Order by:
Rating:

Tiger Woods Announces He Has Been Hired as Golf Coach

Tiger Woods announced that he has been hired as Golf coach at Muffs University, a woman's college. Campus bookstore director stated that blond wig sales instantly skyrocketed.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Oprah Miffed Again

Oprah pissed again as book she recommended, "Horton Hears A Who" apparently not true.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

I'll Miss Him

Family pet finally gets taken off life support after being ran over by lawn mower three years ago.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Reading Better Than TV

Librarian in Texas says that at least the movies about Harry Potter and Twilight have gotten the kids interested in reading film magazines.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Clinton Receivs Mail

Friends of former President Bill Clinton say that periodically he receives a musical card in the mail with a phot of Monica Lewinsky & "Devil With The Blue Dress On"

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

"It's Herself!"

In Loch Ness, local villagers carrying torches once again go home disappointed after the monster fails to show herself once again!

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

One 0n One

After hearing about the Red Cross wasting all that blood after 911, Arkansas man says from now on he's going to the hospital to contribute his personally.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Looks Just Like Her!

Thousands flock to see the image of Mother Teresa on man's arm!

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

You'll Get Inheritance Soon Enough

Parents shush kids on trip over the river & through the woods to grandmother's house to quit that, "Is she daed yet? Is she dead yet?"

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Too much "Hot Air" in Denmark causes even quicker North Pole meltdown!

"Hot Air" caused by delegates in Denmark BLA-BLA-ING is rapidly drifting towards the North Pole causing a sudden meltdown, angry Polar Bears on icebergs have been sighted drifting towards Denmark!

written by Jaggedone, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Told Not To Watch News

Mere threat of "dirty Bomb" talk on news sets counselors for OCD patients back two full years.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Sawyer Retires From GMA!

Diane Sawyer says this is her last week on 'GMA'. Obama may cancel speech because of three day celebration!

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

"Like They Do In Houston"

The Northwest Airlines pilots who overshot Minneapolis have blamed air traffic controllers for not waking them up.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Taking the Mickey!

Disney World in Florida as chosen the Wiltshire town of Swindon as its twin. Perhaps it's because it has so many roundabouts? The Mayor of Swindon thinks they are just taking the Mickey.

written by IN SEINE, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Chinese build 12 million cars but have no roads!

World industrial wonder, China, has beaten all car producing records, they only have one problem, there are no decent roads in China. Japan have offered to help by building a colossal scrap yard!

written by Jaggedone, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Hi Ho! Hi Ho!

Seven dwarfs seen following Tiger Woods around looking for an old friend.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

New Obama Birth Evidence

New evidence put forth that President Obama was actually born in a manger in Bethlehem.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Know Which Is The Enemy

President Obama: We must distinguish between the good and the bad Taliban. The good Taliban only chop off fingers and beat women.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Reached Across The Aisle

New Nixon White House tapes released today show that Nixon often crapped on photographs of Kennedy, Eisenhower.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Unemployment 90%??

Unemployment nearly 90% says really upset recently laid off statisticians. Police keeping him under surveillance.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Another Bad Sign

Economy signs still down. The latest: Smallest bribes since 1950's say congressmen.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Somali Threat Hits Home

Disguised Somali pirates seize good part of Disney World. Hold Goofy, Minnie as hostages.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Germans are certainly cannibals, science has proved it!

After finding remains of chewed bones from the Neolithic era science has proven that Germans are cannibals. In fact Hitler was born quite near and now the world knows WHY!!

written by Jaggedone, 07 December 2009
Rating:

"Let Him Through!"

Saudi Arabia oil money believed to be behind latest wave of suicide car bombings being Jaguars.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

"Hot To Trot"

Mad teen tells friends that his date Saturday night was definitely "Hot to trot", but only after their dinner at Taco Bell.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Springsteen To Hold Benefit?

Bruce Springsteen offers to head up a new three-day benefit to raise money for Obama's health care package. "We'll hold it right here in....where are we?"

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Gore Is Cloned

Al Gore has himself cloned so that there is two of him to command on his ark in the Great Smokey Mountains.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Tiger's Trophy Girls Album Discovered!

1,199 photos of bar hopping blond babes that all look alike.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Santa Raises Up To $5,000!

Salvation Army says that that was not one of their Sants bell-ringers in front of office selling tickets to Taylor Swift concert.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

"Legally Drunk"

Judge in Alabama throws out Governor's arrest for "being legally drunk". "If it's legal, how can you charge him with anything?"

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Electricity Bills Up

Electricity bills to rise by £4.30 a year to fund network upgrade, employee pay upgrade.


written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Climategate Being Shushed

'Climategate' dominates Copenhagen talks as UN global warming chief accuses hackers of sabotage, revealing the truth.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Vet Is Cured

Austin, Texas veteran of WWII finally over shell-shock. "I'm 83 now and I only have something called 'Post Dramatic Some-Kinda Shit'."

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Really Earned Them

Medals are pukka but I'm sworn to silence on how I won them, says the parade 'fraud'. "Ask the wife!"

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Obama About Tiger

President Obama finally mentions the Tiger Woods affair. "Our nation's age of innocence is over."

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Things Happened Back Then Too

Old man on park bench in Washington Square overheard stating that his third grade teacher gave good googly moogly!

