Order by:
Rating:

Serena Williams Announces Penning of New Book

Promises if you don't buy it she will club you with her racket.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Goldman Sachs Executives Won't Get 2009 Cash Bonus

Instead the 2010 bonus will be doubled.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Eat On The Poop Deck!

Caribbean Cruises introduces the "Eat All You Want", get the ship shits, and still lose weight, cruises with rough waters cuisine.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

KFC's Free Range Chicken

Free range chicken limited in their environment as many more turn up on restaurant menus.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Tiger Quits PGA; Joins LPGA

Says he is looking forward to being in a foursome with Pressel, Kerr and Blomqvist.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Polar bears say, "Chill out, man."

A spokesbear has released a statement in which it is asked that people not fight against global warming or melting ice caps. "Any idea how cold it's been up here?", he asked. "Leave it alone."

written by Alexandria177, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Cable, Not Kelly Hired as Notre Dame Coach

Both were in the same office when the announcement was made of the Kelly hiring. Reports have Cable knocking out the ND Athletic Director and announcing himself as coach and Al Davis as the new AD.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Asian Carp to Invade Great Lakes

Michigan files law suit to stop them.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Gays Change Of Heart

Married Gays regretting it big time as constant complaint, "You don't OWN Mr, Mister!"

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Also "When Will I Be More To Love?"

Linda Ronstadt, now 240 pounds, opens fundraiser with "A Different Bum!"

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Bin Laden Addresses Copenhagen

Today's guest speaker at Copenhagen: Osama Bin Laden. "How To Use Few Carbon Footprints By Living In A Cave!"

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

We Need More Wome Astronauts

Female astronauts encouraged to help change piss into water machine into making milkshakes.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Guantanamo Prisoners More Dangerous Now

U.S. troops at Guantanamo say that detainees there more dangerous than ever since developing gills after two years of water boarding.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Terrorists Using "Dog Ass" Again

Airport searchers say new "Instant Dog Ass" spray confusing the dogs they use to sniff out drugs, bombs.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

One, Two Punch!

President hoping that Kwanzaa sales on December 26thm, the day after Christmas this year, will help get economy jumping.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Production Of Hops Up!

Experts say that the sale of alcohol and the number of people going to movies are up, just like during the depression. Hop farmers say they've seen a jump in production.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Things Are Tough All Over

Indian casinos report number of victims...visitors down. Few Chinese bow & arrows being sold.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Scotland declare war on England for attempting to nick their "holy water"

Scotland and England are officially at war, the English have attempted to make SCOTCH, Scottish rebels, well pissed are gathering on Hadrians Wall lead by Sir Johnnie Walker, I prefer black please!

written by Jaggedone, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Mideast Truce Ends

Massive shoe exchange on the West Bank brings 12-hour truce between Israelis and Palestinians to an end!

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

"Road Beef" is New Acronymn for Tiger's Gal Pals

It certainly brings a new image to mind compared to the older and more commonly used "overcooked snapper".

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

O'Bama Expands "No Child Left Behind" Program

President O'Bama announced he is expanding the "No Child Left Behind" program to include young adults. It will now be referred to as "No Underachiever Left Without A Worthless University Degree".

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

What with new carbon taxes, new punative taxes, and Obama still giving big handouts to Wall Street

- we needn't be worried about having reduced Medicare coverage - we will be wasted away by new taxes.

written by Tcoah, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Obama cleans up the "PEACES" in Oslo, WHY?

Oslo today honoured the fab US President, nobody apart from the fine and "Nobel" know why, Bin Laden has protested by again blowing Baghdad into a thousand "PEACES"

written by Jaggedone, 10 December 2009
Rating:

If you see a firework going off in the MidWest - just know

you are witnessing another American small business bite the dust under "Obama Care".

written by Tcoah, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Even Putin Says Obama is Screwing up the US economy

what's left of it

written by Tcoah, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Give the President 'more time' to fix the economy

as in 'screw up the US economy' thereby rendering it 'prime for further government takeover'.

written by Tcoah, 10 December 2009
Rating:

If you r an American and still have a job this time next year

Either you are working for the government or you emigrated out of the USA

written by Tcoah, 10 December 2009
Rating:

'If you got no one'

President Obama has a tax lined up for you.

written by Tcoah, 10 December 2009
Rating:

'Change that we can believe in'

American small businesses are going to the wall - under Obama's 'watchful caring eye'. And so go American jobs.

written by Tcoah, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Obama Cares 'more or less' depending on the subject matter

President Obama is to American small business what a plant eater is to eating raw meat.

written by Tcoah, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Copenhagen - how snow of you

Hey, better Copenhagen than the snow blizzards sweeping across America's MidWest.

written by Tcoah, 10 December 2009
Rating:

O'Bama Redefines Nobel Peace Prize

says war is peace and peace is war, thereby making him the man for all political parties regardless of ideology. Accordingly, the mind boggled Oslo's gave him the trophy.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Statue Miracle A Sign?

