NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The fast food world is stunned as Popeye's, the nation's leading chicken fast food restaurant, imports chickens from Iceland, which is fast becoming the "Chicken Capital of The World."
After combing the globe for the perfect poultry, Popeye's has finally found their fowl-soulmate in Iceland, leaving Delaware, Maryland, and Virginia chicks to wallow in paltry misery.
The Icelandic poultry is raised on a chicken feed diet, which consists of pulverized Brazil nuts, smashed glazed donuts, squashed invertebrates, and mashed-up gummy worms.
According to a reputable American Research Group, Iceland's chickens are the happiest and most succulent birds in the world. Unfortunately, their high levels of sugar make them illegal in the European Union, causing the French to pout like a bunch of rejected lovers!