James Blunt 'One Show' Performance Made Viewer's Ears Bleed
A song performed on BBC One's 'The One Show' by singer/songwriter, James Blunt, was so awful, it made one viewer's ears bleed. Blunt was appearing on the show hosted by Nick Grimshaw and Emma Willis on Friday evening, and, after talking alongside...
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Harry Maguire Inspiration Behind Re-release Of Sham 69 Single 'Hurry Up, Harry'
Punk rockers, Sham 69, are to honour the world record (for a defender) signing by Manchester United of former Sheffield United, Hull City and Leicester City defender Harry Maguire by re-releasing 'Hurry Up, Harry', their 1978 hit single. Maguire h...
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Child Tells Noisy Dad To Turn His Music Down
A 56-year-old man listening to music upstairs in his home was the victim of his killjoy children yesterday, when one of them bawled at the top of her voice for him to turn the volume down. Moys Kenwood was 'giving it loads' whilst listening to 'Th...
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Harry Maguire Bookmakers' Favourite To Be UK Charts Christmas Number 1
Harry Maguire, the new Manchester United signing who seems to be able to do just about anything everything he puts his hand to, has been made the bookmakers' favourite to reach number 1 in the UK charts at Christmas. This is astonishing news - eve...
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Kylie Minogue Furious At Sir David Attenborough
There was real Australian soap-style drama at Glastonbury on Sunday, when Aussie pop princess Kylie Minogue became enraged before her performance had actually started, by Sir David Attenborough, who came onstage immediately before her. Minogue, wh...
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Lionel Richie Finally Apologizes for "Penny Lover"
Beverly Hills- After years of agonizing anticipation, music lovers around the world finally have received an apology from Lionel Richie for the recording and release of the 1983 song Penny Lover. When news of the mea culpa broke, fans slowly gath...
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Buzzcocks' Pete Shelley And The Fall's Mark E. Smith To Have A Pint And Form Supergroup
Lady Gaga Banned From Iowa
Man Is Forming A Band Like Kraftwerk
Gordon And Barack Drop Another Hot Tune
Rebranding of Blues Music as "Depressive Melodics" Flops Terribly
Katy Perry honoured by the gay community
Serge Gainsbourg: How the Hell Did He Do It?
Anarchy in the UK 'Best of all Time'
The Real Reason Why Toni Tennille of The Captain and Tennille Filed For Divorce
Sheryl Crow Can't Remember What Her Songs Sounded Like
A Furiously Jealous Faith Hill Is Becoming The Wicked Witch of The South
Ozzie Osbourne Has Got A Frog In His Throat
Only Time Americans Believe Everything Is Going to Be All Right Is When They Hear It in a Song
With cynicism and disillusionment increasingly pervading the American consciousness thanks to shifty politicians, racial divisiveness, spiraling gun violence, and ever more dire reports about climate change, Americans are having a harder time than ev...
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Bill Cosby Found With Two Drumsticks Shoved Up His Rectum
There were scenes of total panic at 'unlock' this morning, when jailed comedian, Bill Cosby, was found in his cell with a pair of drumsticks shoved up his anus. Cosby, star of 'The Cosby Show', and co-writer of the show's theme tune, 'Kiss Me', us...
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Ed Sheerans Sheer Luck
*We are well aware that our headlines never have anything to do with our actual story. We are looking to hire a headline writer who's willing to work for pieces of Battenberg cake. Feel free to contact us on this site* With the release of Ed Sheer...
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Black People Fed Up with Middle Class White Boys Singing in Faux Jamaican Accents
Tom Walker was born in Glasgow, but when he was three years old his family moved to the Cheshire town of Knutsford. He described his upbringing in a 'Glaswegian house' as his parents spoke in impenetrable accents. George Ezra Barnett was born in H...
