PHOENIX, Arizona - (Satire News) – Surprisingly the Republican publication GOPicky Magazine has just named conservative governor Greg Abbott of Texas, as The Ugliest-Looking Governor In The United States.
The evil, heartless, SOB, easily beat out fellow governor Ron “Sandpaper Face” DeSantis of the Plywood State (Florida).
When told about his new title, Abbott, who is wheel chair-bound due to a vulture attack several years ago, smiled and said that he knows of at least seven other governors who are more uglier than him.
[EDITOR’S NOTE: Nope, ‘fraid not fella, you be the ugliest; hands down].
When Abbott asked what his monetary prize is, he was told that there is no cash prize, but he was informed that he will be getting a $15 gift certificate for a 16-ounce family-sized tube of Preparation H.
SIDENOTE: Stand up comedian Zydeco Dupree said that one of the ugliest females he has ever seen is Roseanne Barr. He then commented that if Gov. Abbott and Roseanne had a baby girl, it would probably look as ugly as Marjorie Taylor Greene.