Mexico City) - Giant retailer, Wal-Mart, has acquired the country of Mexico for the retail price of $7.88 (163 pesos).
A Wal-Mart spokesperson issued a statement explaining why they bought Mexico, "We need more employees who don't care about health care benefits or pensions and we want to pay less than minimum wage. We also need more low income customers. Buying a country like Mexico serves our needs, is a good investment and a good business decision. Plus, it was cheap. We like cheap."
Mexico had no comment.
The U.S. Securities & Exchange Commission and the U.S. Justice Department say they have no problem with the acquisition and the Department of Homeland Security says, "That's good for Homeland Security. It resolves the issue of illegal immigration from Mexico. Now, it's Wal-Mart's problem."
copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence