Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 7 January 2010

image for The Gun-Totin' NBA Star Gilbert Arenas Has Been Suspended For The Rest of The Season
The Gilbert Arenas autographed basketball has gone down in price from $172 to a dollar.

WASHINGTON D.C. - The commissioner of the National Basketball Association has banned Washington Wizards all-star point guard Gilbert Arenas for the remainder of the NBA season.

Stern said that he will also be levying a fine on Mr. Arenas. When asked what the fine would be, the commissioner just grinned and said that it will be somewhere between $100,000 and $10 million.

He went on to add that a restraining order will also be placed in affect which will prohibit Mr. Arenas from coming within 50 feet of a basketball.

Gilbertito, as his grandmother Cookie calls him, was caught brandishing a pistol in the Wizards locker room. Arenas was reportedly waving it towards teammate Jevaris Crittenton.

A witness to the incident Paco "Flaco" Chipotle said that he heard a loud commotion and at first he thought that one of the players had snuck one of the horny cheerleaders into the shower stalls again.

He peeked around the corner and saw the 6 foot 4, 215 pound Arenas sticking a handgun in Je-Cri's face. Chipotle said " Arenas was saying something like either 'you better pay me the $15 you owe me' or 'you better start making your free throws bitch.'"

Commissioner Stern has said that the suspension will be without pay, which will amount to close to $10 million. He said that Arenas presently has a four year contract worth $80 million.

Stern pointed out that Arenas will also not be allowed to participate in the McDonald's "Pick Your Favorite NBA Star French Fries" promotion.

He went on to say that Arenas will most likely be charged with a felony as he was carrying an unlicensed as well as unpaid for gun.

When Arenas was asked to comment, the Cuban-American said, "I was only playing like kids do like ju know cowboys and Indians except dat eat was really KKK wizards and black bros. I was dee KKK wizard and Jevaris was dee black bro."

Since the unfortunate incident the Gilbert Arenas rookie bubblegum card has gone down in price from $89 to 3 cents.

In news from the world of music. The Everly Brothers were going to reunite for a summer concert tour, but then they both remembered that they are still mad at each other.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Basketball

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
104 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more