In a tennis upset that has astounded the sporting world, two pair of conjoined twins took on the world's best in mixed doubles, and spanked them in front of a very late night TV audience.
The distaff side of the upset minded players are the amazing McNair twins Terry & Mary, although for professional reasons they have also been known as Rachael & Mary Katherine, Lucy & Ethel, and Tristan & Isolde.
Holding up the male contingent were the irrepressible Pissgum twins, Buck & Percival, whose many nefarious deeds have been chronicled, dare I say even to excess, in the archives of TheSpoof.com.
The way for them to complete as 'individuals' was cleared after an impassioned plea at the UN Athletic Consortium made by UK Barrister Mdm. Queen of Mutter, appearing Pro Bono, and might I add she was quite fetching in her role as champion of the malformed.
QM convincingly showed that each set of twins had only one social security number, one driver's license, one pass port, and one screen name on The Spoof.com.
Opponents argued that the plaintiffs did indeed have two (2) penises, 2 vulvas and three breasts between them. Respectively speaking, of course.
QM countered that due to their physical impairment, only one (1) of their reproductive organs could be in use at a time, and triumphantly rested her case.
While the vote was breathtakingly close, the tie breaker was cast by the delegation from China, who off the record said they had at least 1,500,000 conjoined twins in the republic who were intensely training for the 2016 Olympics, and didn't want to have their athletes excluded from competition, especially in ping pong.
The match was over in record time, the twins prevailing 6-0,6-0,6-1, the one game conceded to Williams/Nadal after an altercation when Serena Williams vehemently protested that the McNairs had three (3) of their four (4) feet over the fault line during an important service point.
'Soccer On Late Night' announcers Skoob 1999 and Erin Andrews, were left all but speechless trying to describe the match.
"Never seen nuttin like it in melife," said Skoob, "The Pissgums were formidable at the net...nothing could get by them whirling dervishes!"
"And the McNairs were serving craftily" said Andrews...their opponents didn't know which twin was going to serve the ball onst they tossed it in the air...sometimes Terry put a left hand spin on it, and then Mary would add an inshoot with deadly accuracy just kissing the chalk lines!"
There was only one equipment malfunction during the match when after a strenuous 'get' by the McNairs, the buttons on their blouse popped and there was a brief glimpse of an erect nipple on their middle breast which only seemed to goad the Pissgums on to further frenzy as they charged the net and smashed a Nadal return into the far court for a winner.
As the final point was served, Serena double faulted in frustration, both twins tried to vault the net, but were unsuccessful. Fortunately only Percival suffered some bruising to his scrotum, and the McNairs, who share a pair of crotchless panties, were left unscathed but smiling, although 4 lines judges were required to assist the victors from their painful predicament.
Serene Williams appeared to be still pissed after the loss..."F*****Freaks", she was heard to mutter, " Next time I'm gonna' super glue Venus to my ass and smash them into the F**** ground! F*****g C*****s, and you can quote me on that , that was C*****s PLURAL!"
