Order by:
Rating:

Your Vote Down There!

United Nations representative from Jamaica usually keeps classic Bob Marley on his headphones.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Most Influencial Democrat

Barack Obama comes out in poll as the most influence on the Democrat party in the last 20 years. Monica Lewinsky comes out second.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

New Poll Out

The latest poll out shows that most Americans want good jobs, good retirement benefits and Monk to come back on TV.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Metal Comes Out!

The United States asks China to recall defective auto tire swings.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

"Look At Monkey Mommy!"

Parents discover belatedly that Uncle George's gift to kids of wind-up cymbal clashing toy monkey's penis also comes & gos!

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Spiked Santa's Eggnog!

Kids mad over dad spiking eggnog causing Santa to leave them all sex toys and a pissed on tree.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

My First & Last

First year Santa in mall beginning to feel some sympathy for Hansel & Gretal witch!

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Swine Flu Not So Bad

Fear of catching the swine flu replaced by fear of swine flu shot, "up-your-nose probe test" to see if you got the swine flu.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Would Make A Point

Most New Yorkers approve new Twin Tower design of Bin Laden catching it in prison!

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Best Test Guesses

The Teapot Dome and The Old North Church all-time favorite trial answers to history exams in high school!

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Tear-Gassed In Turkey

Protesters tear-gassed in Turkey. "We'll never come here to eat again", says leader of family of twenty. I could just cry."

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Caps Are Allowed

Senate health plan to allow caps on insurance benefits, idiot John Deere tractor drivers going 20MPH down the road.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Tiger Taking Break

Tiger Woods says he's taking leave of absence, senses, from professional golf!!

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Calendar Girl Suddenly Popular

Kansas farm girl who made the centerfold in new high school fund raising bathing suit calender getting a lot more dates.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Let's Have Some Order Here

Colorado man who ran into walk-in clinic after getting bit by deadly cobra told to go back out the door and walk in.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Maybe A Small Nuclear Exchange

Leaders meeting in Copenhagen say that the world population will be completely out of control by 2135 if not prevented.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Riot Kills 597!

Muslim extremists riot over misuse of Koran to knock back an attacking dog!

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Heard That Before

Arrested naked man running down the street in Miami says he got caught taken a shower in the wrong apartment.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Inside "Going Rogue"

Sarah Palin tells in her new book "Going Rogue" tells of hunting trip where former VP Cheney got excited and tried to shoot her in the face.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Illegals Becoming Extinct

Oil companies needing help as hired illegals become hunting ground for polar bears.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Party Girl Making A Fortune

Stripper makes most of her money selling videos she secretly tapes while performing at bachelor party to the then married guy a month later.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Or So We've Heard

Two in the fast lane dead as grapevine travelers collide head on in the Congo.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

It Doesn't Hurt To Try

Unpublished writer in North Carolina dedicates his sixth self published book to, plus names his second little girl, Oprah.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Another California Health Law

KFC promises to only serve free range chicken buckets in California.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Pod Explodes

A Pod from outer space has exploded while tying to become a copy of Kirstie Alley.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi floored by verbal Gom Jabbar

In scenes that could have stepped out of Frank Herbert's DUNE, Berlusconi hit by rebounding words from the kwisatz haderach.

written by Tcoah, 13 December 2009
Rating:

If There Was Global Warming, We'd Need To Be Ready

Group meeting in Copenhagen order guy who hacked faked weather news over internet to be shot as soon as possible. "Public can't handle the truth".

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

One For Guinness

First set of albino Siamese dwarfs marry in Arkansas. It's OK, they're male/female and facing each other. "Just wanted to make an honest woman of her", states male.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

We'll Handle It, Thanks

Northeastern states having a really hard time after near blizzard but tell FEMA to stay away.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Obama: Lot Quieter Around Her!

Obama's mother-in-law taken to Guantanamo after being connected to Al-Qaida through "Six degrees of separation" law.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Victim Will Recover

Local lad sets atomic wedgy record by pulling elastic of victims underwear all the way over his head and tied in a bow on top.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

"Now Your Snowgeese, They're Different...."

Library visitor who's an authority on wild geese migration bores still more customers out the door.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

I'm Outa Here!

