Crawford, Texas - In a move to solve the every lasting Middle East conflict United States President George Bush offered Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon the country of Mexico in trade for the West Bank and Gaza Strip regions. Bush also promised Sharon financial aid to help relocate the Jewish settlements.
The five-year plan includes giving all Mexicans U.S. citizenship. President Bush cut a deal with California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Texas Governor Rick Perry that will allow the relocation of millions of Mexicans into those two states freeing up all properties between the Mexican borders.
Bush explained the plan just minutes after being pulled over by Texas State Trooper Abdul Ali and receiving two citations for operating a motor vehicle without a seatbelt and defeating safety equipment by connecting the seatbelt behind the seat. Bush declared the citations "acts of terrorism" and swore to check the troopers name against known terrorist lists when he returned to Washington.
Trooper Ali contends that Bush was verbally abusive during the routine traffic stop and made threats and comments that included racial overtones such as "shouldn't you be working at a convenience store?" and "I'll have your job for this."
Trooper Ali said he also observed Bush and Sharon trying to swap seats to make it appear Sharon was driving in a move to claim diplomatic immunity. Foreign dignitaries are exempt from paying traffic violations while on official business in the United States.
Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, who also was not wearing a seatbelt at the time, had no comment about the incident but did say he would return to the US for the Presidents court date if Bush wanted him to testify as a witness to the ordeal.
Sharon said the land offer was "worth looking into" and he would take the offer back to Israel and present the offer to his people for a formal vote. "The offer is very generous, there is a lot of good land in that region and the vacation resort possibilities are endless."
Bush claimed the move would make good sense for everyone involved. "The Jewish people would have a "homeland" the US would spend billions less on border patrol, and the Mexicans want US citizenship anyway. Its just good politics."
