldiers With Special Honours
Thousands of conscripts who were stuffed down coalmines during World War II will receive a 'special honour' for their endeavours, outgoing Prime Minister Tony Bliar has said.
Read full storyTV Networks To Reduce Broadcast Hours
(New York) - The major 24-hour cable TV news networks have bowed to public pressure to stop reporting unimportant, non-national news stories. According to viewers, just because there is a picture or a video of an event, or a reporter nearby, doesn...
Read full storyReggie Theus New Sacramento Kings Head Basketball Coach
The Sacramento Kings have been in existence in Sacramento for only 23 seasons. Reggie Theus was announced today as their 21st head coach. Considering that one coach led the team for eight seasons, longevity is not sure thing for this club.
Read full storyIdentity Theives De-Fraud Herman Munster
Herman Munster is the latest victim of identity theft. His social security number, mastercard number, and birthdate were all used by an overseas company to illegally purchase computer and entertainment supplies. Then, all of their bank accounts wer...
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