New anchor mad at just-fired employee who rigged up anchor's head on screen behind him without hair piece.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Boys Eat Cat

12-year-old boys brought to court for roasting cat say that it was already dead in the road and they just wanted to brag to older boys that they had eaten one.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Who Would Have Thought

Starbucks reveals that oatmeal is their number one seller at their stores, followed closely by tinned tongue.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Cheney On Bush

Former Vice President states that President Bush wanted to stop any possible global warming by having weathermen running winter weather segments in the summer.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Name of Game Undecided

A new Internet game called "Whack the Banker" has already proved to be a success, however, its' inventors think it will be more successful if they called it"Bash the Wanker". SAME THING REALLY!

written by norma snockers, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Italians Ban Breast Implants for Girls under 18

The Italian government has banned breast implants for girls who are under 18 years of age. However, boys under 18, can still have this operation should they wish to do so.

written by norma snockers, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Showing The Excitement

To celebrate the meeting of all those countries in Denmark over global warming, Iran sated that they fired ten missiles into the air.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Cuban After Record

Cuban athletic star will attempt to swim from Cuba to the United States. Says that his family will accompany him for safety's sake, one 100 passenger boat.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

"We'll do Anything to get Tiger back!"

The PGA has announced that it will allow threesomes next year.

written by Adam Click, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Couple Of Johns

John McCain, upset over a recent John Kerry remark, says that it must be nice to be married to a rich lady.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Just Slipped Out!

Jesse Jackson still trying to explain his statement about Obama, "I'd like to cute his nuts out" now says that he was quoting Tiger Woods wife about Tiger.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

On Disney in March

The Obama kids to have their own show on Disney, "My Daddy, The Nobel Prize Winner" about a fictional war settlement.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Everything Turning Brown

White House gardeners say that the whole Rose Garden will have to be replanted after this year's "beer conference".

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Beer Disposal A Problem

VP Joe Biden says that he will not attend any more Beer Conferences at White House. "There should have been a couple of aides. I've shook all the peckers I'm going to."

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Obama Defends Appearances

President Obama defended his number of appearances on the cover of major magazines. "Oprah has been on the cover of "O' magazine over 100 times."

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

What Me President?

Barack Obama's latest picture on cover of Newsweek Magazine #37. That beats the record 36 of President Bush on the cover of Mad Magazine.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

The Purloined #2

United States troops in Afghanistan report today that they have discovered the remains of al-Qaeda #2 which they formerly mistook for a big pile of shit.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

She Knew All The Time!

After having a gypsy fortune teller tell him he is about to meet a gorgeous gal named Iris, local loser Billy Ray Adkins of Selma, Alabama has caller with Pomeranian dog.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Have To Have The Right Pitch

China has once again accused Tibetan monks of synchronized chants from a mountain retreat causing landslides in China.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

"I Got A Little Frightened!"

London man who wanted to jump out of an airplane on his 89th birthday, shits all over those on ground waiting for him to land.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Allah abandons Iran after oppostion constantly insult his prophet, Khomeini!

Iran has really blown it now, thay have forced Allah to abandon them! Reason being, the constant insults about Khomeini, Allah has done everything to save Iran from the evil US, now he's had enough!

written by Jaggedone, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Berlusconi Passes 'Women's Underwear'

Italian P.M. Silvio Berlusconi shocked leaders at an EU summit on Friday by sending them doodles showing women's underwear through the ages. "Makes more sense than this meeting" as many agree.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Couldn't Take It Any Longer

Pensioner, 98, charged with murdering 100-year-old room-mate after complaining she 'had too many visitors, once had the hots for Kaiser'.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Children To Get Half Dose

Children to get just half dose of swine flu vaccine after half-ass effort by authorities.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Towelheads Winning

'Our faith is being targeted .... and we've been thrown to the lions': the Christian hoteliers accused of insulting Muslim guest reveal.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Gordan Brown In The "Doghouse"!

Gordon 'Action Man' Brown beds down in small shed during surprise pre-Christmas visit to British troops in Afghanistan.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

A Real Winner Here

Vanessa George sent picture of her own daughter naked to internet paedophile ring as "Mother of the Year" award consideration dropped.


written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Tiger Marriage Ending?

Tiger Woods' wife is to 'end marriage after Christmas': How giving up golf may have been too little, too late for humiliated Elin, after latest news of cannibalism.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Prince William Shadow King

Prince William to share the Queen's duties: Secret Treasury document reveals plan to make him 'Shadow King'. Prince Harry asks to be 'Shadow King's Sidekick, Unilluminated Boy'!

