Order by:
Rating:

"Heroes"?

It's been reported by a regular watcher of "Heroes" that not one hero has failed to betray at least one other since the start of Season One. Only Mr. Muggles seems to have any loyalty.

written by Alexandria177, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Obama peace prize violates Constitution

In violation of Article I, Section 9, which says that the President cannot accept "emoluments" from foreign nations, he has accepted a $1.4 million gift from the Parliament of Norway.

written by Alexandria177, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Clinton Vows Support For Tiger Woods

Former President Bill Clinton stated "I won't cheat on Hillary until Tiger is back in the game. Ha, ha. Just kidding!"

written by Gordo Plenty, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Simply Forgot Ourselves

Protesters For World Peace apologize for mass riot in Denmark, Italian Prime Minister's injury, those killed and maimed.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Britshit Airways announce Christmas strikes, escaping Brits sentenced to suffer Christmas UK style!

Due to the "Britshit Airways" strike thousands of stranded, desperate Brits may have to suffer a real SHIT-BRIT-CHRISTMAS, Queens speech an all, the suicide rate in the UK hits an all time high!

written by Jaggedone, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Iran Caught In Lie

Source: 'Alarming' secret document details Iran's nuclear goals to build nuclear weapons, which completely shocks a village idiot somewhere in small village near Hawkhurst.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Obama Criticizes Bankers

President Obama tells Wall Street execs gathered at the White House that he expects 'an extraordinary commitment' to aid the nation, even if they have to charge $100 per returned check!

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Eminem and his Rapping mates go "GAY BASHING"

At last the RAP-CRAP-SCENE is doing something positive, bashing GAYS with their RAPS! The pop world, run by GAYS, has villified them, but the rappers are determined to "STRAIGHTEN" them out!

written by Jaggedone, 14 December 2009
Rating:

We're Paying It Off

Citigroup Has Reached a Deal to Repay U.S. Bailout Funds! They will begin in January with $1,000 per month.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Pot Top Choice

New survey shows that pot is very popular with today's teenagers, one & two-year-olds.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

British Airways Doing Their Bit for Climate Change!

British Airways not going to fly for 12 days over Christmas in a bid to reduce their carbon footprint.

written by IN SEINE, 14 December 2009
Rating:

This Is How I Did It If I Did It

Bill Clinton will host banker's conference right after their meeting with Obama. $100,000 Program: How To Lie Straight Faced And Not Be Fired!

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

New Dole Viagra Ads

Bob Dole will once again do Viagra commercials after doctors find that anxiety over ED a key cause. New slogan on ads will be, "Don't Worry, Be Floppy".

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Tehran Wins Terrorist Bid

Tehran, Iran say they will host next year's annual terrorists conference at peaceful nuclear site.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Will Observe From 'Blueberry Hill'

President Obama appointments Fats Domino as Final Katrina Clean-Up Czar.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Yogi Caught In The Act!

Former New York Yankee great Yogi Berra caught trying to make up new silly phrases. "Will leave baseball guest-speaking indefinitely"

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

New Teen Term

Report: More US teens still texting while driving and referring to it as "Air Bagging!".

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Blair Wasn't Concerned With WMD's

Blair: I would have invaded Iraq with Bush even without that WMD ploy. That Saddam always trying to outdress me.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

"Ole Blackwater, Keep On Rolling"

Report: Blackwater troops now in charge of over 60% of Iraq, heading into Afghanistan.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Right At Midnight

Saddam Hussein pays unexpected visit to Bush family in Crawford, Texas.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Pay Czar Exemps Obama Supporters

New Pay Czar Exempts 300 of company CEO's from new salary limits. Only a coincidence that they all gave to Obama election campaign.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Berlusconi Hit By Mafia

Mafia hit ordered on Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi was edorded by strong man, Claudio Bruno.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Sorry, You're Gone

"Tiger Woods Brand" golf clubs and golf gloves frie Tiger Woods as It's representative.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Probe Over Cement Mixer Incident

New probe ordered over death of man crushed in cement mixer after family claim 'cover-up' "We can't bury him until you probe him out of there."

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Baby-Faced Live Longer

Are you a baby face? Then you'll live to a ripe old age, but be considered a freak with the small head.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Shoe Launched At Own Mouth

The day gaffe-prone Prince Philip told blind IRA bomb attack hero: 'You can't see a lot judging by that tie'. "No but I can recognize you by that idiotic phrase."