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The List of 10 Rejected Country Music Band Names
Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine's Buck Yazoo stated that the world of country music has always been known for having colorfully traditional band names. He pointed out that some of these band names include Rascal Flatts, The Pirates of The Mississippi, Asleep At The Wheel, The Pistol Annies, and the legendary iconic band Bob Wills & The Texas Playboys. Buck said that back when he was attending Sol...
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Nashville Unoriginal Takes Country Music Charts by Storm
The music of singer-songwriter Kelcey Payne of Nashville, Tennessee, has been described as hackneyed, poppy, and blatantly unoriginal - and it's got country music fans around the world absolutely riveted. "I'm a super fan," said Patti Leichman of...
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Satanists claim that Beatles song "Lucy in the sky with diamonds" is a rip off!
A fanatical Satanist group have cast a "black demonic cloud" around the celebrations of John Lennon's 70th birthday. They claim that one of his and McCartney's songs was a devilish "rip off" and was stolen frome them by John. The song, "Lucy i...
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Glastonbury Fans Say They'll Want A Refund If It Doesn't Turn Into A Quagmire
Music fans have begun arriving at Glastonbury for the annual feast of music that usually turns into a mudbath due to seasonal rainstorms, but there is already unrest, after several visitors said they would be seeking a refund if the weather stayed fi...
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New Johnny Cash Song Discovered About John Wayne - "A Boy Named Marion"
Johnny Cash historians have discovered a previously unknown Cash ballad amongst his files that might be his next posthumous hit. It appears to be a rewrite of his big '60's hit "A Boy Named Sue" that is a tribute to movie star John Wayne. Wayne's name at birth was actually Marion, normally a woman's name, which supposed caused him grief with his classmates in school. Cash seemingly saw the similar...
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Queen Guitarist Brian May In Hospital After Consistently Denying Any Connection To Theresa May
Brian May, the legendary lead-guitarist with rock group, Queen, is being cared for in a private hospital tonight after suffering a nervous breakdown as a result of years of denying any family connection between himself and UK prime minister, Theresa...
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Secret Behind Lady GaGa's Poker Face Revealed!
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta played strip poker with RoboByte Records executives in a mansion, where she removed her pleather and sequins, but not her smut and sass, said a source. RoboByte producer BigRedOne showed his appr...
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Britney Spears Admits She Eats 15 Hot Dogs A Day!
LOS ANGELES - Britney Spears recently stated that she is having a marvelous time being a judge on Simon Cowell's X-Factor. The 30-year-old says that at first she thought that it was going to be hard for her to say no to singing contestants but aft...
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Rap Stars' Mothers Reveal Reasons They Called Their Kids What They Did
The mothers of some of the biggest rap stars in the music business have said they named their children in the way they did, because it was clear that they were destined for superstardom. Many rap artists change their names to something more catchy...
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Rihanna is in love with the Sambia
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Carly Simon Finally Reveals Whom She Was Singing About In "You're So Vain"!
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Parody Week: Rooney Roo
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Radio White Noise is not a great hit with the listening public
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Taylor Swift Lends Her Shoulder To Selena Gomez
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Bono, Gabriel Slam "Pathetic" Wagner Apologists
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Where are they now? Football hit singles
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Sinéad O'Connor Has Grown A Muslim Beard
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Country Music Star Admits to Being Secret Slayer Fan
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Man Admits That The First Time He Heard 'Underpass' By John Foxx, He Thought The Singer Was Singing 'Underpants'
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iPhone Upgrade To Have Built in Enema Function
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People Who Life in Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Rolling Stones
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'Shaddap You Face' chosen as official Olympic Anthem!
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Lady Gaga Looking GiGagagantic!
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Girls Aloud Reform And It's All Thanks To Bono
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Taylor Swift Wins 8 Billboard Music Awards
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Jeff Lynne 'Oasis are Shit'!
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Acquaintances Reluctantly Impressed by Musician’s Transparently False but Unwavering Humility
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Peter Hook Did Not Sing On 'Doubts Even Here'
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Purple Haze Covers Town
