All round entertainer, chart topper, X-Factor judge, WAG, fantasy sex object, girl next door and hair product advertiser Cheryl Cole today announced that she was getting heartily sick of constantly being referred to as 'Cheryl Cole'
"I'm gerrin sick of it pet," she said. "Everywhere ah look I see meself starin' back at us, and every time I open up a newspaper, or a glossy mag, it's Cheryl Cole this and Cheryl Cole that..."
Which is par for the course when you're an international superstar surely?
"It's not just that pet," she said resignedly. "There's a lorra sites oot there on t'internet that are just there to take the piss oot of celebs. They say some terrible things aboot me, and they know tharrif they put mah name in a heedline it'll rack up the hits."
Cheryl Cole announced then that a crafty name change would throw all of the predators off the scent, if only temporarily. She announced that from now on she wanted to be known simply as 'CC'
"Erm, why?" a reporter from a rival publication ventured.
"Because it's a bit snappier like," CC quipped. "An' it's a bit more street. CC Pennistone, CC Rider, 10CC, it's got a certain ring to it. Divvent ye think?"
"What does X-Factor winner Joe McElderry think about all all this?" we ventured.
"J-Mac's cool with it." CC told us.
"And Ashley?"
"Ash-Co's doon wi it too."
In related news, Simon Cowell announced that he has no plans to shorten his monicker, as it would entail being known as Si-Co.
More as we get it.