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Soldier Sweethearts Marry

Soldier sweethearts who served together in Afghanistan return home to marry, have old-fashioned shotgun wedding!

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Werewolves Are Real!

A study suggests that a full moon really can bring out the beast in us, turning us into biting, spitting and scratching animals. Study done by the Stephen King Institute in Maine.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Parents More Responsible

Ed Balls confirmed that laws requiring criminal record checks on adults who work with children will be watered down. "Parents should teach kids to punch eyes, kick groins at early age."

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Doctors Boycott Metting

The Christian Medical Fellowship - which represents 4,500 doctors - has boycotted a public consultation on assisted suicide, homicide.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

House Prices, Houses Down

House prices, houses fall for second month in a row as average home loses £5,000 after huge storms, mudslides.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Bankers May Give Obama "Banker's Prize?"

Obama: I didn't become president to help out a bunch of fat cat bankers on Wall Street. I came here to win prizes!

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Also Increase In Nudges

Bumper Christmas for high street as shops see best sales for bumpers in three years.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Berlusconi Attacked

Silvio Berlusconi loses a PINT of blood and ends up with a broken nose and missing teeth after another mentally ill man attacks him

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Brown Sees Action On Visit!

Brave Gordon "Action Man" Brown beds down with gay troops in Afghanistan.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Poor Taliban Misunderstood

Taliban should be praised for their faith, beating of women and sense of loyalty, says British forces bishop.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

That's My Boy!

That's my boy: Army Major returns home from Afghanistan to see baby son for the first time in eleven months.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

No Real Terrorist Threats?

Britain misled into Iraq war by Blair's 'sycophancy to U.S. and alarming subterfuge with Bush', says former DPP. "They pulled the old Churchill/Roosevelt Ploy!"


written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Several Glasses Already Knocked Away

Brace yourself for snow, big snowball fights, this week say weathermen.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

No Mail Delivery Again

More than half of customers hit by the postman's 'sorry you were out' ruse. "We did cough a bit."


written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Air Strike Threat

Air strike threat to Christmas holidays as planes bomb Christmas tree farms!

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Don't Drink & Doink!

Drunk men who insist on sex 'are rapists and cannot use alcohol, naked wife shaking tail, as an excuse.'

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

It's Michael J. All Over Again?

Child protection officers are said to have visited Tiger Woods's home following allegations that he & his wife had a violent row over his affairs. "Read it in the gossip rags", says Police chief.


written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Screw Up As Usual

Single mother of eight living in a £2.6m mansion - so much for Labour's housing benefit crackdown. Others begin demanding the same.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

No Surprise Here!

Teens ignore laws against texting while driving, as they do pretty much everything else.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Golfers Wait & Watch

Woods' colleagues wait and wonder, like everyone. "That's what you do on a golf course", states Ernie Els. "You mostly wait for those in front to finish."

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Who Was That Msked Idiot?

Bahamas man charged with robbing Segway tours while wearing a mask on a soup-up Segway, say victims.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Obamas Join Stars

Obamas join stars for Christmas benefit concert as President will sing "Santa Claus Has Come To Town" while holding up Nobel Peace Prize.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Wow! Look At This!

Novel drug combo improves movie viewing, congress healthcare plans, the way your hand appears, say doctors.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Poor Turned Away From Free Check-Up

Poor being turned away from free cancer screenings as authorities say they can't afford it.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Judges, Lawyers Must Unfriend??

Fla. judges, lawyers must 'unfriend' on Facebook as "The Good Old Boy Blog" closed down.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Changes On The Local Level

World's mayors tackle climate change on their own by asking citizens to breath slower, fart less.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Abu Dhabi, Oprah To The Rescue

Dubai gets $10B from Abu Dhabi, another $10B from Oprah to cover debt.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Lieberman Making Too Much Sense For Most

Lieberman resists Medicare buy-in plan. "It's broke now and you want more people placed in it?"

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

UN Climate Talks Frozen

U.N. climate talks were thrown into disarray Monday as developing countries blocked negotiations, demanding that rich countries give them money.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Nobel Hipocrite?

