Blond President Jokes
1. What is fine dining to the Blond President? Anything on the Value Meal menu at McDonald's. 2. How does the Blond President find a new wife? He goes to the Walmart Discount East European Find A Sexy Wife website. 3. What did the Blon...Read full story
Heartbreaking: 2 Year Old Labrador Feels Trapped in Own Home.
Speaking of the stresses that come along with having to constantly cater to the family’s needs, Bailey, a 2 year old Labrador Retriever, stated that he planned to run away from the family… again. “I just feel like I can never be myself around the...Read full story
Hilarious: Anxious Man Frantically Checks Writer's Desk to Make Sure That Favorite Spoof is Still 5 Stars
Citing the large amount of effort that he’d put into his poorly-made, uneven and ultimately unfunny article, Matthew Bogdon reportedly checked his rating this morning to make sure that this mess of a “joke” still remained at 5 stars. “I think th...Read full story
Trump Cleared By Mueller! Huh?
So Trump is cleared. Why was Donald Trump's foreign advisor, George Papadopoulos, indicted, convicted and sent to jail? Robert Mueller says there wasn’t enough proof of a conspiracy. Huh? “Russia, if you're listening, find Hillary Clinton's...Read full story
Inspiring: Man logging 2,848 hours into new Call of Duty game has now spent more time fighting nazis than grandfather did.
Citing the endless amount of time he has spent/spends perilously ending dictator control in simulation of World War II, Robert Fischmann, a 23-year-old man with a knack for keyboard controls, wonders why he receives little to no credit compared to hi...Read full story
Organizers Secretly Relieved that No One Smited during Nashville Atheist Convention
Wrapping up another highly successful annual atheist convention in Nashville, Tennessee, which brought together atheists, skeptics, humanists, and those "recovering from religion," conference organizers Hal Jenkins snd Gayle Fleming secretly breathe...Read full story
Experts Applaud $94 TRILLION "Green Tech" Proposal
SAN FRANCISCO - When the wish-list for the "Green New Deal" became public, the $94 TRILLION price tag had millions of Americans staggering around in disbelief. Based on current tax rates and Federal spending, those who paid the taxes by working could...Read full story
Volga Olga is the new UK PM!!
It seems the only way to get the 'infamous deal' through the UK parliament is to 'shag it through!' So, May is being dumped by the Tories and replaced by 85 year-old, Ukrainian nymphomaniac, infamous hag after her renowned, breathless performances...Read full story
1973: Mueller Exonerates Nixon in Watergate Break-in
Department of Justice. Washington, D.C., May, 1973. Special Counsel Robert Mueller filed his Watergate Investigation report today without indicting President Richard Nixon in the break-in at the Democratic party's Watergate headquarters. Mueller'...Read full story
Canadian Rockers Teach Goat to Sing
Canadian rock band The Radically Whipped has found a replacement for deceased singer Gordon Downer. "When Gord died, we were really bummed out, because we knew no human being could replace him," said band member Bob Raker, "but then we started th...Read full story
U.S. Republicans Demand That Meng Wanzhou be Stoned for Blasphemy
On Tuesday of this past week, Republican Congressmen and Senators alike unanimously demanded that Huawei executive Meng Wanzhou be extradited to the U.S. to face capital punishment by stoning. Rob Patterson, founder of the 666 Club and spokestwit...Read full story
Szjlobovjian Parliament Vetoes Daylight Saving Time
While the United States Congress appears to be poised to pass a measure mandating Daylight Saving Time for fifty-one weeks of the year, the tiny East European republic of Szjlobovjia has taken the opposite tack, with its parliament unanimously reject...Read full story
Man Coughed So Hard, His Balls Started To Ache
A man who has been suffering 'flu-like symptoms for nearly a month, revealed today how he had coughed so hard, that his testicles and groin area had started to ache. Moys Kenwood, 55, contracted the bug towards the end of February, but could not h...Read full story