Dallas Police Looking For Illegal Lawn Waterers

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

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Della Dunst, a 97-year-old resident of Dallas who was almost tasered for illegally watering her pansies.

DALLAS - The Dallas Police Department has issued a warning that anyone caught illegally watering their lawns will be subject to a fine.

The city of Dallas which is home to the Cowboys, the Mavericks,and the Tall Texan Condom Company is looking as dry as toast.

The DPD has set up a 24-hour hot hot-line which takes calls from citizens who are turning in their neighbors for 'illegal watering.'

One Dallas resident turned in her 97-year-old neighbor Della Dunst who was watering a pot of pansies on a day that was not her day to water. The police arrived and told Mrs. Dunst to put down the water hose nice and easy.

Mrs. Dunst, who is hard of hearing simply smiled at the officers. At that time officer Elijah Grenadine (Badge #98743) pulled his pistol out of its holster and repeated his command.

And again, the hard-of-hearing Dunst simply smiled. She reached into her apron pocket for a raisin-oatmeal cookie to give to the officer. Grenadine immediately thought that she was reaching for a weapon.

He pointed his gun at Mrs. Dunst who panicked and threw the raisin-oatmeal cookie at the officer. The cookie missed, but he instinctly fired off a warning shot over Ms. Dunst's blue haired head.

She started screaming and threw herself on the ground crushing the hell out of the pansies.

Officer Grenadine quickly went over to her, put her arms behind her back, and placed the handcuffs on her wrists. Mrs. Dunst, who only weighs 87 pounds, was able to quickly slip out of them.

Grenadine then started to reach for his taser gun, but his partner officer Tango Buckmeister instantly shot the taser gun out of Grenadine's hand.

Ms. Dunst was allowed to get back in her walker and go on inside before she got an even worse sunburn than she already had.

The hot Texas sun is starting to make folks act peculiar as hell.

Meanwhile in other news. Burglars broke into Detroit's Newspaper Museum. Authorities say that all that the burglars stole was a collection of crossword puzzles. Detroit Police are, to say the least, quite puzzled.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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