Order by:
Rating:

Idiot Judge

A judge gave balloon boy's parents some jail time, and barred them from profiting on their hoax for four years. A smart judge would have required all profits go to the Rescue Worker's Widows fund.

written by Alexandria177, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Pop Star Does Not Live up to Her Name

Amy Winehouse has been charged with an assault at a theatre this week and will appear before Magistrates under her married name of Amy Civil.

written by IN SEINE, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Build-A-Bear video brainwashes babies

A new low in the eco-agenda has arrived, just in time for Christmas. Let your kids learn how global warming may end Christmas, as Santa, Mrs. Claus and the elves discuss the loss of the North Pole.

written by Alexandria177, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Is this a joke?

You read all kinds of news on TheSpoof.com website, but this 'gem' was reported by the BBC news website saying that Venice has flooded. Is this news? Or is a joke? Who knows?

written by IN SEINE, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Just A Glance


Man has 2 black eyes after calling wife, Ybba. "I told him never to call me that again." Man shows doctor heart tattoo with Abby in it so he'd remember her name. "Looked at them bass ackwards again!"

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Came From The Wrong Side

Washington state man caught stealing railroad tracks just in time. Was going to melt them down and sell the metal. Passengers upset about delay.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

ACP Buys CNN

The American Communist Party purchases CNN Headline News. Little if no changes expected on programming.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Bernanke Reassuring

Bernanke says he's confident that the US is not about to go into a depression no matter how high the unemployment, on his way for a 10 year family vacation in the Bahamas.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Houses Combine

House of the Blues and International House of Pancakes form a partnership featuring such new items as the "John Belushi Stack Of Ten"!

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Finally A Breakthrough

Two inventors, one in Washington, one in Florida, come up with a way to compare apples and oranges.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Post Office maintains losing streak

Not breaking their close to quarter of a millenium streak, the Post Office lost another $8 billion of your taxes this year. To celebrate, they've hosted $96 a plate dinners for themselves.

written by Alexandria177, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Never A Dull Day Here!

Guards at Corcoran Prison say that still another completely different voice has been coming from Charles Manson's cell since Monday. This time it sounds like Mr. Moose from Captain Kangaroo Show.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Mother-In-Law,Shat The F*** Up!

President Barack Obama once again hit his head when climbing aboard a helicopter this morning and scared his family after suddenly talking like Hulk Hogan.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Got Fired Up!

The Friendsville, Tennessee Fire Department was burned to the ground yesterday by a recently fired employee.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Thrifty Sets The Pace

Thrifty Boosts Mileage: Dollar Thrifty boosts mileage of rental car fleet by fixing top speed limit to 50 MPH. Save over 10,000 gallon of gas, only ha three vehicles ran over.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Myanmar Army In Burma Threatens Thailand's Siam

According to Bangkok's governor, the Myanmar army in neighboring Burma is a force of regional instability and fueling an arms race, especially here in Siam.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Made A Good Show

Copenhagen: No Failure, but just not good enough lip service, say global warming experts.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

"Schumi" returns to F1 racing and declares "I want to die happily!"

Bored to tears with his life outside of F1, "Schumi" has announced his comeback. He also announced his DEATH WISH the ultimate KICK behind the wheel of a F1 car, bets on Schumi winning have stopped!

written by Jaggedone, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Bob Hopes Golf Classic

If Bob Hope was alive today and he had to reply to the Tiger Woods scandal I think he would say: " Look's like Woody will being his Arnold Palmer Solo Mio ! "

written by mancalledhorsemanure, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Pope Stronly Resisted Hitler

Vatican defends move on World War II-era pope, Pope Pius XII. "He once called Hitler a 'bad old meany' says elderly Bishop Hartman.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Center Trying To Block Too Quickly

Photographer shows CIA agents picture he took during Vikings game where Osama Bin Laden was showing Brett Favre how he got intercepted on the previous play.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Truck Wreck

Big Ginsu truck hits slick spot during big Denver snow this morning, jacknifes. No one killed but nearly 200 suffering from cuts and bruises.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Will Reach Pole By 2025

Nation's Eskimo population keep moving north as igloos melt even in winter time.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Previously Drowned Cars Come In Last

According to a new survey, people prefer 'previously owned' cars to both 'used cars' and 'previously wrecked cars'.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

We'll Get Him/Her Yet

The American Broadcasting Company (ABC) say they have made no headway in finding out what person voted for McCain among their employees.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Wouldn't Want To Do Anything Wrong

North Korea, Iran and Somalia say they had never heard of water boarding for confessions. Inquire about copyrights.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Humans Rather Than Meteorite

Scientific research reveals that an asteroid, comet or huge meteor will not destroy the earth, at least not until after we do.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Rumsfeld Admits Misleading People

Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld says that of course he misled people while serving in office. "We have to keep the enemy guessing!"

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Don't Get Me Started!

All non-business Segways recalled as fifty-first person hospitalized after laughing bursts artery.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Bean Fight

Dozens of shoppers injured in fight as grocery store announces "three cans of beans for a buck, no limit" over intercom.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Franken Shocked

New Senator Al Franken stated today that he was shocked to learn that we were all crooks. "I thought that was just part of our comedy routines on SNL."

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Poor Sales

A spokesperson for the AARP Magazine has announced that they will no longer be issuing a swimsuit edition.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Mice Running Amuk

Human brain cells injected into mice have them humping other mice like crazy. Scientists quickly sterilize them.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Where's Biden?