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Tiger Bringing Golf Down

Ramifications for Woods and his sport are unfolding. "Worse than unscripted wrestling", say some.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Dips Also On Board Some Flights

Airline group sees 2.5 pct dip in holiday travel. Hope to improve with smother rides, no dips.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Another "Kool-Aid Acid Test"?

Novel drug combo improves changes of writing a bestseller while high as a kite.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

With Few Exceptions

Florida's judges and lawyers should no longer "friend" each other on Facebook, according to a ruling from the state's Judicial Ethics Advisory Committee. OK if husbands exchange dinner plans,

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

After Receiving Monitoring Tags

Denmark: nearly 1,000 climate protesters released into the wilds!

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Brown In Afghanistan

British PM Gordon Brown in southern Afghanistan. Doesn't remember how he got there. Blames opposition party....party party.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Nuclear Weapons Could Be Dangerous

Kremlin cites progress on weapons treaty with US, saying that everyone only having biological, chemical weapons to destroy the world is enough.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Hell Is Hot But Is It Humid?

Ministers meet for informal climate talks. "Is it hot out here or is it me?"

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Obama A Close Second

Mark Ingram, running back, delivers Sweet Home Alabama its first Heisman ever.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Stats Made Up , Exaggerated, But True

E-mails stolen from climate scientists show they stonewalled skeptics and discussed hiding data which they base their man-made global warming proof.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

"Why Isn't He Doing Something?"

Homes emptied, vehicles trapped amid California storm, all blamed on that muscle-headed Governor.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Further Currancy Devaluation?

Senate to vote on $1.1 trillion spending bill as several plan to hold up burning dollars if approved.

written by Bureau, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Straight Adult Only Santa Grottos the 2009 rage!

Adult toy producer LEGGO-VER have opened adult Santa grottos and Mamma/Papa Mia, they're the real f*****g Xmas rage for 2009 even "OUTSTRIPPING" the ZHU ZHU Hamsters!

written by Jaggedone, 13 December 2009
Rating:

The Future of the British Monarchy?

Kate plus 1?

written by Tcoah, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Tony Blair accused of twisting facts on Iraq

No! Never!

written by Tcoah, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Katie Price and Pamela Anderson and that dress

turn heads, but for the wrong reasons, at British Comedy Awards

written by Tcoah, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Expenses Always Met!

Putting down his/her Daily Telegraph, a leading politician (who did not want to be named) has said; "It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere!"

written by IN SEINE, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Healthy Eating

Nutritionists say that Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.

written by IN SEINE, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Halfway through Season Three of "Heroes"...

...and Claire the Cheerleader has not only been unnecessary for all aspects of world saving, her life or death made no difference to what the others did.

written by Alexandria177, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Some MPs are convinced they should have top end cars on expenses

almost the same MPs that can't drive because of drink-driving

written by Tcoah, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Ed Balls to ease rules on parent vetting

and parent bed wetting

written by Tcoah, 13 December 2009
Rating:

"Meet the Fockers"

bit like meeting Tiger Woods's flock of 'geese'.

written by Tcoah, 13 December 2009
Rating:

"VIP Treatment for Tiger Woods's Girl"

but which one?

written by Tcoah, 13 December 2009
Rating:

"Single mum Stacey Soloman voted off X Factor"

but wins hearts of frogs hoping to be transformed into princes.

written by Tcoah, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Nobel Peace Prize winner escalates Afghani war

What are you still reading for? The title was the punchline. Though it probably won't be as funny to the parents who are losing their teens over there.

written by Alexandria177, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Keeping warmer just got better

A Danish man has come up with an idea for more effective heating in winter: close the window. Yes, he realised that his house is much warmer if he closes his windows to keep out the cold. Brilliant!!

written by whatinthe world, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Bush and Blair Form "New World Order Commission"

Both agree that over 200 countries know what a WMD is and their regimes need changing now.



written by Richard DagNabbit, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Queen Elizabeth I Rises from the Dead

Protests Lady Gaga's meeting with Queen Elizabeth II.

written by Gail Farrelly, 13 December 2009
Rating:

Anna Friel and Harry Potter Actor make announcement

Harry Potter Junior ...

written by Tcoah, 13 December 2009
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