Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes Part-11

Funny story written by walter

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

Having reached the camp, the new truck driver was tied to the same post. Now, the gag was removed. The man started swearing. Major's command, "Captain, testicles" silenced the man. Now, Major said:

o Do you know who I am?
o No.
o I am Yusef's nephew, and this man was my late uncle's boss you stole his herd. Remember?
o No, Sir. You're mistaken. I am a poor truck driver. I am not a thief. Now, Major showed the identity documents of men he had chained in the cave stable. Then he said:
o Now what? The man remained silent.
o Now I am taking you to your accomplices for a summary proceeding.

Before walking to the cave, the man's shoes were removed. After chaining him to the wall, Major lighted a Kerosene lantern and placed the lamp in the middle. He pulled a stool and sat on it. Addressing the thieves, he said:

o I am Major Antonius Julius Argus Xerxes. Having heard your confessions of stealing 300 sheep belonging to this man's shepherd, my late uncle Yusef, I condemn you all to death, i.e. throwing you into a deep shaft. Do you have anything to say before I execute you? I begin with this woman. Now, ordered his uncle's boss to remove the gags. Zuleika:

o Sir, like I said I am a hired whore. Ask them. I do not have any share in any robbery. Major turning to the so-called husband for verification who said:
o Sir, she is right. We never shared the stolen property with this woman. We have used her to allure our victims. She gets a fixed pay. Now, Major addressing the woman, said:
o Who's in charge among you? Nobody answered. Now, Major said:
o OK. Now, he lead the Captain to the so-called husband and shouted:
o Captain, testicles. Captain jumped on the man and grabbed his testicles. The man crying said:
o Stop him, Sir. I am the boss. Then, he exchanged a look with his gang who gave their consent. Now, the man said:
o We operate in a 300-hundred-mile radius. Major asked:
o What has been the value of the stolen property?
o Hundreds of thousands.
o What did you do with the money?
o We usually pay half of the value of any robbery to security force, but they are asking for more and more on a monthly basis. When we decided to quit, they threatened to arrest us; therefore, we have become desperate to steal anything we find to cover the charges. Only a desperate stupid gang would steal from you, Sir Major. Now, Major said:
o OK. I have only two choices for you: Either dump you in the shaft or turn you over. Choose one. The gang's boss pleadingly said:
o Sir, have mercy on us; give us a third choice. You have all the money we had. It may cover the cost of 300 sheep. Of course, excluding dairy, fleece and lambing. We will compensate the collateral damages.
(to be continued)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more