Ted Cruz Nude Pics Crash Internet

Written by Wayne Davis

Monday, 20 October 2014

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Senator's Nude Pics Blow Up Internet

Internet providers scambled on Monday to get their servers back on line after nude photos of Sen. Ted Cruz were posted on line by a Hollywood Gossip site.

The photos (so graphic that they caused projectile vomiting by some internet users) where only visible a short while before their very exsistance collapsed the world wide web.

"Those photos were worse than the grossest episode of The Walking Dead ever made" said 20 year old Skip Nelson from Dallas. "It was so Chewbacaish,I almost threw up right in 5th period".

Skip was not the only innocent viewer caught with their mouth full of vomit, 28 year old mother of 2 Donna Jones of Dusty Springs almost fainted at her home on Cumberland Court after just a glimpse of Cruz's nude image. "I'm a Christian, but that, that was pure evil" that photo, all of those photos are the devils wet farts".

Sen. Cruz refused to comment on the photos but sources close to the Sen. say the photos were taken years ago at a drunken keg party in Fort Lauderdale while Cruz was there for Spring Break. It was shortly after that when Broward County outlawed Spring Break and tore down most of the slimy motels along the A1A Highway.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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