STD Epidemic Strikes
Recently, a new STD has swept the state of Connecticut and New York. It is terribly unfortunate and has taken, thus far, about 200 lives. This is a new type of STD that no one has ever seen before. It seems to mock the existence of a human, prancing...
Read full storyGovernment Cash for Clits Program Abandoned Amidst Amoral Allegations
WASHINGTON, D.C., USA "Cash-for-Clits", the "fleet modernization" bill that was designed to replace old, tired hookers with new, fresh ones that need less lube, practice safer sex and are less polluted was expected to give the struggling sex industr...
Read full storyJoanna Lumley To Star In 'Some Like It Hot' Remake
Gurkha Goddess and erstwhile star of Absolutely Fabulous, Joanna Lumley is rumoured to be taking the lead role in a Barry Norman directed remake of Billy Wilder's classic 1959 comedy laugh riot, 'Some Like It Hot.' Lumley will play the Sugar Kane...
Read full storyLance Armstrong Fuming over Tour De France Finish
Paris, France - Lance Armstrong revealed today the depth of his despair in finishing third in the recently completed Tour De France. "I just can't bring myself to dismount from my bike even though the race ended last Sunday," said the seven time...
Read full storyFlogging a Dead Face
Today many prominent businessmen and people from the worlds of entertainment, sport and science were meeting at a Flogging a Dead Face convention in New York City, to find ways of coming to a peaceful solution to the battle for control of endlessly mentioning and talking about Michael Jackson. Convention host Donald V. Corleone announced to the delegates: 'People, we must keep this thing going...
Read full storyIs Ike a Raving Looney
The World has more conspiracy theorists now than ever before. Some of the best known conspiracy theories at present include a cover up of 911 (because there have been reports that the two towers came down like controlled explosions), the alien th...
Read full storyMichael Schumacher makes shock return to host TV Gameshow
The BBC are celebrating today, following the announcement that former F1 driver, Michael Schumacher, will be returning to host the hit TV Gameshow - "The Generation Game". The show is expected to pull in record audiences when the first episode air...
Read full storyT.P. Evangelist Anal Roberts Envisions Sea of Feces
TULSA, OK, USA Noted toilet paper evangelist Anal Roberts recently appeared on a television broadcast of Kenneth Crapland's Believer's Voice of the Fatally Flatulent and claimed to have experienced a vision in which "Smoke, and vapor, and a rolling...
Read full storyLed Zeppelin To Record A Christmas Album
LONDON - The manager of Led Zeppelin Christopher Dutchmill has stated that in lieu of going on tour, the heavy metal British band will instead record a Christmas album. Dutchmill stated that the reason that LZ decided against going on tour was due...
Read full storyNew Conservative Retirement Plan: Keep Working till you Drop Dead!
Washington, DC - A novel retirement plan for the people of America is under consideration in Congress. The plan put forth by conservative members of Congress is decidedly straight forward and simple. Aptly named the 'Keep Working Until You drop D...
Read full storyFat Federline May Get Own Reality TV Show
As Kevin Federline continues to pack on the pounds, he's now about 250 some say, he's in the process of landing his own reality show. The show would feature K-Fed along with girlfriend Victoria Prince and sons Sean Preston and Jayden James, eatin...
Read full storyTwilight Actress Leaving Before Eclipse
According to the latest "confirmed" rumor, Bella Swan will have a new antagonist in Twilight: Eclipse, as Bryce Dallas Howard will be replacing Rachelle Lefevre as the Bella-hating Victoria in next year's third installment. Rachelle's exit from th...
Read full storyMusharraf shuns Supreme Court summons, launches new Pervez Musharraf League (PML)
LONDONISTAN, UK: Former dictator and "winner of losing wars" (e.g. Kargil), little man Musharraf has decided to shun Supreme Court summons and upon the advice of his new "Best best friends" (cronies) has launched his own political party -the Pervez...
Read full storyMichael Jackson doctor smuggled into Balmoral Castle on Diprivan mercy mission
Ballybollox Castle, Scotland - (Rioters): Michael Jackson's anaesthetist has been secretly airlifted to the Queen's Scottish squat after the NHS refused to top up her Diprivan drip following a hunting accident to her ass. Er, nose! Conrad Murray...
