Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 21 June 2007

image for Senator Ted Stevens named Godfather of Corrupt Bastards Club
Sen Ted Stevens is looking increasingly like the CBC's godfather

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Mystery stil surrounds the enigma of how Alaska's Senator Ted Stevens became the Corrupt Bastards Club official Godfather despite a rash of news coverage in the US this week focusing on "an embittered psychopath with a host of grudges".

Stevens, 83, is a former chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee and was headhunted by corrupt big oil money during the first Ronald Reagan/Bush1 administration of 1980-84.

His remit was to secure a steady income stream which could be used to bribe local as well as national US politicians who had found out that Reagan was a former KGB colonel with child molestor convictions from his heady Hollywood movie days.

Stevens' first foray into the Corrupt Bastards Club was as a recruit whose cack-handed attempt to forge documents that "donated" the ownership rights of the Chevron Oil Corporation to George Bush Junior via the instrument of a fake divorce settlement.

This folly was subsequently branded by NATO military intelligence as the "act of a madman on mind-bending intoxicants" and condemned by an emergency session of the UN Security Council in 1984, shortly after the "IRA" bombing of the Tory Party Conference in the Grand Hotel in Brighton.

When the Chevron stockholders filed Supreme Court lawsuit papers showing Stevens had forged the stockholder documents, Reagan instructed his Veep to back down and settle immediately out of court while ensuring that Stevens was gagged with a hefty paycheck from CIA coke-running black ops in Nicuragua.

And so began Stevens's seminal role in the dirty tricks department of the GOP.

As he wriggles and writhes this week to evade the Feds' probe into his relationship with VECO corruption payments, Stevens is closer than ever at being unmasked as the head of Corrupt Bastards Club organised crime cartels.

Playing the doddery, senile old insouciant card may have worked in the past.

Whether it works for the hoary old shyster tomorrow is still clearly up for debate.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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