VP Joe Biden once again found playing and hiding under desk in war room. Keys taken away.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Obama Wins "George W. Bush" Award

President Obama: The reason this country is so in debt is because it pays out more that it brings in.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Could Do It!

The United States and Russia study going back to the Cold War in order to stop global warming. Consult with Britain, France China and East/West Germany.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Mrs Grinch

Barrister facing jail for stealing £85,000 from child charities, church boxes for the poor & needy, selling family pets, to pay for her daughter's private school.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Woman Arrested For Threats

Kristy Lee Roshia: Woman who threatened to 'blow away' Michelle Obama is held, after being caught huffing and puffing nearby.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

No Garbage Collections?

Householders facing a month without recycling bin collections raising quite a stink.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Whoops! Hold On!

Ryanair plane skids off runway at Prestwick Airport after hitting ice. Pilot reports: We went through a bad patch back there.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Drugs In Water

AP Enterprise: Feds mull regulating drugs in water. May soon need a doctor's prescription to drink water.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Job Growth Coming

Treasury Secretary Geithner: Job growth should resume by springtime. Not certain which year.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Extra Precautions

Feds address concerns about safety of Ill. prison, digging moat filled with Piranhas around outside walls before any transfers from Gitmo arrive.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

A Different Dr. Watson

A sexy Dr. Watson? Jude Law says it's elementary. Apparently he especially had the hots for Mrs. Hudson, the landlady.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Blackberry Problems

Blackberry users struggle with e-mail outage, hard seeds catching in colon polyps causing diverticulitis.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Children As Work Slaves

Report says 225,000 Haiti children work as slaves as somebody finally noticed it, after 25 years.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Watching Storm

Storm plods through West, Midwest. Predicted to next hit Mideast, then the East.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Naked Cycling Is Permitted in New Zealand

Naked cycling in New Zealand is okay provided you wear a helmet to protect the head. However, it is not clear which head should be protected.

written by norma snockers, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Couple marries at Corpus Christi Airport

"My God, what a slow damn news day.", said John Malcolm, a stringer for the AP. "I can't believe they're running with this piece, I had just sent it in as a joke."

written by Alexandria177, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Brittany Murphy dies of "natural causes"

Heart failure being the natural cause of every death in history, that is. Of course, that such heart failure can be had by drugs, anorexia, or diabetes should not be speculated upon.

written by Alexandria177, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Balloon boy parents fined $42,000

For costing the government so much, these taxpayers must pay the government back. This in contrast to the FAA costing the taxpayers $5 million on a party, an amount they will not be paying back.

written by Alexandria177, 23 December 2009
Rating:

FAA throws $5 million party

In response to complaints about taxpayer funding of corporate excess, Obama is presiding over government excess as well.

written by Alexandria177, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Olivia Robinson of Sesame Street dies

There will be a memorial service sponsored by the letter "D" and the number "7". Cookies will be served.

written by Alexandria177, 23 December 2009
Rating:

The real "Rain Man" dies

His age was the square root of 3,364, when his heart that had beat 2,438,784,348 times gave out the same day that Anastasius I, Bishop of Rome in 401 died. His K-mart underwear bought 1/7/98 was on.

written by Alexandria177, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Maine considers cell phone warning labels

The Maine legislature is foolishly considering accusing cell phones of possibly causing brain cancer, just because the phones emit radiation beamed straight into your brain.

written by Alexandria177, 23 December 2009
Rating:

HP webcams racist

Responding to claims of racism, the new HP webcams do track black faces...track, take down and beat up. The cams then self-destruct, burning down the black person's house.

written by Alexandria177, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Church of England priest robbed

Reverend Jones, who preached a sermon saying that shoplifting was okay if you only took what you needed, has been robbed. He found his house emptied, and a note left saying, "We needed it.".

written by Alexandria177, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Yogi: Baseball Different

"Everything was different in baseball back in my day", says Yogi Berra. "The drug we took was alcohol and it sure didn't enhance our performance in the least."

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Shit, Or Get Off Pot

Jordan's King Abdullah tells Obama that his country is caught between Iraq and a hard place.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Wealthy Leaving

Sign of recovery in November, home sales improve as thousands of wealthy US citizens sell cheap and flee the country before new taxes come into effect.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

"I'll Be There!"

Osama Bin Laden receives summons to appear in court in the trial of Gitmo detainees.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Another Mexican Drug Tunnel Closed

DEA closes down Mexican drug smuggling tunnel as 75 seniors caught bringing cheap prescription medicine back to US.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

"Scattering Like Roaches"

Nixon considered the use of an A-Bomb, tapes reveal, but hippies began moving out of San Francisco.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Rabbits Hare Off To Africa

FDA Approves of Viagra for rabbits and sends two to 15 African and island nations. Declares end of hunger by Spring.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

Too Much Reality

FOX drops new reality show, "A Revisit To The Hatfields & McCoys" after three shot dead.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

A Bad Sign

There was one major scare today as a coo coo bird came out of the Doomsday Clock.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
Rating:

No Such Thing

According to an interview with the Supreme Grand Wizard, the KKK no longer even exists.

written by Bureau, 23 December 2009
« Nov 2009 December 2009 Jan 2010 »
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84
4th
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6th
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8th
115
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10th
95
11th
86
12th
137
13th
90
14th
82
15th
97
16th
99
17th
65
18th
80
19th
84
20th
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24th
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