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Judge Gives Harsh Sentence

Judge's fury at drunken teenager who 'urinated on war memorial', drunken vet in alley.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

"And They Were Both Walking"

After fury over huge payouts, Alistair Darling to target City fat cats who are allowing rat politicians run free.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

But Less Painful

American state changes the way it executes prisoners... so that they die more slowly. Executions consist of 365 last meals from fast food restaurants causing heart to explode!

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

"Get Outa The Road, Idiots"

Round-the-clock drinking and cut-price alcohol are to blame for an 'appalling' rise in dancers, experts warned today.


written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Have An Anthrax Holiday!

Panic across the US as millions receive soap powder samples in mail after advertiser forgot to attach labels.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Taco Wars!

Spanish restaurant sued by Taco Bell after calling itself, "Taco Belle's Place".

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Middle Class Missing

Middle classes and the rich face biggest fall in living standards for decades. Many are asking, "WHAT Middle Class?"

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Higher Taxes Creating Problems

Return of Gordon Brown's stealth tax as 'thousands more face 40% increase, million quitting jobs to go on welfare.'


written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

How Can We Help?

Families who can't get by on £100,000 a year! "What's going to happen to the, worries those in third world?

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Take Care Of Your Own!

Counselors say: Forget Tiger Woods! Is your own marriage solid? Wonder how many women will come forward today?

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Furyk Over Tiger Event!

Furyk rallies to win Tiger's event! "On the golf course", Furyk reminds wife and family.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Did You Miss It?

'Blind Side' eclipses 'New Moon' with $20 Million weekend. Astronomers say event will not occur again until 5057.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

It's Not Me, It's My DNA

Some children get severely obese because they lack particular chunks of DNA, which kicks their hunger into overdrive, researchers report as fatso's give another lame excuse.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Virgin Galactic Unveiled

Virgin Galactic to unveil commercial spaceship, plans for the new 1,000 Mile High Club!

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

"Holy Roller"

US says bin Laden sometimes slips into Afghanistan after disguising himself as Yusuf Islam and humming "Peace Train".

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Estimate Slashed

Administration to slash bailout cost estimate, but not actual bailout funding.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Anthem Dispute

Anthem dispute may affect care. Those confined to their bed told they do not need to stand when National song played.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Chances: Ten Million To One

Four New Species of King Crabs Discovered! All four found in one service station bathroom.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Mandela Never Owned One

S.African actors 'want Hudson out of Mandela film'. "Old car has no place in this movie."

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

LAPD: Lap Dancing?

LAPD to better enforcement of new LARD measures in California!

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Reneck Rap Takes The Rap

Kansas lawmaker: Sorry if 'RedNeck Rap' offensive, especially to kind and gentle black rappers.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Wolf Release Controversy

Wolf recovery at crossroads in the Southwest as Howling Wolf to do "Crossroads" at benefit singing.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

How's Is She Performing Son?

Study: Parents' Sex Talks With Kids Happening Too Late! Talks needed BEFORE marriage.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Toys Unsafe?

Group contends popular Zhu Zhu Pets toys unsafe. Do not recommend giving one to your pet.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Still Holding Grudge

Pearl Harbor survivor back for 1st time since war, flattens Japanese tourist.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Hippocrites Meeting Begins

COPENHAGEN CLIMATE SUMMIT: 1,200 LIMOS, 140 PRIVATE PLANES...
Spews More CO2 than 60 Countries do in Entire Year COMBINED! "All to help people quit damaging the earth."

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Kate Moss - Didn't Make the 'BIG K'

Kate Bush, Katie Price, Kate Winslet, Kate Austen (LOST), Kate Hudson, and Kate Beckinsale launch Kappa Film Fraternity.

written by Tcoah, 07 December 2009
Rating:

A Dyslexic Opera Critic Found at Supermarket

A 22 year-old dyslexic opera critic was found in Tesco's supermarket in Shrewsbury today. He was hoping to find a production of Puccini's 'Tosca'. A spokesman for Tesco's said; "every little helps!"

written by IN SEINE, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Doctors On Strike!

Doctors at the local hospital go on strike. Hospital officials say as soon as they can get a chemist over there to read the picket signs, they will respond to the doctors' demands.

written by IN SEINE, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Tiger Woods Establishes Stable for Blond Party Girls

Construction of the 500 room facility will begin immediately.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 December 2009
Rating:

2010 Election Prospects Slim for Democrats

As both parties represent the same banks and insurance companies.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Bankrupt Country For Sale - Bring All Offers

Country is USA. Contact International Bankruptcy Trustee for Details.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Swedish Study Concludes on What to Do with Old Nukes

Drop them on Wall Street.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Great Balls Of Fire!

Old-timer overheard on park bench in Florida telling his friend that his third grade teacher used to give great googly moogly!

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Must You Ask Again?

The leaders of Iran once more have reassured the UN that they only intend to use their nuclear arsenal to heat homes, malls and factories.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Americans Right On Top Of Things

In a new Gallup Poll, 60% of Americans say why should they care what the president and congress do with their money? "Just leave our money alone."

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Vandals Strike Mt. Rushmore

Police in South Dakota say that during the night, some vandals have hung a big artificial booger from Theodore Roosevelt's nose.

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
Rating:

Bumps Grinch This Time

Rumor: President Obama's speech Tuesday night entitled "Make A Job Of Looking For A Job" could be nominated for next year's Nobel Prize For Economics!

written by Bureau, 07 December 2009
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10th
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11th
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12th
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13th
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14th
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16th
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65
18th
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19th
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20th
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