"Kentucky" Kevin Skinner Makes America's Got Talent Top 40

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

image for "Kentucky" Kevin Skinner Makes America's Got Talent Top 40
Kevin Skinner minus his backwards baseball cap performing at the Piggly Wiggly Supermarket in Mayfield, Kentucky.

LOS ANGELES - The former chicken catcher from Mayfield, Kentucky has made it into the top 40 of America's Got Talent.

The three judges all said that they truly feel that Kevin has the potential to make it all of the way.

Judge David Hasselhoff asked Kevin if his life had changed in anyway since he has been seen on America's Got Talent by millions of people.

"Well sir." The polite Kentuckian said, "Now when I go into the Piggly Wiggly Supermarket people will stop their shopping carts and say, 'hey isn't you that America's Got Talent feller.'"

Kevin grins and says that it's funny because people ask him to autograph their cartons of Borden's Milk, their boxes of Gladiola Cornbread Mix, and their packages of Jimmy Dean Sausage.

He said that one young mother, who couldn't have been more than 16 asked him to autograph her baby's diaper. Kevin said that he'd rather not because he felt that the baby might cry whenever he dotted the 'i.'

Kevin did agree, at the mama's insistence, to sign the baby's pacifier though.

Judge Sharon (Osbourne) asked Kevin how his girlfriend Wanda Sue was doing.

"Oh she's fine. And thank ya for askin'. Right now Wandy's back home in Mayfield. In fact, I just talked to her about 20 minutes ago, but I couldn't hear her to good over the roar of my new hoing and tillin' tractor."

Kevin smiled with pride as he told judge Sharon that one day last week Rufus Bob Clovismill, manager of the local McDonald's had honored him by naming his drive thru window, The Kevin Skinner Honorary Drive Thru Window.

Skinner got a little tear in his eye as he said that Clovismill had even named a special menu item after him.

Clovismill said that since he changed the menu name of the McDonald's French Fries to the Kevin Skinner Skinless French Fries sales have tripled.

Skinner was asked what song he plans on performing for his next appearance on America's Got Talent. He thought for a moment and then said that he had narrowed it down to three, "Amarillo By Morning" by George Strait, "Jolene" by Dolly Parton, or "Poker Face" by Lady GaGa.

In a related story. Kevin did reveal to America's Got Talent host Nick Cannon that he did buy some brand new Fruit of the Loom boxer shorts.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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