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Funny satire stories about Texas

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Funny story: New Laws Have A Point (that will be pressed into your stomach)

New Laws Have A Point (that will be pressed into your stomach)

In an attempt to combat the relentless stream of mass shootings the God fearing state of Texas has decided that, from September, it will be perfectly legal to carry swords and knives openly on the street. We at Back and to the Left news hope that in...

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Funny story: Texas Legislature Orders Sperm Emissions to be Buried or Creamated

Texas Legislature Orders Sperm Emissions to be Buried or Creamated

AUSTIN--Gov. Greg Abbott signed into law what the Texas legislature has deemed the "Save Our Sperm Law," which, Abbott said after signing the legislation, "will give voice to the unconcepted among us." The new law (in part an addition to Texas Adm...

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Funny story: Texas Requires Men Who Masturbate To Have Burial Services For ALL Of Thier Unborn Children

Texas Requires Men Who Masturbate To Have Burial Services For ALL Of Thier Unborn Children

In Earth, Texas, 15 year old Jess Mobley is like a lot of teenage boys: he plays sports and likes video games, and like other boys his age, he masturbates a lot and often has wet dreams--but under new "Sanctity of Life" laws already enacted in Texas,...

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Funny story: Trump to be named "King of Texas" on November 9th

Trump to be named "King of Texas" on November 9th

Aware of the inevitable outcome of the election of November the 8th, Donald Trump has decided to become the King of Texas. "Not only will we build a wall on our southern border" he told a rapt crowd at Arlington stadium "but we will also build one a...

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Funny story: Austin To Secede From Texas, Join California

Austin To Secede From Texas, Join California

The blog site "Rest-of-Texas-sucks. Com," an Austin based site, sneeringly refers to the remainder of Texas outside Austin as "A land of big oil, big business, big cars, big men with big mouths, big guns, big bigoted morons, and big-haired women who...

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Funny story: After Brexit, Texas mulls "Texit"

After Brexit, Texas mulls "Texit"

DALLAS - Emboldened by Great Britain's decision to exit the European Union, the Texas legislature is gearing up to consider a bill that would allow the Lone Star State to exit the United States. Texas State Sen. Adam Philbin said the bill, calling...

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Funny story: How Texas has Standing to Challenge DAPA (Deferred Action for Parents of Americans and Lawful Residents)

How Texas has Standing to Challenge DAPA (Deferred Action for Parents of Americans and Lawful Residents)

WASHINGTON, DC- This fall, the Supreme Court is expected to issue a ruling in United States v. Texas, a case in which a coalition of twenty-six states including Texas, challenged President Obama's executive action that provided temporary relief to ne...

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Funny story: 800-Pound MALL Alligator Emails The Spoof

800-Pound MALL Alligator Emails The Spoof

The gator (nicknamed Godzilla) nabbed outside a Houston-area mall has a lot to say about humans. Here are some direct quotes from his email to The Spoof: -- "They muzzled me, which is why I'm using email for all my communications at this point. Phooey." -- "They blasted my weight all over the Internet. What nerve! I plan to sue for invasion of privacy." -- "I was just minding my own busin...

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Funny story: Erskine Quint steams into Texas with smoking barrels!

Erskine Quint steams into Texas with smoking barrels!

British Aristocrat, mercurial stud, brilliantly intelligent and super athlete, Erskine Quint, has been invited to Harlingen, Texas, for a showdown with the local gun-slingers! It is a well know fact that Yanks love British eccentricity and could n...

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Funny story: Getting God Back in School

Getting God Back in School

A disclaimer: I first published this in the mid-1980's in a college newspaper, as a graduate student at the University of Kentucky. I guess what goes around comes around! What's all this fuss about Accuracy in Academia? My acquaintance, the ren...

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Funny story: Three States Begin Talk of Secession Over Marriage Equality

Three States Begin Talk of Secession Over Marriage Equality

No doubt the Marriage Equality ruling by the Supreme Court has angered state lawmakers across the United States. Some however, are taking their opposition of the ruling to the next level and are now considering secession. Texas, Louisiana, and So...

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Funny story: Texas to make Blasphemy a Capital Offense

Texas to make Blasphemy a Capital Offense

AUSTIN (Kitteh Network News) After a weekend full of harsh criticism on the internet for advising state employees to ignore the Supreme Court ruling in favor of marriage equality, Governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton wasted no time in...

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Funny story: Super Duper Trooper Terrorizes African-American teens at a swimming pool party in Tex-Ass

Super Duper Trooper Terrorizes African-American teens at a swimming pool party in Tex-Ass

McKINNEY, Texas - A mean-spirited, psychopathic cop in Texas terrorized black teens at a swimming pool party and then posted the video of his brutalizing meltdown to his own YouTube account, dubbing the video a training video. All I can say is WEL...

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Funny story: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Called in to Ward Off Government Invasion of Texas

Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Called in to Ward Off Government Invasion of Texas

DALLAS, TX--Gov. Greg Abbott, fearing an invasion by the federal government this week, called in the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders to ward off what many in the Loon Star State believe is an invasion designed to take over Texas and force all of its unins...

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Funny story: Texas School Officials Sentence Autistic Child with Tourette's Syndrome to Life in Detention After He Mangled the Pledge of Allegiance

Texas School Officials Sentence Autistic Child with Tourette's Syndrome to Life in Detention After He Mangled the Pledge of Allegiance

Stephenville, TX-Ten year old Ronnie Rae Simmons, who suffers from Asperger's, Tourette's Syndrome, and Dyslexia, may well spend the rest of his life in detention, if school officials at Audie Murphy Elementary have anything to say about it. The elev...

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Funny story: Blows To The Head Make 9-Year-Old A Man

Blows To The Head Make 9-Year-Old A Man

The NFL runs "Moms Clinics" through an operation called "USA Football." It targets moms who determine which sport their kids will play. It is an effort to show that children's football is safe. But kid football isn't safe. As background, Pop Warn...

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Funny story: Wendy 'Strap-On' Davis Gets a Hard-On For Dildo Sales in Texas

Wendy 'Strap-On' Davis Gets a Hard-On For Dildo Sales in Texas

AUSTIN, TX - As the race for governor in the great state of Texas inches closer to a climax on November 4, Wendy Davis claims frontrunner Greg Abbott is waging a war on dildos. Davis thrust the subject into the pubic, er, public spotlight this we...

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