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Topics: Space

Friday, 10 August 2007

image for TrES-4 Exoplanet Teaming With Termites
Artist's rendering of the planet's surface

West Palm Beach, Florida (IP) - Termite scientist, astronomer, and spokesman Dr. David Tomasello who works for Tomasello Pest Control in West Palm Beach, Florida has announced that the Exoplanet TrES-4 should not be towed near the Earth because he has found that the giant balsa wood planet is teaming with termites.

He first became suspicious of the planet's name TrES-4 when he suddenly realized during a dream that TrES-4 is a cleverly disguised abbreviation for TErMitES-4 YOU! - the YOU is not visible without the proper scientific equipment. He had to get out of bed and change shirts because the horrifying dream had disturbed him so badly that he found himself soaked with sweat.

David also is a very good jazz bass player and he is afraid that the termites would consume his collection of bass guitars.

As a result of this fortuitous discovery scientists have decided to discontinue their efforts to bring the giant infested sphere of balsa wood into the solar system and will program the strap-on Thiokol boosters to take the exoplanet into the Galactic Core.

Update: The balsa wood exoplanet was taken to the galactic core where it ended up plugging up the Milky Way's power plant and ended up causing a two hour power interruption that affected the entire galaxy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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