Texas Governor Greg Abbott Named The Biggest Asshole Governor of All-Time
DIME BOX, Texas – (Satire News) – People who know Greg Abbott personally say off-the-record, that he is the meanest, cruelest, most heartless, despicable person since Adolf Hitler; actually according to many political pundits, G.A. is a close second…
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Texas Warns That The Dreaded Chupacabra Could Be Carrying The Coronavirus
AUSTIN – The Guild of Lone Star State Veterinarians has issued an emergency directive regarding the legendary folkloric creature known as La Chupacabra. The name Chupacabra literally means 'goat sucker', and the animal was first spotted in Texas i...
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Boy's Wal-Mart Telescope Shames Hubble
DUMAS, Tx - James McBride, a 14 year old amateur astronomer from Dumas, Texas, has captured a stunning image of a four-nebula cluster he has nicknamed "Face of God." The Texas panhandle resident captured the image using nothing more than a disposabl...
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Governor Greg Abbott of Texas Named The Ugliest-Looking Governor In The Entire Nation
PHOENIX, Arizona - (Satire News) – Surprisingly the Republican publication GOPicky Magazine has just named conservative governor Greg Abbott of Texas, as The Ugliest-Looking Governor In The United States. The evil, heartless, SOB, easily beat out…
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A Very Sexy Ex-Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Has Been Elected Sheriff of Galveston County
GALVESTON, Texas - (Satire News) - A hot, sexy, sensuous woman, who was a member of The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, has just been elected sheriff of Galveston County. Libby Upperweather, who stands 5-foot-6-inches, weighs 119-pounds, and proudly p…
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Popular Porn Star Ariana Marie Has Decided To Run For Governor of Texas
DALLAS – (Satire News) - One of the pornographic world's most popular actresses has decided that she is throwing her 38-DD bra into the ring. Ariana Marie has starred in such epic porn movies as “Gang Bangin' Up In Bangor”, “The Bikini Line Tattoo…
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Texas Approves Book-Burning
New Orleans Quarterback Drew Brees Announces His Political Intentions
Horses Genetically Engineered To Have Cupholders
Bush Offers Mexico for West Bank and Gaza, Gets Ticket for Driving Without Seatbelt
Texas School Principal: 'I spanked her cheatin ass!'
Texas School Officials Sentence Autistic Child with Tourette's Syndrome to Life in Detention After He Mangled the Pledge of Allegiance
Gov. Greg Abbott of Texas Has Just Used a Hell of a Lot of State Taxpayers Money To Pay For His Brand New Customized $487,000 Wheel Chair
Texas Governor Greg “Eggplant Face” Abbott Given a Ticket For Speeding (While in His Wheel Chair)
Border Patrol K-9 Veteran "Pistolero" Named The US Border Patrol Dog of The Year
Texas Legislature Orders Sperm Emissions to be Buried or Creamated
Texas Is Crushing Voting Rights
Insects to Blame for Fires in Southwest
Traffic Cone to Retire After Twelve Years of Hard Labor
Interstate 40, Amarillo, Texas -- After twelve years of public service, the Department of Transportation has announced the retirement of one of the agency's most durable traffic cones. "It's a sad day today," highway worker, Mike Davey, said as he...
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Tijuana's World Famous The Las Maracas Wedding Chapel Is The Only One In Mexico That Is Open 24-Hours a Day
TIJUANA, Mexico - (Satire News) - Mexico's Ole News Agency reports that the world famous Las Maracas Wedding Chapel is the only one in the Republic of Mexico that is open 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. The chapel which is owned by the same famil…
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Texas Governor Greg Abbott Has Just Offended Millions of Divorced Adulterous Texans
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The governor who is without a shadow of a doubt the worst governor in the entire nation is at it again. Governor Greg “Eggplant Face” Abbott, has just issued a state proclamation that any resident of Texas who got divorced…
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If Texas Governor Greg Abbott Worked Making Burgers At McDonald's His Hate-Filled Ass Would Have Been Fired The First Day
AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - iNews has reported that Texas governor Gregg "The Hick Dick" Abbott is about as worthless as a breeding bull with no ding dong. The poor excuse for a human is so stupid that his own mother took him to a fire station…
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Bonnie & Clyde's Personal Belongings Are Auctioned Off
NASHUA, New Hampshire - Two of the most notorious outlaws of the Great Depression Era were Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow. The two Texas natives wreaked havoc and terror across the Great Southwest by robbing banks, savings & loans, Piggly Wigg...
