British Leaders Compete for Chav Vote

Funny story written by victor nicholas

Thursday, 7 January 2010

image for British Leaders Compete for Chav Vote
Cameron's Lunch

British political leaders Gordon Brown and David Cameron are already sparring with each other to compete for the Chav vote prior to general elections in June of this year.

Brown is looking for Labour to secure a fourth consecutive term in office and restore support lost since 1997 and is clearly looking to the Chav vote to help get him there.

Dressed in a Burberry check track suit and Reebok trainers, Brown spoke at a rally outside of a Hyper Value.

"Seekaboom, seekaboom, Ya, Yo my bros how ya doin? How you doin TONIGHT! I knows ya dontz always votes for self servun lyin pollitishunz like that toffin toffer Conservatoffer CameRUN! Cha ya, ya know it, Labour is the chav CHAVEST!"

"Er...Um, I thought that went rather well don't you? Is this thing still on? What!"

Brown's message was met with thunderous response by a small but enthusiastic crowd clearly appreciative of the free KFC chicken supplied for the event.

Unwed fifteen year old mother of four Chantelle Higgins interviewed after the rally said she would be willling to vote Labour "As long as they help cover essentials like payments on the fifty inch telly and Red Bull for the young-uns, helps with the colic and teethin y'know."

Not to be outdone David Cameron has been doing his best to distance himself from his posh upbringing. The press has had a field day since he souped up his bicycle with blue LED lights and a spoiler rear fender and started showing it off on his daily trips to the House of Commons, his weekly lunch at Pizza Hut and an occasional visit to his Nan. He has stepped it up at question period as well and clearly distracted Gordon Brown by trading in his tailored suits for a football shirt and gold earrings while speaking leaning over a stack of Carling Black Label empties flanked by painted concrete garden gnomes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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