Written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 7 January 2010

image for Russell Brand Vows Betrothal Tattoo for Katy Perry
The beginnings of Katy Perry's face on Russell Brand's thigh

Eating up the press coverage on his recent engagement announcement to singer Katy Perry, British Comedian Russell Brand jokingly declared that he would soon apply a 50 centimeter tattoo of Katy Perry's face on his body as proof of his commitment.

Apparently no joke to Katy, insiders tell reporters, as she was touched by the sentiment and commented that she looked forward to seeing it on her new beau. Putting Brand in a position to stand by his statement, the engaged couple headed to the Frith Street Tattoo shop, north of London's city center to talk about placement for the body art.

Friends close to Brand commented on the unlikelihood of finding enough skin to apply Perry's face. "He's pretty well covered in ink already. Russel's back or chest would be the best place, but there just isn't enough room", says boyhood friend, Ethan Cudney-Chickering.

While reporters waited outside, the five hour ordeal ended with a giddy Ms. Perry and a visibly exhausted Brand emerging from the "Frith" with gauze covering the front of both thighs. Demanding to see the art and perhaps expecting to see two separate tattoos, reporters had a snicker once the well adapted image of Perry was seen as a single image with Russell's legs held together.

"There really wasn't a lot of room anywhere else, except for, well", Brand paused a moment, "Katy wasn't thrilled about me having her face across my buttocks, the image of shite around her mouth took care of that idea."

One reporter took the questioning a level deeper, asking about the juxtaposition of Katy's image during perhaps, more intimate moments. Brand replied, "Well I suppose she will be looking at her own face from time to time, but she preferred that to the thought of the alternative."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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