Funny story: 'The Juice' Can't Get a Break

'The Juice' Can't Get a Break

LOS ANGELES - A Los Angeles superior court judge has ordered that any money O. J. Simpson earns from the sale of his new 'The Juice' orange juice dispenser must go directly to the family of the late Ronald Goldman. Simpson, who partnered wit...
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Funny story: Jaws Takes Bite Out Of Crime

Jaws Takes Bite Out Of Crime

A massive drug deal was hindered yesterday by none other than a great white shark.
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Funny story: Man Breaks Neck while Eating Beans

Man Breaks Neck while Eating Beans

Last night Harold hernia 65 apparently broke his neck whilst munching on his favourite evening snack "Herbert's Bulgarian Beans" all was going swimmingly until Harold took his last bite of the rich in iron snack.
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Funny story: Lady Lucan killed Lord Lucan: Scotland Yard

Lady Lucan killed Lord Lucan: Scotland Yard

London - (Ass Mess): Lady Lucan killed her husband Lord Lucan after a frenzied fight over the family silver on the night the noble Lord fatally attacked his children's nanny Sandra Rivett.
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Funny story: Survivorman Takes on the Elements

Survivorman Takes on the Elements

Montreal, Canada (IP) - Tonight is the opening night for Les Stroud's Survivorman fall season. This show, along with Man Vs. Wild, have enjoyed phenomenal growth in their popularity this year and tonight's episode promises to be a good one.
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Funny story: World shares fall on Corrupt Bastards Club rumors

World shares fall on Corrupt Bastards Club rumors

Wall Street - (Rioters): Hundreds of billions of dollars were wiped from stock markets today amid persistent rumors that the Corrupt Bastards Club has infiltrated global financial institutions and is planning to finance a heist on Antarctic oil rese...
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Funny story: Stem-cell technology allows animal-free meat

Stem-cell technology allows animal-free meat

While poorly educated societies living under constant fear of Mad Cow Disease and Avian Flu grapple with the concept of eating cloned beef, a Green approach for supplying the ever-increasing global market with meat products is receiving little attent...
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Funny story: My Brave Soldier.

My Brave Soldier.

From a Mother to her son. My Son.
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Funny story: UK Identity cards - It's a reality

UK Identity cards - It's a reality

The UK government has finally decided to implement its decision on ID cards.
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Funny story: New Hampshire Announces 2008 Presidential Primary Held Yesterday

New Hampshire Announces 2008 Presidential Primary Held Yesterday

New Hampshire fired a deciding shot in the skirmish to decide what state would kick off the 2008 primary decision by announcing that its 2008 Presidential Primary was held yesterday.
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Funny story: Google offers to buy TheSpoof.com for $1 zillion!

Google offers to buy TheSpoof.com for $1 zillion!

Google, that powerhouse of Internet technology, has reportedly made an offer to buy TheSpoof.com website for $1 zillion.
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Funny story: Visitors sad as Dust Museum shuts for stock-take

Visitors sad as Dust Museum shuts for stock-take

Visitors and Tourists in Leicester were sad at the temporary closure of its world famous Dust Museum for Stock-taking.
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Funny story: Exoplanet TrES -ALKA-5 Discovered

Exoplanet TrES -ALKA-5 Discovered

Mount Palomar Campus, California (IP) - Our science reporter just learned that another exoplanet has been found in the same stellar system occupied by TrES-4 in an orbit about twice as far as the first planet.
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Funny story: U.S. Post Office Lays Off All Employees But Two

U.S. Post Office Lays Off All Employees But Two

Mephistopheles, Tennessee (IP) - The United States Post Office has decided to downsize their operations to save money and also will raise the price of its stamp. The price of the new stamp will be $47,350.
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Funny story: UK spooks get the last laugh as David Shayler falls for psychic prophecy

UK spooks get the last laugh as David Shayler falls for psychic prophecy

Whitehall - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Not since ex-Prime Monster Tony Blair's wife Cherie pleaded with British TV audiences "Do I really look bonkers?" have spooks at MI5 and MI6 had such a good laugh with today's news that fo...
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Funny story: Nursery Closed After Road Rage Children Go Crazy

Nursery Closed After Road Rage Children Go Crazy

LONDON (Defecated News) - The quiet leafy suburb of Northwood, Middlesex transformed into baby mayhem yesterday.
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Funny story: Cliff Richard Suspected of Being an Immortal Impostor

Cliff Richard Suspected of Being an Immortal Impostor

Surrey Police have detained Cliff Richard on the charge of being an impostor who is possibly an immortal alien, their suspicions having been raised by the Peter Pan singer's never-never-ending copyright extension term proposals.
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Funny story: Space Shuttle Makes Emergency Landing at Airport

