Co-Joined Twins May Have to be Separated

Funny story written by IainB

Thursday, 7 January 2010

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Who is in the most danger?

Co-Joined twins, Mary and Terry McBriar, may have to be separated on police advice.

During a day trip to a local shopping centre, Mary was facing one way, and Terry the other, when local Mafia boss, Peanut Johnson, took out a shot gun and blew away a rival capo.

As Mary was the one who saw the whole thing, with Terry completely oblivious, it is Mary that has said she will take the stand against this notorious gangster. This means she is now eligible for Witness Protection. Unfortunately, Terry is not eligible, having seen nothing.

"We've never had a situation like this before," said Special Agent for Witness Protection, who cannot be named for security purposes. "Our procedures prohibit us from putting Terry into witness protection, but we really need Mary under 24 hour surveillance in our top secret safe house."

With the operation to separate co-joined twins fraught with danger, and neither twin wanting separating anyway, there is a bit of a quandary. The local law-enforcement agencies are currently investigating the top specialists in co-join separation to ensure that none of them could be blackmailed into accidentally on purpose failing to separate the twins successfully.

"We cannot risk any of them to be in the pay of Johnson," said the SAWP agent.

The trial is set for May, but with Johnson already putting a contract out on Mary (but not Terry), police are on high alert.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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