Read full storyLocal Couple have Sex-Change
Local couple John and Mary Morris from number 64, Swallows lane, have gone out and got themselves a sex change to celebrate each others 40th anniversary. The loving couple felt they needed a change to spice up their tired love life and there is no...
Read full storyHellmouth Opens in Grounds of Knebworth House
The Occult News is reporting that about 50,000 demons have been spotted rampaging around the grounds of Knebworth House near Stevenage, prompting fears that a new Hellmouth has opened. The demons, many of them pasty teenagers or pot-bellied middle...
Read full storyLocal Man Can't Stand Heat - Decides to Get out of the Kitchen
Local man Jerry Umbridge, of number 6 Colchester Avenue, has exited his kitchen after noticing his wife, Tania, was reading shit UK ladies magazine 'Heat' at the kitchen table. The man stormed out in disgust after he could no longer take listening...
Read full storyLocal Man Doesn't Know how To Turn His Computer On
Local pensioner Tom Baxstard, 82, has been struggling to get to grips with modern life. The sprightly old coot used his life savings to purchase a used Commodore 64 computer. But poor Tom hasn't a fucking clue how to switch the blasted thing on! "...
Read full storyLocal Man Likes Being Photographed From the Right Hand Side Only
Local man Peter Arsewipe has told the local papers that he will only allow himself to be photographed facing towards the left - or the photographers right. The well-known ladies man is regularly photographed for pictures that appear on occasional...
Read full storyPope Benedict Calls For Peace on TheSpoof.com
The Holy Father, Pope Benedict has called on all the writers from TheSpoof.com to come together in a spirit of friendliness and harmony. The former Nazi and lover of 1970's Funk -particularly James Browne's 'Sex Machine' phase - asked that the feu...
Read full storyTomatoes Linked To Pizza By Scientific Researchers
Scientists at UK research facility Porton Down today revealed that there is in inextricable link between pizza and tomatoes. Pizzas, a fast food staple in most developed countries, originated in the city of Naples (or Napoli) where Diego Maradonna...
Read full storyHull City Totally Outclass Beijing Guoan
There was much cause for celebration amongst the hordes of travelling Hull City fans tonight when, playing in the Barclays Premier League Asian Trophy, the Tigers trounced the Chinese side, Beijing Guoan, 1-1 in the Workers Stadium. City took the...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck Are Actually Biological Brothers
MANHATTAN, New York - After years of mounting speculation, it is now official that GOP mouthpieces, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck are indeed biological brothers. Vigoroso "Parmesan Pete" Petaluchi who is the owner of the Brooklyn-based I See Youse,...
Read full storyGlenn Beck and the Birthers-New Album Released
Branson, MO - Many people may not know that Glenn Beck fancies himself a singer. Some who've heard him say "you either like him or you don't, there's no middle ground." His voice is sometimes likened to a high-pitched whine, while simultaneousl...
Read full storyPalin To Use Kryptonite on Obama
Former governor Palin is still being coy about her plans to run for the presidency in 2102 however top Republicans confide that she is secretly mobilizing for a serious run at president Obama. Starting at the grass roots level Palin has organized...
Read full storyNew Movie For Selena Gomez Also Co-Starring Zac Efron
Selena Gomez is set to star in a new movie called "Gasper" and that has nothing to do with the friendly ghost. On the contrary, it will be a bit racy according to 20th Century Fox who will produce and promote the movie. Another tween cutie is also...
Read full storyTarantino explains Inglourious basterds film title
Quentin Tarantino announced today that he spent 6 months locked in a room thinking for a agonizing over the title for his new film Inglourious basterds where a crack team of Jews scalp nazi's in the second world war. When interview recently he sa...
Read full storyGroup Questions Limbaugh's Genus
In the absence of hard evidence to the contrary conspiracy theorists continue to claim that Rush Limbaugh is not a member of the genus Homo sapiens. The group is demanding that Limbaugh certify that he in fact qualifies as modern man. Their initial i...
Read full storyShatner Does Palin Once
Everyone who caught the Conan O'Brien Show got a rare treat on Monday night-William Shatner reciting Sarah Palin's farewell speech in the style of a 50's beat poet. Dressed fittingly in black, Shatner had a little trouble with the iambic penta...
