Canadian Rockers Teach Goat to Sing

Written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw

Monday, 25 March 2019

image for Canadian Rockers Teach Goat to Sing
"New Orleans is sinkin', man..."

Canadian rock band The Radically Whipped has found a replacement for deceased singer Gordon Downer.

"When Gord died, we were really bummed out, because we knew no human being could replace him," said band member Bob Raker, "but then we started thinking outside of that box. It turns out that lots of barnyard goats can sing in exactly the same vocal timbre. Not many of them can reproduce intelligible English lyrics, but they're highly intelligent for barnyard livestock. We were able to select and train one goat that could match Gord's vocals to a 'T'."

When reached for comment, Canadian rocker Chad Kroeger could only say: "Oh, fuck!" while Alanis Morissette and Celine Dion were confident that no talented goat would stoop to the level of impersonating either of them.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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