Space Shuttle Makes Emergency Landing at Airport

Las Vegas, Nevada (IP) - The Space Shuttle made an emergency landing at Las Vegas International Airport this morning at 0300 hours UTC. The problem which precipitated the unscheduled landing was a lack of alcohol required by some of the members of...
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Funny story: Oprah Accused of Money Laundering

Oprah Accused of Money Laundering

(Chicago) - Super rich talk show host, Oprah Wimpy, today was accused of money laundering.
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Funny story: Big Ben To Bong For The Last Time

Big Ben To Bong For The Last Time

Confusion is expected in central London tomorrow when Big Ben, the mother of all grandfather clocks, will stop ticking for good.
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Funny story: TrES-4 Exoplanet Teaming With Termites

TrES-4 Exoplanet Teaming With Termites

West Palm Beach, Florida (IP) - Termite scientist, astronomer, and spokesman Dr. David Tomasello who works for Tomasello Pest Control in West Palm Beach, Florida has announced that the Exoplanet TrES-4 should not be towed near the Earth because he ha...
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Funny story: Tallest Man In The World Eclipsed By New Tallest Man In The World

Tallest Man In The World Eclipsed By New Tallest Man In The World

Contrary to a tall story last month on The Spoof that a Mongolian relative of Genghis Khan was the tallest man in the world, a Ukranian man has now been officially recognised as the new tallest man i...
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Funny story: Pink Panther sequel casts Aishwarya Rai as Koh-i-Noor cat burglar

Pink Panther sequel casts Aishwarya Rai as Koh-i-Noor cat burglar

Hollywood - (Ass Mess): Bollywood queen Aishwarya Rai is to star alongside Steve Martin, Andy Garcia, John Cleese and Alfred Molina in a Pink Panther sequel that will see her topping the bill as an elusive cat burglar out to steal the fabled Koh-I-No...
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Funny story: Animals Will No Longer Warn Humans of Impending Disasters

Animals Will No Longer Warn Humans of Impending Disasters

Tahiti, South Pacific (IP) - Our investigative reporter has just been informed that animals will no longer warn humans of impending disasters. Many animals let humans know when the great tsunami hit the Pacific Island a couple of years ago. The sam...
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Funny story: Power Failure Knocks Out Milky Way Galaxy Star Light

Power Failure Knocks Out Milky Way Galaxy Star Light

Greater Magellanic Coud, Milky Way Galaxy (IP) - Last night a problem with the Milky Way's power plant knocked out power to the entire galaxy for two hours. The Milky Way's two satellite galaxies, the large and small Magellanic couds, were n...
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Funny story: Mount Rushmore Planned to Be Replaced With Naked Bush

Mount Rushmore Planned to Be Replaced With Naked Bush

George W. Bush's least trustworthy architect yesterday revealed blueprints of a plan to recarve American monument Mount Rushmore, which currently displays the heads of the four founding fathers, into an erotic picture of Bush naked, including the...
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Funny story: Bush Discovered To Have Extra Banana Genes

Bush Discovered To Have Extra Banana Genes

American President George W. (Wanker) Bush has been revealed to have 75% more banana genes than a normal human.
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Funny story: PM Declares Jihad and Attains Hafiz Status

PM Declares Jihad and Attains Hafiz Status

Gordon Brown, the UK Prime Minister, yesterday declared a Jihad (Islamic Holy War) on America. In a stunning statement of just how bad Bush-Brown relations had become, he urged all Englishmen living in the USA to fight back against persecution of the...
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Funny story: Bush Karzai agree to keep hiding

Bush Karzai agree to keep hiding

Afghan President Hamid Karzai said Monday, in a joint press conference with still President George Bush that he is working to root the Taliban from their mountain hideouts. The press conference was held at President Bush's mountain hideout Camp...
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Funny story: Russian Lady Crowned Miss Boring 2007

Russian Lady Crowned Miss Boring 2007

LONDON (Defecated News) - Isabel Chernokova was yesterday crowned Miss Boring 2007 at the less than glitzy pageant in Sothend-On-Sea, Essex. Finalists flocked by the dozen from around the world to the event sponsored by Channel 4'...
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Funny story: UK's Oldest Goldfish Has A Very Happy Birthday

UK's Oldest Goldfish Has A Very Happy Birthday

Pet fish sensation, Goldie, the UK's longest living goldfish, is celebrating his 103rd birthday today and looks set to carry on swimming into the record books.
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Funny story: Sulky Rabbit says 'Leave me alone'

Sulky Rabbit says 'Leave me alone'

Sulky Rabbit says 'Leave me alone'...
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Funny story: West Ham Boss Eggert Magnussen Discovered to be an Egg - It's no Yolk

West Ham Boss Eggert Magnussen Discovered to be an Egg - It's no Yolk

Eggert Magnussen, the West Ham chairman whose hobbies include paying crap players 70k a week, and spending afternoons dropping £50 notes down the drain (or into the pockets of Lucas Neill) caused a brief sensation yesterday when, during a routine che...
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Funny story: First Gay Divorce Recorded