Axelrod: Obama to lecture banks on accountability while Democrats asked for over one trillion dollars.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Obama Goes All George Baily on The Banks:

"Where's that money, you silly stupid old fools? Where's that money? Do you realize what this means? It means bankruptcy and scandal and prison. That's what it means."

written by Adam Click, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Only A Big Meteor Shower

Best Meteor Shower of 2009 Peaks Tonight says UFO Commander Orzxxity.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

"Honey, I'm NOT Saddam!

Back from combat, women struggle for acceptance after husbands wake them up while they prowl the house at night in their sleep.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

King's Generosity, Searching For Ideas

Stephen King to pay for troops' holiday trip home with a few little thrilling tales he will collect along the way.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Tired Of Looking At Him

Citigroup Inc. says it is repaying $20 billion bailout money it received from the Treasury Dept., in an effort to reduce government influence over the banking giant & make guy with calculator go away.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Tiger Changes Name

Will now be called "Cheetah Woods"

written by Richard DagNabbit, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Turns out that Johnny Hallyday's Surgeon

wasn't mugged, he was a passenger in Tiger Woods's SUV 'on that night'

written by Tcoah, 14 December 2009
Rating:

When Man Discovered the Wheel

he was set on a doomed path.

written by Tcoah, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Tiger Woods up again

He's a walking, talking, hard iron

written by Tcoah, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Lots Of Chatter

Reporters say that there was a lot of noise backstage as the Heisman Trophy candidates waited. "Mostly they were practicing, 'I'm going to Disney World', "states janitor.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Saddam's Novel Found

Located "Novel" by Saddam Hussein mostly just childlike drawings of him kicking Bush in the ass.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Outside, Puking

Slow moving mall shopper gets sprayed by seven different men's colognes.

written by Bureau, 14 December 2009
Rating:

US National Debt Reduction Underway

Congress mandated OPM to pay down the national debt. OPM is to lay off all federal civilian employees, thereby saving $400 billion per year, allowing the national debt to be repaid in about 25 years.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Carbon Dioxide Capture Masks

EPA orders 350 million CO2 capture face masks, one for each American. The mask may also be employed to capture human emissions of methane gas, but the EPA cautions against swapping these used masks.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

A Show of Support

Pete Rose and Michael Vic won't drink Gator Aid, use Gillette products or wear Nike shoes to show sympathy with Tiger Woods.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

EPA Name Change

The EPA will change its name to the Ethically Pathetic Agency or the Executive Political Agency, as soon as the president makes a decision.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Financial Advice to the Middle Class and Seniors

Sell all your assets, give the cash to your children or grandchildren as a gift, and go on federal welfare. Either that or wait for Congress to tax and spend your money away to get onto welfare!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Absolute Power

Absolute power corrupts absolutely! In the case of Bill Clinton, Gary Hart and Tiger Woods it must have gone to their crotches.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

A New Job for Tiger

Australian and Chinese officials are interested in getting giant pandas to mate in captivity. Tiger Woods has been hired as a tutor.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Please Use Your Sick Leave

57% of Americans oppose the current health care reform legislation. These citizens keep urging the debating US Senators to use their government paid sick leave to go home and "give it a rest!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Left Wing Fascists

Left wing fascists, sounds like a contradiction in terms! Students that vandalized the UC Berkeley Chancellor's home, over fee raises, and climate change fanatics that broke widows in Copenhagen.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Employment Opportunity

Are you an elitist, tax cheat or whacko far left liberal lusting to tax & spend using non-existent funds? There is a place for you in the Obama administration or Congress. Please call 1-202-DEFICIT.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

DC Voting Rights

Washington DC wants congressional voting rights! Congress makes promises and blames everybody but themselves. A pesky little item like an amendment to the US Constitution keeps getting in their way.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Gate Crashers Figured Out



The US Secret Service has figured out how those two slime ball gate crashers got into the state dinner hosted by President Obama. The couple "oozed" their way under the doors!

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

NUTSY Rally Held

A gigantic NUTSY rally was held in Copenhagen Denmark, as rabid green shirt activists broke windows and attacked non-believer climatologists. Repeated shouts of sieg heil Gore could be heard.

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
Rating:

Democratic Given Name



New CBO study reveals that all Congressional far left wing Democratic big spenders who do not listen to their constituents have the same first name, namely "F**king!"

written by Philbert of Macadamia, 14 December 2009
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2nd
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84
4th
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115
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106
10th
95
11th
86
12th
137
13th
90
14th
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97
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65
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