Written by Fred Peters
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Topics: thierry henry

Friday, 10 August 2007

Ex- Arsenal legend Thierry Henry has said that he wants to get away from everything English - including his wife!

Cheeky get

The pouting homo magnet said that England was full of pork-gobbling, pink- faced drunks, who are only interested in sport, soft porn, gambling and telly. This paper thinks he has got a bare-bottomed cheek in a recent wry aside, he is rumoured to have remarked, 'I did not invest in pork belly futures.' The French frequently make pseudo-philosophical comments, so perhaps we should take this with a rub of garlic..


But only five minutes ago Thierry was proclaiming his l'oeuf for l'angleterre and all things British. He has often been seen strutting along trendy KIng's Road in a flat with his thumbs on his braces, wearing a cockney flat cap and waistcoat.


Many have seen him pounding the beery keys of an old 'Joanna', with cheeks full of jellied eels' having a good old cockney sing-along down an East End boozer called 'the cheeky Ferret'. He recently boasted in an interview with A. Nonnymus: 'When I 'ave been trenning I lurve le pie and mash - avec beaucoup de mushy peas, s'il vous plait!'


Let's hope the Barcelona fans turn on him like baying wolves and rip him apart after a hat-full of squandered chances forces a dour 0-0 draw at the Nou Camp against lowly opposition.


And maybe some English tourists might just be there to urinate on his corpse!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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