Colorado Springs, Colorado - (Ass Mess): Pastor Ted Haggard is on his uppers and strapped for cash. The former evangelical minister is appealing to former congregation members for donations to finance his paranormal studies at the Phoenix Dream Cent...
Biscuit makers in Torquay have launched a brand new biscuit in honour of forthcoming London Mayoral candidate, Boris Johnson.
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The United States of Texas - Cal-el flew into TheSpoof.com window to update us on what he is doing to spread world peace. It seems that he has contacted LULAC and pledged to give Texas back to Mexico.
In the wake of increasing rumours of a British pull out from Iraq, President Bush vowed to get tough on the lilly livered Brits yesterday. Speaking from the White House, Bush bemoaned the departure of his pet Primeminister Blair and labelled his repl...
Mikey the angry Mallard today went on strike for the sake of his feathered brethren. Mikey, an 8 Month old duck is striking for better conditions for Ducks, claiming that they wish to have a better diet than the soggy bread that three year old childr...
It seems as though nothing imported from China is safe anymore. On the heels of recalls of various and sundry goods such as pet food, doggie rawhide chews, an array of children's toys, and Spongebob Squarepants writing tablets, comes the latest...
Archaeologists in Turkey have unearthed what they call "an important theo-culinary artefact" during excavations near an ancient temple in the north of the country.
The ancient manuscript, entitled 'The Book of Donor", appears to detail the unlikel...
Dozens of people were hurt last night as rival reality TV fans fought pitched battles on the streets of Elstree.
Mexico - (Ass Mess): NATO vessels have stepped up surveillance operations on Russian submarines following this week's seizure of five tons of cocaine aboard a Bloodyvostock-registered sub that ran aground off Guatemalan waters following Hurricane...
In Manchester, yesterday a new memoir was launched, but this was no ordinary memoir of hard times overcome, or of self pity. This was a memoir, written by an anonymous author, who has recently turned three.
Valdez, Alaska - (Ass Mess): The $2.7 million private jet that former Alaskan governor Frank H Murkowski swindled out of state funds in 2005 for his own hubristic pleasures was finally sold today on eBay, realising $2.1 million as scrap.
A shirt worn by the Hull City team during their unsuccessful 1992-93 season has been voted the most fashionable and visually-pleasing ever by football fans.
Sydney, Australia - (Ass Mess): Kate Middleton's self-publicising trip to Australian horseracing's blue riband Melbourne Cup Day has been cancelled after officials confirmed a widespread outbreak of whores flu.
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - The world's investors now recognize that the US financial system is nothing but a giant fraudulent Ponzi scam said Federal Reserve chief Ben Bernanke in an exclusive interview with FMLiveWire.
Hurricane PacMan continues to devastate the Florida coast. The freak weather condition was named after meteorologists noticed an uncanny resemblance to the character in the old computer game.
In another bungled medical operation, a man who went into hospital for an arthroscopy of his knee woke up to find that the lower half of his face had been replaced with … a book.
A survey of more than 10,000 children under the age of 13, has shown that an overwhelming number of them believe that many of today's footballers receive "far too much money" in their pay packets.
The survey, carried out by the Children's BBC News...
The police have continued to make arrests throughout northern England as police attempt to crackdown on the cheese dealing trade.
Scientist have revealed findings, in the journal 'Science stuff', which show if there are any men on mars they would have to be really small.
The new branch of terror police, armed with axes, has been re-deployed from today. They were suspended from duty last year, after several incidents, within London's tube network.
Four members of the Japanese triad 'The Order Of The Flying Goats Which Make A Noise Not Dissimilar To That To A Frog Committing Suicide On A Tree Though More Finch-Like', which is a rough translation from the original Japanese, were arrested...
The conservative leader has admitted that he took drugs whilst at Eaton. In his auto-biography he revealed that while at Eaton he, on more than one occasion, eaten some Cathedral City, or done a bit of Red Leicester.
Police today arrested a nineteen year old flapjack in Reading for incitement of racial hatred. The flapjack was found by Terror police lying in the shape of a swastika on a pavement.
City of Industry, California (Salad Bar Monthly) - The 'Los Angeles Salad Company' has been forced to recall a large quantity of its "Genuine Sweet Baby Carrots" due to contamination with the bacteria Shigella.
Inside the Beltway (Woodworking Magazine) - According to White House insiders, the fact that Karl Rove always carried a piece of wood around in his pants pocket was the thing that ultimately led to his failure.
South Beach, Florida - A study reports that elderly people are staying sexually active well into their 60's, 70's, 80's and beyond what God, Mother Nature or their bodies intended. Although no doubt keeping the elderly mentally vibrant an...
Several anonymous United Nations sources reported today of the Galactic Origins Domination Project. Government whistle-blowers praise it as next to Heaven in scope.
OUTRAGED Democrats last night called for President Bush to stand down after learning he had leaked vital defence plans on a MySpace page.