Music Spoof News

12 July 2020

Man Fondly Recalls The Dooleys

A man who was idly daydreaming the other day, started to think about music from his childhood, and remembered that the first 7" vinyl single record he ever bought was The Dooleys 1974 Eurovision Song Contest entry, 'Hands Across the Sea'. Tatty M…

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Man Relieved To Discover Francis Rossi Isn't Dead Yet

A man who was reading a Wikipedia page about British boogie rock band, Status Quo, and read of the deaths of two members of the band, told of how relieved he was to to discover that founding member, Francis Rossi, was still alive. Moys Kenwood, wh…

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Man Fondly Remembers First Record He Ever Bought

A man who was idly daydreaming the other day, started to think about music from his childhood, and remembered that the first vinyl record he ever bought was the 7" single by Status Quo, 'Down, Down' in 1974, when he was just 11 years old. Moys Ken…

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Sammy Hagar Pisses Off a Lot of Real Singers

BISON SPIT, Montana – Former singer, Sammy Hagar, who is 72-going-on-92, has just made what is being considered by many to be the most idiotic, stupid remark regarding the Coronavirus pandemic yet. The Memphis Post-Haste newspaper wrote that even...

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Man Asked Girl What She Was Looking At

A man who was sitting talking to his wife in their shop next to their house this morning, suddenly became aware he was being stared at by one of his step-daughter's teenage friends, and asked her what she was looking at. Moys Kenwood, 57, was deep…

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Beyonce and The (Dixie) Chicks Will Be Going on a Concert Tour Together in 2021

HOLLYWOOD – LaLaLand Daily has just announced that Beyonce and The Chicks have just signed to perform on the “2021 Beyonce & The Chicks - Black & White World-Wide Concert Tour”. The Chicks, whose career has just recently been revitalized w…

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Justin Bieber Shocked At Being Booed By The Billboard Music Awards Audience

Justin Bieber Addresses Those Alleged SXSW Sexual Assault Allegations

Man Tried To Block Out Wedding Music By Playing The Fall At Full Volume

Bagpipes To Be Phased Out

Sinéad O'Connor Has Grown A Muslim Beard

Billboard Top 10 Music Chart - Sponsored By The Coronavirus

Man looking forward to hearing Coldplay's next album

Black People Fed Up with Middle Class White Boys Singing in Faux Jamaican Accents

Harry Maguire Inspiration Behind Re-release Of Sham 69 Single 'Hurry Up, Harry'

Mud 'Lonely This Christmas' To Be Re-Issued

Mike And The Mechanics Are Not Really Mechanics

Bill Cosby Found With Two Drumsticks Shoved Up His Rectum

Justin Bieber Files a Counter-Lawsuit Against His Sexual Accuser

AUSTIN – Justin Bieber says that he is getting fed up with every time he smiles at a girl, she runs home, gets on the computer, and says that she was sexually assaulted by him. Bieber said that most of these types of women are 6s or lower. He poin…

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The Pink Lives Matter Movement To Have a Big Lollapalooza Type Music Festival

SAN FRANCISCO – Members of the newly-formed Pink Lives Matter movement have announced plans for a big entertainment whoop-dee-do, as they say down in Nawlins (New Orleans). Organizers, Bruce Figwater and Myron Tutu, have informed the media that th…

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Justin Bieber's Hair Defies Gravity, And His Tattoos Are Rubbish

It's been claimed by one music enthusiast that the hair of Canadian crooner, Justin Bieber, is not subject to gravity, and that the tattoos he has all the way up his arms, are absolutely shit. Bieber has an exceedingly strange hairstyle, which one…

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Ukulele group banned from local park

Toby Smith and his ukulele band of several hipsters have been banned from their local park in Mithering on the Trent. The hirsute six-piece often play in the Duck and Mallard on the High Street at their local open mic night, but since the lockdown…

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George Clinton To Re-release 'Paint The White House Black'

George Clinton, the leader of P-Funk bands, Parliament and Funkadelic, who has been named as the President of the Black United States of America by the Black Lives Matter organization, is set to re-release his popular 1993 single, 'Paint The White Ho…

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Black Lives Matter Install George Clinton As President Of The Black USA

As tempers continued to fray at the weekend, there was a major development away from the rioting, when the Black Lives Matter organization officially declared the former Parliament and Funkadelic frontman, George Clinton, the President of the Black U…

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The Heavy Metal Band Formerly Known as C-19 is Now Officially Known as WD-40

DUBLIN – Doolin Tipperary, the lead singer with the Irish heavy metal band formerly known as C-19, says the band has officially changed its name, and now goes by the name WD-40. “Tip”, as his bandmates and fans call him, said that when the band wa...

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The Country Band Lady Antebellum Drops Its Racist Name

NASHVILLE – The popular country music band, Lady Antebellum, has decided that it was high time that they got with the politically correct program, and they are officially now known as Lady A. The original name of the band came from the style of th...

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Liverpool Players Claim They Were 'Put Off' By Saxophonist

After the most bizarre Merseyside Derby in living memory at the weekend, players of both Liverpool and Everton say they were "nervous to start with", but became increasingly so when they couldn't concentrate because of the relaxing tunes being played...

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Electric Eels 'Agitated' Left Man Agitated

A man has recounted how, whilst listening to music from his computer library, yesterday afternoon, he encountered the 1975-written Electric Eels track 'Agitated', and became extremely agitated. The incident happened as veteran music enthusiast, Mo...

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Man's Album of techno Accordion music still not selling

Man about town, Gary Williamson, a 49-year-old musician, released an album of original Techno music with his accordion playing to the fore, and realised, that, although he launched it ten years ago, it still isn't selling. 'Like most people during…

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Taylor Swift Wins 8 Billboard Music Awards

LAS VEGAS - Millions of viewers watched as Taylor Swift cleaned up at the Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Sin City, USA. Taylor won a total of 8 awards including Top Female Artist, Top Country Artist, Top Country Album, Top...

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Throbbing Gristle Founder Genesis P-Orridge Mourned By Her Majesty The Queen

There were sombre scenes at Buckingham Palace this evening, and the Royal Standard stood at half-mast, after the news was broken to Her Majesty the Queen that Genesis P-Orridge, the founder member and lead singer of Throbbing Gristle, had died, aged...

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Why You Can’t Leave Hotel California: The Blue Heeler Bites Back

BILLINGSGATE POST: If you listen carefully to the lyrics of Hotel California, by The Eagles, you might easily make the mistake of over-analyzing the song; attributing inappropriate metaphors to decipher the true meanings of the lyrics. Have you e…

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