Read full storyAmerica's Got Talent Shocker: Kari Callen and 9-Year-Old Guitarist Sent Home
HOLLYWOOD - Two of the America's Got Talent contestants who many felt would at least make it into the Top Ten have been eliminated. The middle-aged Seattle singer Kari Callen who was born with a bio-lateral lip cleft and palate has fallen by the w...
Read full storyGossip Cop Gives TheSpoof 99% Accuracy
Gossip Cop, The New Snopes Of What's Real In Gossip, Says TheSpoof 99% Accuracy! No don't turn there for this article because it's 99% right so why believe them if they now come back and say TheSpoof is 99% wrong. I mean, how could you ever believ...
Read full storyGordon Brown strikes back at swearing Tories
Today Gordon Brown instantly struck back against the Tories blatantly swearing to attract younger votes. On the radio today David Cameron replied when asked about Twitter "The trouble with Twitter, the instantness of it - too many twits might ma...
Read full storyMichael Jackson seen buying fish and chips in Scarborough
Michael Jackson the former king of pop was today seen buying his favourite meal of Fish and chips in a chip shop in Scarborough. It was widely known the former king of pop's favourite meal was fish and chips but no one was prepared for him coming ba...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus to change her name by deed poll
Teen singing sensation Miley Cyrus is to change her name by deed poll next week. Her manager said that the singer was getting totally fed up with the rhyming schemes and slang the tabloid newspapers continued to use. She said that she could ju...
Read full storyThe Mystery of The Magus
When renovation was carried out on an old tudor house reputed to be one of the most haunted houses in England workmen discovered that there was a loose piece of stone flooring which when lifted led to an underground chamber. The chamber contained the equipment and manuscripts of a medieval alchemist and MAGUS called Geoffrey Carlyle. The Magus was known in history for conjuring up demons...
Read full storyTwenty20 Football
The Premier League chiefs stunned the world with a football version of the twenty20 cricket tournament. Premier League officials keen to profit from the success and popularity of crickets twenty20 tournament format have announced plans to have thei...
Read full storyGlenn Beck calls Obama "a racist": But I meant it in a good way!
Right wing broadcaster Glenn Beck called President Barack Obama "a racist" on Tuesday morning's airing of Fox and Friends. When the Federal Communications Commission threatened to fine him, Beck back pedaled and said, "Well, I meant it in a good way...
Read full storyMichael Vick Signs With The Detroit Lions
DETROIT - Recently released convict Michael Vick has just been signed by the Detroit Lions. The Lions who last year had the worst record in the history of the National Football League at 0-16 are thrilled beyond belief to land the services of this...
Read full storyBo Obama a Cuban spy
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a shocking press conference at the White House this morning, underqualified Press Secretary Robert Gibbs announced that Bo Obama - the President's dog, is in fact a confirmed cuban spy. Sources report that the dog has been opera...
Read full story"Kentucky" Kevin Skinner Makes America's Got Talent Top 40
LOS ANGELES - The former chicken catcher from Mayfield, Kentucky has made it into the top 40 of America's Got Talent. The three judges all said that they truly feel that Kevin has the potential to make it all of the way. Judge David Hasselhoff...
Read full storyHey Pistelero, There Is No "Ass" in "Astna"
MADRID, SPAIN Seven-time Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong of America, who had criticized his Astana teammate Alberto Contador of Spain as being inexperienced earlier this year, responded on Twitter to fresh criticism leveled by Contador. C...
Read full storyIs Corn-Fed K-Fed Too Well-Fed?
COTO DE CAZA, CA Kevin Federline got a lot of attention when he attended Ryan Sheckler's X Games Celebrity Skins Classic at the Cota de Caza Golf and Racquet Club on Monday, July 27, 2009 in Coto De Caza, California. Just not the kind he's used to g...
Read full storyRob Pattinson Says Fans Make Him Sick And That He's Had Enough
Superstar and erstwhile vampire actor Rob Pattinson today announced that he was sick to death of his so-called fans and said he'd had enough of the showbiz industry. Allegedly. He allegedly - but as yet unconfirmed - told me, and me alone: "...
Read full storyObama: Yes, I'm an Alien.