Thousands of the faithful surround the farting statue of Tiger Woods. "It's a miracle!", says golf addict.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

US To Supply WMD's

President Obama says that troops may not leave Iraq, Afghanistan until we give them enough WMD to defend themselves.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

"Yes It Is!"

The Rolling Stones new album, "The AARP Is On My Side" selling well to AARP members.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Rosetta Stone gets real

Rosetta Stone has released a teach yourself Tourettes course.

It's fucking great !!!!

written by Philip McArthur, 10 December 2009
Rating:

They Know They've Had It!

"Open Bottom" long-handled underwear is trying to hush me up", claims a very nervous Al Gore.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

A Classic Emerges

A new film has surfaced that shows Marilyn Monroe smoking pot, aging Groucho Marx sitting on one.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Willing To Share With Government

The Pfizer Company, makers of Viagra, award their CEO with a huge boner.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

UK Politicians Prepare to Leave Earth.

Most United Kingdom politicians are preparing to leave the Earth by creating the UK Space Agency. Most are not on this planet anyway! Besides there is such a bad atmosphere with the electorate.

written by IN SEINE, 10 December 2009
Rating:

"Had A Cold, Man"

David Crosby fans concerned he's back on the dope as he mostly barked throughout his show with Graham Nash last night.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Never Be A Politician

Man who was finally cured of fear of public speaking stutters his way through tomato barrage!

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Lincoln To Get Lobotomy

The top of Abraham Lincoln's head to be removed as sacred Indian Burial site discovered on Mount Rushmore!

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Get The Diapers Ready!

The Rolling Stones are back on the road as Keith Richards nearly covered with moss. The "It's All Over Now" tour to begin in the Spring.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Another Medical First

Team of surgeons successfully remove woman's penis. Claims she doesn't know how it ever got in there to begin with, "shouldn't have waited this long".

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Here $100, Get Them Off The Air!

National Public Television's latest money raising 2 weeks will feature the get-together of those things in Charles Manson's head. No one knows what will happen but many expected to give money to them.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Russians on their latest ICBM rocket launch failure

"It doesn't work."

written by Tcoah, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Hillary Clinton Converts - Now a Muslim

Hillary Clinton converted from Jewish Fraudster to Mohammedan Flockster. When asked by reporters "why the switch", Hillary said she asked Mohammad to show her the money. He did, and now they are one.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Who Speaks for Thomas the Tank Engine?

Fearing it may never fire up its boiler again, Thomas the Tank Engine worries that global warming theorists and the UN will shut it down for good

written by Tcoah, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Mortgage Lending Up

Mortgage lending hits highest level in two years as Bank keeps interest rates on hold at 0.5%. Yet to see any payments.


written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Blue Light Explained

Mystery solved? Norway's spiral light display 'was down to a failed Russian Bulava missile test' "Missed UFO completely", states military expert.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Tipovers Dangerous

Flatscreen TV owners, farmers with cows warning following rise in number of children injured by 'tip-overs'

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

BBC Under Fire!

BBC under fire from viewers over 'watered down' quality of HD channels. "Need more water when under fire", argues BBC.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Baby Face A Genius

University challenge: Baby-faced 12-year-old genius starts maths degree, string of bank robberies. Young Nelson no kin to Willie, say police.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Don't Drink & Ski

'Don't drink and ski': Britons told to stay sober after rash of fatal tree hugs.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

They've Nothing Else To Do

Police fury as officers are banned from changing lightbulbs or ordering toiler paper without filling out forms. "Too much toilet paper wastes trees", say officials.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Grandma Hoodie Caught

Arthritic great-grandmother ordered to remove 'hoodie' in shopping center yob crackdown. Says she's the grandmother of all yobs!


written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Elin Woods Recieves Apologies

Elin Woods receives an apology at last, not from Tiger, but from mistress number three, rainy day women #12 & 35.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Facts On Tax

Pre-Budget report: Bankers, those running businesses, hiring workers, plan mass exodus from London to avoid Darling's supertax on bonuses.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

More Expensives

MPs expenses: How Gordon Brown claimed £2,700 to redecorate his downstairs toilet and turd collection.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Woods Scandal A Boost!

