TV Networks To Reduce Broadcast Hours

Funny story written by Andrew Lawrence

Thursday, 21 June 2007

image for TV Networks To Reduce Broadcast Hours

(New York) - The major 24-hour cable TV news networks have bowed to public pressure to stop reporting unimportant, non-national news stories. According to viewers, just because there is a picture or a video of an event, or a reporter nearby, doesn't mean an event is newsworthy or that viewers around the country and around the world want to see it.

Such non-newsworthy stories include: local traffic accidents, local homicides, and Amber Alerts for missing kids in places like Bumfork, Iowa (it's not likely that the kid will be spotted thousands of miles away in Miami or New York).

News networks will also clearly separate news stories from entertainment stories. Stories about cute animals, and celebrities in trouble with the law, will remain as news.

As a result of eliminating non-important, non-relevant, non-national, non-world shattering news stories, the major cable TV networks will reduce hours of broadcasting; from the current 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to 15 minutes daily.

copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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