First Gay Divorce Recorded

San Francisco, site of the nation's first officially recognized same-sex marriages, has just seen the first known same-sex divorce. Newlyweds Ben Dover and Bud Fugger, who during their 5-month marriage took turns being the girl, went to court tod...
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Funny story: Congressional Republicans introduce new abortion bill

Congressional Republicans introduce new abortion bill

Republicans in the House and Senate recently introduced a new bill concerning abortion. Key provisions are as follows:...
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Funny story: Bush's Grab of Iraqi Oil Unites Iraq Against the USA

Bush's Grab of Iraqi Oil Unites Iraq Against the USA

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Iraq's Shiites, Sunnis and Kurds are uniting in their fight against the oil laws that George Bush and his Big Oil cronies are pushing in the Iraqi Parliament.
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Funny story: Christmas Doctor Who To Feature Felicity Kendal

Christmas Doctor Who To Feature Felicity Kendal

The Head of BBC Entertainment has said in a statement, that more ex-celebrities have been invited to star in the exciting new Christmas Doctor Who episode.
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Funny story: John Cleese Denounces the Name "Virgin America" Airlines

John Cleese Denounces the Name "Virgin America" Airlines

London - John Cleese is speaking out against the new branch of Virgin Airlines, calling Virgin American a "sham".
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Funny story: Maddie Top Cop Defends Blundered Investigation

Maddie Top Cop Defends Blundered Investigation

Lisboa, PORTOOGAAHL (Defectaed News)- Over 100 days after little Maddie went missing, Portuguese police are finding themselves under greater scrutiny and criticism and in deep shit. Until now, they have refused to talk to us - until...
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Funny story: Legionnaires Disease Outbreak Leaves One Dead, Others Feeling "Ropey"

Legionnaires Disease Outbreak Leaves One Dead, Others Feeling "Ropey"

The laboratory in Surrey at the centre of the Foot & Mouth outbreak investigation, is being blamed for the outbreak of another potentially fatal illness, Legionnaires Disease, in the West Midlands to...
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Funny story: Lord Lucan Found 'Sitting On A Log" By Hobbits In New Zealand

Lord Lucan Found 'Sitting On A Log" By Hobbits In New Zealand

Lord Lucan, the eccentric English peer who disappeared from the face of the earth after his children's nanny was murdered in 1974, has been found alive and well by Hobbits in New Zealand.
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Funny story: Michael Jackson - Latest Interview.

Michael Jackson - Latest Interview.

LOS ANJILEEZ (Defecated News) - He's getting on a bit, can't make decent music anymore and does not molest boys. Broke pop king Michael Jackson has been in hiding since being cleared of child abuse charges, and many...
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Funny story: More People Nearly Die from Sensory Deprivation

More People Nearly Die from Sensory Deprivation

Picabo, Idaho (The Daily Spud) - Move over, methamphetamine epidemic. The latest craze is frighteningly more common and three times as addictive.
View 'More People Nearly Die from Sensory Deprivation'
Funny story: Hop off Henry!

Hop off Henry!

Ex- Arsenal legend Thierry Henry has said that he wants to get away from everything English - including his wife!...
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Funny story: Gladys Beckham In Shock Soccer Debut

Gladys Beckham In Shock Soccer Debut

LOS ANJILEEZ (Defecated News) - Finally, the moment the football world has been waiting for arrived last night. David Beckham's multi-million dollar deal with L.A. Galaxy, based in L.A. was shown to the fans in full glory.
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Funny story: Barry Bonds & Bob Costas Come to Oral Blows

Barry Bonds & Bob Costas Come to Oral Blows

US and A (ESPN) - After Barry Bonds referred to sports commentator Bob Costas as "a little midget man who doesn't know jack about baseball", Costas has upped the ante by giving Bonds the nickname 'The Juicer'. (Strangely, Mr. B...
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Funny story: Elderly Pilots Insist That They Are Fit To Fly

Elderly Pilots Insist That They Are Fit To Fly

Bedford, New Hampshire (AP) - The recently-formed Senior Pilots Coalition (SPC), whose membership now exceeds more than 250, is challenging the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) 48-year-old rule that requires commercial airline pilots to retire a...
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Funny story: Bahama Islands Moving Further Out to Sea

Bahama Islands Moving Further Out to Sea

Nassau, Bahama Islands (IP) The Prime Minister of the Bahamas has announced that its top scientists will attach large outboard motors to the Islands and move them east, away from the United States.
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Funny story: Britney Spears Opens Finishing School for Proper Ladies

Britney Spears Opens Finishing School for Proper Ladies

Martha Stewart, The PTA, Ladies Home Journal, Better Homes and Gardens and The Readers Digest were up in arms today when it was announced Britney Spears would be opening a finishing school for proper young ladies.
View 'Britney Spears Opens Finishing School for Proper Ladies'
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