Trump to be named "King of Texas" on November 9th

Written by thomas o'hanlon

Saturday, 22 October 2016

image for Trump to be named "King of Texas" on November 9th
"I LOVE THE CATHOLICS"

Aware of the inevitable outcome of the election of November the 8th, Donald Trump has decided to become the King of Texas. "Not only will we build a wall on our southern border" he told a rapt crowd at Arlington stadium "but we will also build one around the city of Austin to keep those faggots in."

The Lone Star flag prominently waved from all sections of the stadium accentuating the complete absence of the star spangled banner.

"I will welcome the wave of refugees of Catholics that will be fleeing the persecution of Hillary. I love the Catholics! We will give them guns as they cross the border. A gun bearing Catholic is a stupendous friend. If the Catholics had guns in Ireland back in the day we might all be speaking Gaelic today. Love that language, it is an amazing and stupendous language!"

Trump went on to add that if the waves of Catholic refugees swells the population he is willing to expand into Oklahoma, New Mexico, Louisiana, and Arkansas.

"and won't that be ironic, when I ban the Clintons from their home state. Nasty people." he told the cheering crowd. "and if my history is correct I believe Mexico was once part of Texas no? Maybe we'll annex Mexico and build a much cheaper wall across Guatemala. How many Catholics are in Mexico? Does anybody know? I do. A stupendous amount. A stupendous amount of future gun bearing Clinton hating Catholics. We get rid of the rapists, drug dealers and those stupid mules wearing those idiotic Mexican blankets and a straw hat!"

The Bush family has given Mr. Trump their backing in exchange for the appointment of George Jr. as court jester. Ted Cruz and family cannot be found and are thought to be in hiding or dead.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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