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Texas Governor Greg Abbott To Be Forcibly Removed From Office
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The good, law abiding citizens of the Lone Star state have finally had their fill of the the worst, most worthless, piece-of-shit governor in the history of US governors. Greg “Eggplant Face” Abbott is hated more than hoof…
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Texas Asshole Gov. Greg "Douche Bag" Abbott Busses Immigrants To D.C. - Biden Then Busses Them Back To Texas
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The governor of Texas, the wheelchair-bound piece of kangaroo shit, Greg "The Eggplant" Abbott once again shows that he is by far, the undisputed most stupid, idiotic, fucked up governor in the history of governors.
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George W. Bush Signs Bill that Cecedes Texas from the Rest of the US
Austin, TX- It's official: George W. Bush has pulled another fast one, this time on the people of Texas. With only a few days left in second term as Commander in Chief, President Bush wanted to be aboslutely certain that his administration will go...
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Whataburger reveals the Winner of their $1 million WhataWine Contest
(SPOOF SATIRE) - The Whataburger corporation has just announced the winner of their $1 Million WhataWine Contest. The contest was open to any Whataburger customer who purchased even a simple order of WhataFries. A spokesperson for the "Big Oran…
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Cheryl Cole and Liz Hurley star in The X-Rated Movie "Hot, Sexy Romps In Texas"
HOLLYWOOD - (Spoof News) - LaLaLand Daily writer Willow Tulsa writes that two of the hottest cougars in the entertainment industry have teamed up to co-star in an X-rated motion picture. Cheryl Cole and Liz Hurley star in the Staccato Monteverdi d…
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Texas Nude Maid Service Being Looked Into By The Texas Rangers
LUBBOCK - The Texas panhandle city of Lubbock is noted for sorghum, tumbleweeds, prairie dogs, Texas Tech University, and for being the birthplace of Buddy Holly. But today, it is making national and international headlines due to the fact that T...
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The State of Texas Discontinues The Practice of Giving Death Row Inmates Who Are To Be Executed Their "Last Meal" Request
HUNTSVILLE, Texas - Convicted criminal Lawrence Russell Brewer was convicted of a crime so horribly heinous that it cannot even be mentioned in a family publication. The state of Texas has historically allowed any convict who is getting ready to b...
Read full storyFunny Texas Headlines
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Traffic Cone to Retire After Twelve Years of Hard Labor
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The State of Texas Discontinues The Practice of Giving Death Row Inmates Who Are To Be Executed Their "Last Meal" Request
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Texas Nude Maid Service Being Looked Into By The Texas Rangers
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Ted Cruz Nude Pics Crash Internet
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Popular Porn Star Ariana Marie Has Decided To Run For Governor of Texas
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Texas Governor Greg Abbott Named The Biggest Asshole Governor of All-Time
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Texas Asshole Gov. Greg "Douche Bag" Abbott Busses Immigrants To D.C. - Biden Then Busses Them Back To Texas
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A Very Sexy Ex-Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Has Been Elected Sheriff of Galveston County
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Whataburger reveals the Winner of their $1 million WhataWine Contest
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Cheryl Cole and Liz Hurley star in The X-Rated Movie "Hot, Sexy Romps In Texas"
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Boy's Wal-Mart Telescope Shames Hubble
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George W. Bush Signs Bill that Cecedes Texas from the Rest of the US
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Bonnie & Clyde's Personal Belongings Are Auctioned Off
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Texas Warns That The Dreaded Chupacabra Could Be Carrying The Coronavirus
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Governor Greg Abbott of Texas Named The Ugliest-Looking Governor In The Entire Nation
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Texas Governor Greg Abbott Has Just Offended Millions of Divorced Adulterous Texans
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Texas Governor Greg Abbott To Be Forcibly Removed From Office
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If Texas Governor Greg Abbott Worked Making Burgers At McDonald's His Hate-Filled Ass Would Have Been Fired The First Day
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Russia's Putin Annexes Texas
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Tijuana's World Famous The Las Maracas Wedding Chapel Is The Only One In Mexico That Is Open 24-Hours a Day
