Man Coughed So Hard, His Balls Started To Ache

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 25 March 2019

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Underpants too tight?

A man who has been suffering 'flu-like symptoms for nearly a month, revealed today how he had coughed so hard, that his testicles and groin area had started to ache.

Moys Kenwood, 55, contracted the bug towards the end of February, but could not have imagined then, that it would persist for so long.

A streaming runny nose came first, but, as the 'flu progressed, this dried up to the point where his nose became blocked, and no amount of blowing with all his might into a handkerchief would shift the water-like snot, which would just drip out when it felt like it, and when it was most inconvenient. This was accompanied by a giant's headache.

The cough came next, and tickled his throat so badly, it felt as if someone were in his throat using a small feather to irritate his larynx. He fully realized that unnecessarily 'coughing hard' would only make things worse, but, as time dragged on, and he lost all of his energy in spluttering to try and loosen the mucus, he coughed as if his life depended on it.

The ticklishness stuck steadfastly to its task.

On Friday, however, there was a new development. Constantly putting too much effort into his coughing fits had had an effect further down below. His abdomen and even lower down, his testicles, were showing distinct signs of wear-and-tear.

Whether standing, sitting, walking around, or just laid on his bed, the sorry Englishman could gain no relief, and there was the tiniest evidence of a tear in his eye as his wife turned up to apply some Deep Heat-type soothing gel to his nether region

(Continued on page 14)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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