Elton John Carried Offstage In Copenhagen After Watford FA Cup Annihilation
Sir Elton John had to be helped off the stage during a concert in Copenhagen last night, as updates he was receiving about the scoreline from the FA Cup final match at Wembley Stadium between Watford and Manchester City were making him more and more...
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Wombles In The Recording Studio Again
The Wombles, the chart-topping supergroup refuse collectors who had smash hit singles all the way through the 1970s, are back in the recording studios for a reunion recording that promises to eclipse everything else they've done before. Comprising...
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Palestine To Compete In Eurovision Song Contest For The First Time
It's that time of year again, when Europe's best singers congregate in one place and sing their hearts out for no real reason at the Eurovision Song Contest, and this year, a historic occasion presents itself with the debut in the contest of a compet...
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Noel Gallagher And Elton John To Record Live Wembley Album Before FA Cup Final
Two Titans of the music world, Sir Elton Hercules John and Mr. Noel Gallagher, have agreed to come together to record a live album in front of the 100,000 crowd at Wembley Stadium, before this season's FA Cup final between their respective favourite...
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Hard-of-Hearing Prodigy Tribute Band Booed Off Stage
"I can't understand it, I am sure we heard somewhere that the late Keith Flint suffered from extreme flatulence," said Ryan Skint, vocalist and dancer with Prodigy tribute band Proctology after he and his three-piece band were booed off stage at Madr...
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Trump To Meet Ice Cube Over Future Of Hip-Hop
President Donald Trump took a break from his day-to-day presidential duties of upsetting the leaders of other nations, insulting his political rivals, and edging the US and the rest of the world nearer to Armageddon, by announcing that he is to meet...
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The Osmonds Christmas Single Out Next Week
Peter Hook Did Not Sing On 'Doubts Even Here'
Bill Cosby Found With Two Drumsticks Shoved Up His Rectum
The Beatles In 'Comeback' Shock
Sinéad O'Connor Rejected By Islam
Elvis Presley Sightings Suggest He May Still Be Alive
President Trump Christmas Album Out Thursday
New York Musician Hopes His Fake Humility Holds Up on Television
Queen Guitarist Brian May In Hospital After Consistently Denying Any Connection To Theresa May
Listening Repeatedly To Dominique A, Made Man Speak English With French Accent
Man Was Shocked When He Finally Found Out What Song Lyrics Meant
Nashville Musician Wonders if He Might Be a Little Self-Centered
BTS Are "Completely Different" From Anything That Has Gone Before
They are currently the hottest thing in pop music, filling stadiums with screaming fans all over the world, breaking all records with sales of their albums, and topping the charts of all civilized countries who have them - they are BTS, the Korean K-...
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Trump Pardons Fun Lovin' Criminals
There was consternation in the US legal system today as The White House announced an addition to so-called President Trump's recent flurry of pardons for his reality TV cast of lickspittles, cronies and ne'er-do-wells. The announcement came in Trump'...
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Keith Flint's Ghost Visits Pub Looking Slightly Less Scary Than Keith Flint Did
There were a few raised eyebrows but no shrieking at an Essex public house at the weekend, when the ghost of former landlord, Keith Flint, paid an unexpected visit to the pub, and, as he was used to doing, started the fire in the bar. Flint, 49, d...
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Black People Fed Up with Middle Class White Boys Singing in Faux Jamaican Accents
Tom Walker was born in Glasgow, but when he was three years old his family moved to the Cheshire town of Knutsford. He described his upbringing in a 'Glaswegian house' as his parents spoke in impenetrable accents. George Ezra Barnett was born in H...
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Man Tries To Clone Ian Curtis
A man who read something in a book about the legendary Joy Division frontman, Ian Curtis, who committed suicide in 1980, has embarked upon a crackpot scheme to clone the singer, it's been claimed. Moys Kenwood, who was 16 at the time of Curtis' un...
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Mosquitoes Repelled By Durutti Column Album
Mosquitoes hiding out at a swamp next to an Englishman's Bangkok apartment have claimed that their livelihood is being threatened by the man's state of mind, and the tendency he currently has for playing 'sad music'. The man concerned, Moys Kenwoo...
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Elton John FA Cup Final Performance Offer Snubbed
Sir Elton Hercules John, the popular singer, who has millions of fans worldwide, has offered his services as pre-match entertainment at this year's FA Cup final between his beloved Watford, and Manchester City, at Wembley Stadium in May, but has been...
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Kraftwerk Gig Voted 'Best Of All Time'
A gig by electronic pioneers Kraftwerk at Berlin's Rockpalast venue in 1970, has been voted 'Best Concert Of All Time', by a man with a sense of irony. The gig, performed in front of an audience of around 200 unsuspecting German music fans, was th...
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Mumford & Sons - Does Anybody Really Like Them?
Mumford & Sons are a British band formed in 2007. The members are Marcus Mumford (lead vocals, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, drums), Ben Lovett (vocals, keyboard, piano, synthesizer), Winston Marshall (vocals, electric guitar, banjo) and Ted...
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Woman Heard 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head' By Kylie Minogue, And Couldn't Get It Out Of Her Head
A woman who had gone to Ibiza for a crazy beach dance party-cum-orgy, has told how she danced to the intoxicating rhythm of the Kylie Minogue favorite, 'Can't Get You Out Of My Head', and couldn't get the tune out of her head. Donna McGlone, 26, h...
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Man Who Listened To Kraftwerk Song Can't Get It Out Of His Mind
A man who was listening to music through the YouTube channel on his computer, inadvertently stumbled upon a song by the German electronic synthesizer pioneers, Kraftwerk, and now can't get the tune out of his head! The song, 'Computer Love' (1981)...
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Durutti Column Enthusiast Can't Bring Himself To Part With Vinyl Album
A rare and valuable collector's item presents the owner with a dilemma: a) sell the item, and cash in on a decent sum of money, or b) keep the item, and celebrate the ownership. That was the dilemma facing one man from Hull as he contemplate...
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Man Admits That The First Time He Heard 'Underpass' By John Foxx, He Thought The Singer Was Singing 'Underpants'
A man who describes himself as "a music enthusiast" has revealed how, the first time he heard the John Foxx single 'Underpass', in January 1980, his ears told him that the singer had sung "Underpants'. Foxx, formerly with Ultravox, had parted comp...
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Man Is Forming A Band Like Kraftwerk
A man who inadvertently stumbled upon a Kraftwerk song he had forgotten about from the 1980s, and thoroughly enjoyed it, has said he, himself, is going to form a band like the German electronic band, and is currently recruiting band members. Moys...
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