Local man Peter Arsewipe has told the local papers that he will only allow himself to be photographed facing towards the left - or the photographers right.
The well-known ladies man is regularly photographed for pictures that appear on occasionally popular website theSpoof.com - but insists that he will not turn the other cheek.
This makes life very difficult for photographers, as they struggle to decide which 'left' is Peter's left and which 'left' is their left.
Is his left their right or is his right their left?
And what about when they take pictures over the shoulder as they face away from Peter?
Is his 'left' their left still?
Peters image often accompanies 'hilarious' satirical and 'comical' tales which have fuck all to do with men wearing top hats.
The odd time these stories manage to work a man dressed in fine attire into their stories, but more often than not - as in this story you are reading right now - they have absolutely no bearing on the tale at all!
Peter usually likes to stare off into space and gaze at passing ladies bottoms and fantasise about licking them with his elongated tongue. He calls this trademark pose 'the thinker'.
A calendar featuring Peter staring off into space and wearing a variety of top hats and evening dress is on sale on Friday.
The calendar only covers the period from August to the end of the year, mainly because the printers were too lazy to release it last year.