In a shocking statement to the press, Barack Obama finally admitted that he was not born in Hawaii. "I am," he said, "a brother from another planet." Obama confessed that he used his alien time machine to go back to 1961 and fake his own birth certif...
Read full storyDallas Police Looking For Illegal Lawn Waterers
DALLAS - The Dallas Police Department has issued a warning that anyone caught illegally watering their lawns will be subject to a fine. The city of Dallas which is home to the Cowboys, the Mavericks,and the Tall Texan Condom Company is looking as...
Read full storyMajor Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-11
Having reached the camp, the new truck driver was tied to the same post. Now, the gag was removed. The man started swearing. Major's command, "Captain, testicles" silenced the man. Now, Major said: o Do you know who I am? o No. o I am Yusef's nephew, and this man was my late uncle's boss you stole his herd. Remember? o No, Sir. You're mistaken. I am a poor truck driver. I am not a thief. Now...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson analysis communism
Robert Pattinson today gave an interview on his concepts of communism and capitalism. Pattinson explains that Capitalism helps Communism because Capitalism deteriorates an enemy's social structure. Robert Pattinson explains that Capitalism causes...
Read full storyNaughty Monkey Strikes Again
As Sarah Palin was speaking at a picnic in her hometown, Wasilla, AK, on July 26, delivering her farewell address to an audience of mostly supporters and admirers, she closed her statements by attacking the press for "making things up." She then led...
Read full storyThe Spy With The World's Largest Penis Writes A Poem
The spy with the world's largest penis, Bargis Tryhol, working out of MI6 on the South Bank of the Thames, near Waterloo Station has elected to stop serving the ladies with a portion in order to concentrate on poetry. Tryhol, somewhat dapper in a...
Read full storyBiedermann Beats Our Boy in Arena Astro-glide Suit!
ROME, ITALY At the World Swimming Championships in Rome today, German Paul Biedermann finished more than a second ahead of 14-time Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps of America to win the 200-meter freestyle. It was the first time in four years tha...
Read full storyLarge Penis/Vagina Stories With Lots Of F***ing Swearing Unlikely To Succeed In Rating Chart Say Spoof Administrators.
Administrators from satirical website TheSpoof.com today informed their lunatic contributors that satirical articles involving extreme bad language, with words such as 'fu*ck' and 'cu*nt' and 'her*ring' would not be tolerated much longer as such prac...
Read full storyTree hugger arrested for sex with sapling
Paul Bunyan claims to love trees;at least that is what he says. Forestry police claim he loves trees too much--to the point he has sexually assaulted a very young tree, a sapling, in fact. Bunyan was arrested for illegally fondling a fir tree Wedne...
Read full storyUK Going Mad For Naziism Communism Egalitarianism, Any Ism Aside From Thatcherism
As the UK reels under the devastating onslaught of a lack of 'isms' causing widespread suffering among a populace tragically deprived of 'isms' international observers have stepped in with an amazing 'ism' stimulus package. Naziism was proposed by...
Read full storyVerne Troyer Catches Up With Jalapenoman at Las Cruces Taqueria
LAS CRUCES, NM - A fast food fiesta turned into a midget massacre today when Verne Troyer finally caught up with Jalapenoman at El Taco Timbre in Las Cruces, New Mexico. Reports indicate the 2' 8" American actor and stunt performer was "burned up"...
Read full storyPalin Re-Joins Alaska Independence Party-Wants to be PM of Canada
Wasilla, AK - Former Gov. Sarah Palin has reportedly re-joined the Alaska Independence Party as party leader saying "I've had enough of those there ungrateful Americans. God willin' with me as leader of the AIP, we're not only gonna secede from the...
Read full storyGovernment Phone Call to a Senior Citizen Reported
Peoria IL: Mandatory "End-of-Life" counseling for seniors by a state-appointed practitioner is included in House Speaker Pelosi's Health Care Reform Bill. Senior citizens will soon be receiving telephone calls from the federal government. Teleph...
Read full storyFans Demand King of Poop Nod for Nobel Taking the Piss Prize
OSLO, NORWAY A Los Angeles student is leading a campaign of Michael Jackson fans who hope to land the late King of Pop, Soda and Cola a Nobel Peace Prize nomination. Over 2000 Jacksonites have signed on-line petitions in support of the campaign in th...
Read full story