Woods scandal a boon to Internet publications! However, no one on TheSpoof has sunk so low as to report on this.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Announcement: Solar Energy Now Available

Solar power coming to a store near you. Scientists say glass windows can help bring in the sun's heat, tight in your own home, automobile!

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Ruling On Polanski Case

Court to rule if Polanski can fight case from afar, or, in case of death, a fire!

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

We're Never Wrong!

1,700 UK scientists back climate science, that there's a Plesiosaur that still lurks in Loch Ness, last Coelacanth disappeared ten million years ago.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Finally Figured It Out

WWII veteran had Hitler's art book, framed photo of himself, on bookshelf all these years. "If only I had known they were his."

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Poor Math

Obama: Afghanistan troop drawdown won't be steep. Still, US should be out in three years.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Money Is The Answer

State reports from all programs call for more state funding, every last one of them.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

We're Ready For It

Frigid temperatures follow heavy snow into Midwest as millions say they will fight FOR global warming!

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Calif. Prison Riot

Officials: Gang rivalry, performance by Adam Lambert on TV led to California prison riot.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

"Low Cost Could Ruin Us!"

Showdown vote nears on importing low-cost drugs as thousands of drug dealers sweat it out.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

College Higher, Less Important!

College Degrees More Expensive, Worth Less in Job Market as many going back to the old school of hard knocks.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Ahh Chihuahua!

California has more Chihuahuas than it can handle, and it has Hollywood to blame. "It was those stupid 'Taco Bell Dog' commercials."

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

No More Import Drugs?

Showdown vote nears on importing low-cost drugs, walls to keep US citizens out of Canada, Mexico, oceans.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Mars, Moon Have Peace

Speaker at Copenhagen says nuclear weapons, not global warming, may get the final Nobel Peace Prize as "peace will come when we're all dead."

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Peace Via War

President Obama says sending in 30,000 more troops are all a part of winning the Nobel Peace Price. "We are trying to keep peace by sending our soldiers everywhere.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

O'Bama Set For Oslo For Peace Prize Ceremony

Will depart Oslo for two week tour with military generals for war reviews in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Woods Says He Feared Being Wanted Only For Fame

So instead, Woods proceeded carefully and found a ton of better gal pals who wanted only his MONEY.

Doh!

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

O'Bama Calls For Bipartisan Effort To Create Jobs

Er... didn't he mean "Bipartisan Effort To Create More Welfare?

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Ukraine Cuts $ 2.5B Arms Deal With Iraq

US Taxpayer monies used to fund Iraq.

'Tis the Season to be Jolly, fa la la la la la la la la.

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

US Treasury Announces $ 100B in losses to AIG and Auto Companies

Of course in the announcement they forgot to say that the losses were those of the taxpayers.

'Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la, la la la la.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

written by Richard DagNabbit, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Global Warming Soon

Copenhagen Conference: We have six months to get ready, as it will begin warm-up that soon.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

He's Gone Off!

Former Vice President Cheney says he's tired of pacemakers, going to see the Wizard.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Contain Lead

Chinese-made lead mine detectors are now being recalled from Middle East.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Getting The Cold Shoulder

Hearse driver, undertaker, director say that their clients are just like family to them...especially the wives.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Just Like Fake Ski Snow

Shell Oil announced today that they have perfected a way to make artificial glaciers!

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Didn't Really Think It Through

Surprise birthday party shout and light give mine remover a heart attack in Afghanistan.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Family Way Eats

New Family Way Restaurant opening in Nashville, Tennessee specializes in ice cream, pickles.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Look! A Spider!

Big Tobacco: We don't have time to worry about silly chemicals in cigarettes when global warming is going to get us all!

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

24-Hour Protection

Milwaukee man who was supposed to have 24-hour protection has been found dead in Utah, with a bottle of roll-on deodorant stuffed up his ass.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Paul Harvey Missing

Harvey, one of the Keebler elves, is missing after going out to take a leak last night. Plant manager believes an owl got him.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Wart Remover A Bonus!

Ambulances in the southern US are ordered to have at least one faith-healer aboard who can stop blood.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

No Lucky Penny

Bum in park overheard saying, "This lucky penny I found in that dog poo ain't worth shit."

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Just Being Neighborly

In North Carolina, the mummified remains of a man was found by police after next door neighbor said he noticed newspapers and mail had completely covered the man's front porch.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Segway Speed Record

Bridgeport, Connecticut man sets segway speed record after shirt gets snagged on passing pickup truck.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
Rating:

Clones From Mexico?

Mexico objects to US cloning saying clones will work for food and a place to sleep only. Come to think of it, that's what we do.

written by Bureau, 10 December 2009
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