Harry Maguire Inspiration Behind Re-release Of Sham 69 Single 'Hurry Up, Harry'

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 7 August 2019

image for Harry Maguire Inspiration Behind Re-release Of Sham 69 Single 'Hurry Up, Harry'
Come on, look lively, Maguire!

Punk rockers, Sham 69, are to honour the world record (for a defender) signing by Manchester United of former Sheffield United, Hull City and Leicester City defender Harry Maguire by re-releasing 'Hurry Up, Harry', their 1978 hit single.

Maguire has shot to stardom as a result of his transfer, and is now known worldwide as 'the international superstar playboy footballer from Sheffield', who has been massively overrated by the Reds, and who has, according to his former teammate, Jamie Vardy, an exceptionally large head.

'Hurry Up, Harry' was originally released in October 1978, and reached number 10 in the UK singles charts. It's thought that the 'hurry up' reference in the song's title is a dig at Maguire's distinct lack of speed, and his lumbering carthorse demeanour.

It was the follow-up single to another Sham hit, 'If The Kid Plays For United', released in July the same year. The B-side of that particular musical treat was 'Sunday Morning Nightmare', which is what Harry Maguire might easily be enduring once the season has got under way.

It's hoped that 'Hurry Up, Harry' will become a popular terrace chant that will inspire Maguire to work hard in training and to improve his speed.

TheSpoof.com sent correspondent Fife Peterson along to interview Sham 69 frontman, Jimmy Pursey, who now lives in Stourbridge, to find out why the band have chosen now to release the song again. Found buying dog biscuits in Netto, Pursey laughed:

"Yeh, arm ge'in a bit short these days, so ah fort ard cash-in on the Arry M'gwoir palava fing, Guv. Eezer lavley fella!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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