Hilarious: Anxious Man Frantically Checks Writer's Desk to Make Sure That Favorite Spoof is Still 5 Stars

Funny story written by Jesus H. Christ

Monday, 25 March 2019

Citing the large amount of effort that he’d put into his poorly-made, uneven and ultimately unfunny article, Matthew Bogdon reportedly checked his rating this morning to make sure that this mess of a “joke” still remained at 5 stars.

“I think that it’s how much work I put into every single word…”, Matthew stated in an interview, “Doubting myself all the time, and all.”

“There are so many times that I’m almost done with something, and I just delete it because it’s not good enough, or because the punchline doesn’t hit right. There’s something about the feeling of immense disappointment that comes with deleting minutes of hard work, so it isn’t difficult to imagine how happy I was to finally realize that I’d made something that wasn’t completely terrible... “ “It felt so good to finally get this thing published. Like, even just for a second, my life had actually meant something.”

“And everybody seemed to like it too. I logged in on… three accounts and rated my article? It was well made, so I just dropped in and gave it what it deserved. And it felt really good to know that three people liked my article enough to rate it.”

“And I still feel proud of myself to this day. In short, I hope that nobody else rated it. That would take every feeling of accomplishment away, and…”

Ironically, just then, one of our staff members gave this pathetic attempt at a joke a 1 star rating, descending the article to a measly 4 stars.

At press time, Matthew began hyperventilating violently, citing the loss of all meaning in life due to the “bastard, with clearly no taste in comedy, who took it all away”. What a nitwit.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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