Michael Jackson Breaks Silence

In a tiny, aging building along a busy Mesa, Arizona street, local fortune teller Madam Lisbane finishes a palm reading for one of her regular customers. She tells her that the coming equinox will create unimaginable havoc in her life, and that she m...

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I am not that interesting, really, says man

Funny story: I am not that interesting, really, says man

Gary Johnson, 48, and the fictional subject of a few stories written by an equally fictional writer has insisted, that he really is not that interesting. 'The thing is,' said the fictional buffoon, 'I am completely fictional, but it does not mean...

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Man Shocked that Woolworths has shut

Funny story: Man Shocked that Woolworths has shut

Gary Johnson 48, is shocked to hear that Woolworths has been shut down for a decade. The music fan revealed that although his music tastes are fairly broad and up-to-date, he last bought an album from a shop when Moby's Play album first came out.

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The Four Horse’s Asses Of The Apocalypse

Funny story: The Four Horse’s Asses Of The Apocalypse

BILLINGSGATE POST: Defying all rational thought, the Four Horse’s Asses of the Apocalypse ride again. In Biblical lore they are known as Famine, Pestilence, Destruction and Death. These are only aliases. Their real names are Sanders, Pocahontas, Bet...

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Man who suffers from Insomnia buys Dido's new album

Funny story: Man who suffers from Insomnia buys Dido's new album

Gary Johnson, 48, who suffers from Insomnia after buying tickets for Jedward for his 30th wedding anniversary, has exclusively revealed to us that he has just indulged in Dido's latest release. 'I was on that Amazon type thing' said Johnson, as if...

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Wetherspoon's Profits Plunge by 19%: "Nothing to do with Brexit"

Funny story: Wetherspoon's Profits Plunge by 19%: "Nothing to do with Brexit"

Profits at old gits pub chain JD Wetherspoon fell 19% in the six months to the end of January. Wetherspoon's weirdo chairman, Brexit cheerleader Tim Martin, the last living proponent of the mullet, hairstyle of the gods, immediately announced that it...

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Man To Reveal A Secret

Funny story: Man To Reveal A Secret

A man whose characteristic behavior is to always keep his cards very close to his chest, is to 'break with tradition', and will shortly reveal one of his innermost and closely-guarded secrets. The man, whose identity cannot be divulged, because th...

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Trump to Offer Online Course: "Effective Use of Social Media in POLITICS"

Funny story: Trump to Offer Online Course: "Effective Use of Social Media in POLITICS"

U.S. President Donald Trump announced that he will soon be offering an eight-week online course titled "Effective Use of Social Media in POLITICS." The course will focus particularly on the popular social media platform, Twitter, where Trump has show...

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Trump Thrills MAGA Rally Crowd of Billionaires, Says "Stock Market to Soar Soon".

Funny story: Trump Thrills MAGA Rally Crowd of Billionaires, Says "Stock Market to Soar Soon".

Westford, Alabama - A crowd of visibly excited, wealthy Trump supporters cheered loudly as the President announced that an imminent trade deal with China will "make the stock market go through the roof." The crowd, most, if not all, of whom had st...

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Seagull Shitstorm

A man has been given a curfew and a banning order from every Pets At Home in the country after he was found guilty of “knocking fuck out of a seagull” back in 2018. The man (who can be named but has a really long, complicated name, and we can't be...

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CNN Source Identified Only as "Beavis": Moscow Trump Tower Erection Story was Killed by Pecker at Enquirer

Funny story: CNN Source Identified Only as "Beavis": Moscow Trump Tower Erection Story was Killed by Pecker at Enquirer

Van Nuys, California - In an exclusive CNN report, a confidential source calling himself "Beavis" or alternatively "Cornholio" contacted the news organization with startling revelations concerning National Enquirer chief David Pecker and the Trump O...

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Americans United in How Much They Hate Each Other

Funny story: Americans United in How Much They Hate Each Other

A new survey found that Americans are overwhelmingly united on how much they hate each other. “People say America is a divided country but our data shows that’s not true,” said pollster Tom Andjerry with Emerson College. “They are in almost comple...

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Latest Proclamation from Elizabeth Warren About Her “Native American Ancestry”

Funny story: Latest Proclamation from Elizabeth Warren About Her “Native American Ancestry”

In a press conference at the Back-Bay Plaza hotel in Boston, putative Presidential candidate Warren proclaimed her definitive genetic link to a historic American tribe. She now affirms, citing Exegesis Genome Testing [EGT], that she is of the Mohica...

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